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What To Do When Your Friends and Your Girlfriend Don’t Gel

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three young people sitting on a couch watching television

There are many reasons why couples around the world struggle to sustain a healthy relationship. A major problem that sometimes crops up is that a person’s significant other just doesn’t seem to like his closest friends. If you are facing the same situation, you have probably had to confront a lot of negative energy from your wife or girlfriend. However, you needn’t think that this situation is beyond redemption. You can still make your relationship work, if you are prepared to take the right steps. 

The Cause May Not Be Your Friends 

If you have just traveled past the honeymoon period of your relationship, what you are facing is pretty common. You need to consider the possibility that your partner is probably reacting to the fact that other things have started to edge their way into your life, which she thinks are pulling you away from her. Your friends may be one of these ‘externalities.’ Perhaps she doesn’t have too many close friends herself, so she struggles to understand your exclusive relationship with your friends. If you think that, at the end of the day, what she is grudging is not the personalities of your friends, but the fact that you may be moving away from her, you need to reassure her that she is mistaken. Even if you can’t spend as much time with her as before, try to make the time you do spend special. 

When She Genuinely Doesn’t Like Them 

Teenage Girl Sitting in a Cafe Looking Bored and Lonely, Her Friends in the Background

Obviously, there is also the possibility that she genuinely doesn’t like certain friends of yours. If that’s happening, you have to accept the fact that she has a right to form her own judgments and impressions, and those could be very different from yours. However, check with her who she doesn’t like and why. You should also tell her why you like them. If you both are open and communicative, you will prevent barriers from forming between you two. 

Making Plans With Her and Friends 

If you perceive that your wife or girlfriend doesn’t like some friends of yours, respect her for that and don’t include her into plans she would rather not be a part of. If you have been pressuring her to share the company of people she doesn’t like, it will adversely affect her mood, and all her grievances will be rightly directed towards your behavior. 

Never Give Up Your Friends 

The one thing you should never do is discard your friends or drift away from them just because your wife or girlfriend doesn’t like them. A healthy relationship can only be sustained when two people are prepared to accept that they both have the right to an independent space for themselves. Your friends are part of that space. The moment you get pressured into giving them up, you will start forming a grudge against your partner, and it will come out in an ugly and hurtful manner in a fight. 

Finally, to maintain a happy relationship with your girlfriend, you need to always remember to communicate clearly. The more you repress yourself, the more difficult it will become to have a calm conversation on the issue. 

BFF Breakups: How To Let Go of a Friend

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By Mary Cope

The bond of friendship can be more rewarding than that of some relationships. It is a rarity to find that special someone who truly gets you. A friend who understands your sense of humor, knows all your secrets and you trust like no other. But what happens when there is a shift in the relationship?  What happens when the one person you thought would always be there isn’t?

Here are some tips for letting go of a friendship:

  • When friends part, there is a void in your life.

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Accept the fact that people change and what was once a true meaningful friendship may not be the case any longer. Maybe you are in a different season of life or the similarities you once shared aren’t there anymore. Whatever the reason, don’t play the blame game, sometimes friends just drift apart. When you recognize and acknowledge you both have evolved into different people letting go and moving forward comes easier.

  • If you need to be angry, be angry.

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In the beginning anger may be the driving emotion you experience but try not to let anger consume you. If you wallow in resentment and hate you will deny yourself the freedom of letting go. You are two people who no longer share the same compatibility. There is nothing wrong with that. Accept your differences and try to remember the good times in the friendship. Know in your heart at one time, you shared a bond and were special to each other.

  • Allow yourself time to grieve.

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Feeling sad this person is gone from your life is normal. Mourn what once was, you are suffering the loss of someone you loved and now, for whatever the reason, they are no longer a part of your world. Grief is a part of accepting loss, without grieving we can’t truly move on.

  • Wish them the best.

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Some friends are only in our lives for a season. Try to remember your friendship in a positive manner. During the time you shared you enriched each other’s lives. Eventually you will come to terms with the friendship being over.   When you can accept the friendship for what it was, you will be able to wish them well.