5 Reasons We Need A Breakup Leave of Absence

Work romance between two business people holding a heart

There is a reason you feel so awful after a breakup: breakups are another form of loss. And even if the person didn’t die, it sure can feel like it. There will be a giant, gaping hole in your life that will make you feel like something is missing. And this hole doesn’t fill up over night! The healing process from a breakup, just like after you physically lose a person, can take quite some time. So it’s really quite unfair that you’re expected to be at work the following day, chipper as ever and ready to meet all those deadlines. Sure, you could take one of your sick days, but that won’t change the fact that your coworkers will think of you as weak for taking a sick day over a breakup.  Breakups should be given their own separate leave of absence in the workplace and acknowledged as the grueling grieving process that they are. Here are 5 reasons why!

1. Quality is sacrificed

You just don’t feel like doing sh*t. But you have to, so you do your work anyway, but it’s just not up to par. Even if you’re trying your best. It’s probably your worst best ever. You may as well have not done it at all.

Stressed business woman

2. Productivity suffers

When you’re not trying your worst best, you’re doing nothing instead. This is the point after a breakup when you master the art of looking like you’re doing really-busy-and-important-stuff without actually doing it. It’s another skill for the set, but not necessarily something to be proud of. Long, vacant stares into the distance become your new signature “thing”. Or, alternatively, your thoughts won’t stop racing, so to quiet them, you binge-watch cute sea lion videos all day. They truly are the puppies of the sea.

Group therapy in session sitting in a circle in a bright room

3. Annoying coworkers

You’re already a little more irritable than usual at work, and your usually annoying coworkers seem more obnoxious than ever. They’ll probably deploy the usual post-breakup comfort cliches, like “there are plenty of fish in the sea” or “have you ever thought about dating *insert other coworker’s name here*?” They might even go as far as to ask you to get a drink with them later, to pull you out of the slump. Too soon! Sometimes you just want to stay at home and eat microwaveable ziti and listen to Ina Garten’s soothing voice.

4. Appropriate work attire? No thanks!

Wear a bra? No sweatpants allowed? No one has ever uttered more tragic words to you in your life. All you really want to do is cocoon in your bed for a few hours in your comfiest clothes, and you should be allowed to!

Desperate employee stressed man resting head on laptop

5. Heartless bosses

Your boss probably doesn’t care about your love life. Never has, never will, so your sudden heartbreak won’t change anything. You’re still expected to show up, look good, be happy, and get work done. But this is an unrealistic expectation! We’re human beings, not emotionless robots (at least, not yet) so there’s literally no way you can “have that thing on their desk” by Friday when you don’t even have your sh*t together yet! Hey, nobody’s asking for months off to wallow in self-pity, but a day or two off for mental and emotional wellness could be just the thing to help you bounce-back to your badass self and start slaying at the workplace again!

Written By Brianna Porter

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

4 Buddhist Mantras To Help You Breeze Through A Breakup

Woman doing yoga on the lake - beautiful lights

Moving on after a breakup is easier said than done, especially when being bitter and petty about it is just so much more satisfying. It’s called being human. And it’s alright to feel this way for a certain amount of time, but as soon as you cross over into key-his-car-a-la-Carrie-Underwood territory, you’ve gone too far. This is where Buddhist teachings come in; Buddhists believe that the best way to deal with anger is through mindfulness practice. Now, this can mean a variety of things, and everyone’s mindfulness practice can be different, but one way to practice being mindful is through meditation and chanting mantras.

So how do you do it?

Here are 4 Buddhist mantras you can try out while meditating that’ll help you conquer your inner breakup-zilla and breeze through your breakup to a better you. Everyone deserves an equal opportunity at happiness and peace, and these 4 mantras might help you get there.

1. Green Tara Mantra

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha

Young black woman doing yoga at home in the lotus position

The Tara mantra is used to push through physical, emotional, and mental blockages, and even blockages in relationships. This mantra requires a resignation to let go of a particular outcome you may be hanging on to, as this often promotes unhappiness and frustration when you don’t get your way. When chanting this mantra, think about letting go, and all of your negative energy will come back to you as positive energy.

Use It When: you’re gripping too tightly to the things you just need to let go of

2. Amitabha Mantra

Om Ami Dewa Hrih

Young woman doing yoga by the lake, childs pose

This mantra is for overcoming any obstacles or hindrances to your personal growth and success (bad breakups included). Chanting this mantra can enhance your compassionate and loving nature, which may be lacking after a recent breakup.

Use It When: you can feel yourself thinking thoughts full of revenge, destruction and vengeance

3. Manjushri Mantra

Om A Ra Pa Ca Na Dhih

Afro American couple doing yoga

This mantra is said to enhance wisdom and improve one’s communication (both verbal and written) skills. Both of these things are very important not only in a relationship, but after the end of one, when you may feel like doing or saying something impulsive. Just don’t. Chant this instead.

Use It When: You feel impulses to shout your feelings and destroy things with spiteful words.

4. Avalokitesvara Mantra

Om Mani Padme Hum

Young woman in paschimottanasana pose, home interior background,

Buddhists believe that repeating this mantra will invite the blessings of Chenrezig, the embodiment of compassion. It’s no secret that after a breakup, you may be deficient in the compassion department. Any resentment or ill-will towards your ex can make you begin to resent others, too. Invite all the blessings of compassion you can because even if you are a bit of a breakup-zilla, you deserve it.

Use It When: You’re stuck in a negative spiral, replaying old events and recalling old conversations

The Top 5 Foods To Increase Your Mood After A Break-up

Close-up of a young woman lying on the bed in front of a laptop

As we all know, breaking up with your partner causes one of the worst types of pain. All of a sudden, every little silver lining is gone without a trace, and it seems like all hope is lost. This hopelessness is what makes break-ups seem unbearable.

Parting with your significant other is a traumatic event for your body, that generates a cascade of organic effects. In fact, the sudden drop in serotonin is responsible for your awful mood. While it is commonly referred to as the “happiness hormone,” serotonin is actually a neurotransmitter that has a significant effect on our general mood.

So it makes sense that boosting your serotonin level is the perfect way to help ease the pains of your break-up. It wont make your heartache disappear, but every little bit helps. And it’s pretty easy to make some changes to your diet. Especially if those changes involve incorporating foods that help increase your serotonin levels naturally. Here are five of the best to load up on right away.

1. Carb-Rich Foods

Fresh tasty breadCarbohydrates are essential for boosting your serotonin levels. There’s a reason that pizza tastes so good! However, they have an indirect action in the metabolism of serotonin. A carb-rich meal will increase your insulin levels. This means your blood levels of amino acids will become very low because most of them will be stored in the muscles.

The amino acid tryptophan, which is the main precursor to serotonin, is not stored in the muscles. It can actually cross the blood-brain barrier without having to compete with other amino acids and become available for serotonin production.

The best way to make carbs work in your favor is to have at least one carbohydrate-rich meal a day. So eat as much bread, pizza, and cookies as you want because they will actually make you feel better. To maximize the effect, you must also include tryptophan-rich foods in your diet. We will tell you all about these right away!

2. Nuts and Seeds

nuts and seets

Nuts and seeds can do wonders for your body. From helping you get rid of chapped lips to boosting your brain activity, nuts can help you maintain a healthy lifestyle. In fact, almondspeanutssunflower seeds, and pumpkin seeds are also an excellent source of tryptophan, which makes them excellent for your post break-up diet. Include these delicious treats in your diet to help boost your serotonin levels naturally.

3. Yogurt

Bowl of fresh mixed berries and yogurt

Yogurt and other fermented dairy products like kefir and soured milk are rich in natural probiotics. While it might seem odd, serotonin is mostly found in the gut. As such, optimizing your digestive process is extremely important for the serotonin metabolism. Add some fruit and nuts to your yogurt, and you will get a healthy treat that will actually help you get over your break-up blues.

4. Fish

Sushi Nigiri with fresh salmon and Maki roll

Fish is yet another valuable source of tryptophan, so it is essential that you add it to your diet. Oily fish such as salmontuna, or sardines are your best choices because they are also rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which will also contribute to the process.

To get the best results, you should have your fish meal before thecarbohydrate-based one. This will ensure that your body already has all the tryptophan it needs for the serotonin. Keep this in mind when planning your meals for the day, and you will start feeling better in no time!

5. Dark Chocolate

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No post break-up diet is complete without chocolate. And it seems that there is a very good reason why this is helpful. Dark chocolate is rich in theobromine, which is a natural compound similar to caffeine, as well as tryptophan. This makes it one of the best foods you could have for your serotonin-boosting diet. So have as much dark chocolate as you want because it can do wonders for your health!

These five foods can actually make a difference in your mood after a break-up because they will actively help you increase your serotonin levels. Eat as many carbs and chocolate as you want because they are your greatest allies in this harsh times. With this delicious diet and a few romantic comedies, you will get over your break-up in no time.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )