The Ultimate Single Girl’s Guide To Enjoying Fall

Posted on October 6, 2017 by Jeff

Everyone talks about how the ocean is full of fish after a breakup, whether that was yesterday or last year, and how the winds of change shut a door but open a window. That’s great, but you really don’t care about fishing or crawling out of windows right now.

The winds of change have come with fall, and this season your singlehood is all about you being Lady Robinhood with your band of Merry Leaf Jumpers:

Coffee With Friends + Relaxing Shenanigans

Don your best scarves over fluffy sweaters where the sleeves pull over your wrists as your wrap your hands around warm cups of coffee. Fill the warmth waft over your nose as you taste the cinnamon on top of the foam.

Invite your friends out for coffee, and haunt the coffee shop for an afternoon or evening. Bring supplies for shenanigans, including nail polish, adult coloring books, tarot cards and tabletop board games. Let the fun unfold with girlfriends for the price of a cup of Joe.

Cuddle Up With a Good Book and Mulled Wine

Has your stack of borrowed books gotten too high? When was the last time you sat down and dedicated an afternoon to reading a good book? Make it so.

Let yourself get absorbed in an entirely different world, particularly on a chilly, rainy day, with a glass of mulled wine. What will you read? Is it a dystopian romance between a werewolf and a human detective? Is it a nonfiction book about the lives of the Tudors or Marilyn Monroe?

Mulled wine is typically made from red wine, such as Merlot, and heated up with honey/sugar, cloves, cinnamon sticks, ginger, an orange and brandy. Your mulled wine can be ready in less than thirty minutes, but some recipes call for it to heat slowly for hours, letting the spicy scents fill your home.

Do a Wine Tasting at a Vineyard

It’s fun to relax with friends over a glass of wine at the end of a long week, but why not do a wine tasting at a vineyard? Learn how to properly taste wine with your girlfriends, and enjoy a group meal first to avoid getting a little tipsy and dulling your palate while there.

Small things can also dull your palate and senses when wine tasting, including chewing gum or mints or wearing strong smelling perfume. Dress casual, but avoid couch potato wear, such as yoga pants or sweatpants. When wine tasting, know that it’s okay to sip and even spit your wine out. It seems rude, but many wine connoisseurs sip the wine out to avoid a buzz getting in the way of the taste of wine.

Go Apple Picking

Fall is the season of apple picking, especially October. Look for the closest orchard near you, and get your apple picking baskets ready. There are many kinds of apple varieties, and whoever runs the farm or store at the orchard can advise you which you might like best. To pick an apple, grab at the base and twist — the apple will come right off of the branch.

When you get home, sort your apples together, and choose a recipe to try, such as an apple pie or simple apple slices dipped in homemade caramel.

Don’t forget the bottle of wine you all took home from your vineyard adventure! Prepare a big feast together with an apple recipe for dessert.

Walk a Nature Trail and Watch the Leaves Fall

Fall reminds you of how change happens quickly, with the shifting of the leaves from green to gold and red. The season also reminds you that change happens slowly, as you watch a solitary leaf break away from the branch and drift gently to the trail before you.

Get back into nature to be present in your body. City dwellers are at an increased risk for anxiety and depression, and time and nature does the brain good. Studies have shown that spending time in nature boosts your mood and sense of creativity. Bring your camera or sketchbook and capture the beauty.

Change isn’t always a bad thing. Let the fall season teach you about the beauty of change, transition and ultimately personal transformation.

Scoop up a big pile of leaves on a nature trail and jump inside. Go apple picking. Gather friends for a coffee date and play board games or color. Go to a wine tasting, and make mulled wine at home while you read a good book. Lady Robinhood, your band of Merry Fall Jumpers await your fall call into the wild winds of singlehood adventure. What say ye?

By Kasey at Never Liked It Anyway

9 Ways To Be A Single Empowered Female

Posted on September 29, 2016 by Jeff

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Not all of us are ready to find love, to settle down, or even to meet for coffee unless it’s going to advance our careers. Sure, deep down we’re all dreaming about the day we bring home “the one.”

But right now? Right we want to create a home of our own on our own. Or we want to jump from home to home because we’re not tied down, and we like it that way for now.

Society can make it seem like being single at a certain age means you’re falling behind. As a fellow single woman, I vehemently disagree. Take yourself, for instance. Chances are, you’re a highly motivated, ridiculously passionate, and a bright-eyed young woman with all the potential in the world to change it. Am I right?

Our digital culture can make it a little discouraging to be single when everyone else is getting married and having babies. Yet our culture is also seeing a change – one that supports women going after their dreams and not after diamond rings. We’re seeing our world evolve this way and it’s up to us to grow with it and to make the new “normal.”

Because you’re not falling behind… you’re just falling for the wrong guy.

It’s time to forget societal expectations. It’s time to change the way fairy tales are written – it’s not a matter of erasing the happy ending but changing the way we get to one. For now, focus on being a badass single woman who’s chasing her dreams. Go chase headlines and go change lives. You don’t need a man to do any of it. But what you do need are these 9 tips to help you get there:

1. Travel the world. Travel opens up your eyes and your heart. If anything is going to empower you, it’ll be watching the sun rise in another part of the world. Go with friends or travel solo, either way there’s an entire world waiting for you to discover it, to have an adventure, and to explore.

2. Read about other successful women. Get inspired by badass women that are making a real difference in this world that has nothing to do with who they’re married to – or if they even are. Remember, you can be one of them.

3. Pamper yourself and glam it up. Forget that it sounds silly because there’s no woman out there that doesn’t feel better after going to the salon or getting dolled up. So give in and splurge on the spa (Gilt City always has some great offers) or have GlamSquad arrive before a night out with the girls.

4. Surround yourself with great women. Being around people who make you laugh, support your dreams, and make you want to be a better person is the key to a happy heart.

5. Subscribe to a subscription service. Each month you’ll receive fun surprises that will serve as a reminder to treat yourself and hopefullt be useful in your every-day life. You can try everything from Birchbox to Rocksbox to FabFitFun to SinglesSwag – the options are endless!

6. Spread a message of love. Instead of spreading your lack of a dating life, spread the love. Spread your love of self, of the world, of your family, of your pet, or, hell, even your brand of wine. You never know what it’ll attract from it.

7. Focus on your career. Put absolutely everything you’ve got into following your passions, climbing your ladder of choice, taking risks for a bigger reward, and doing it all without depending on a man. Maybe reading a book would help.

8. Go to networking events. I recently went to a life-changing Creative Mornings talk so I can attest that sometimes external inspiration can be very powerful. Sometimes you need a peripheral push, and there are plenty of other groups too, like SheSays or IVY – all of which I suggest trying out.

9. Give yourself a break occasionally. Enjoy that glass of wine (maybe try a wine of the month club), have a relaxing night in, eat the whole tub of ice cream (especially if it’s Halo Top), and don’t scold yourself for any of it. Indulge because you deserve it.

While some of these may seem a little cliché, when is the last time you actually chose to practice any of them? Instead of jeering at the commonality, try to simply embrace it. You might surprise yourself, you might love yourself a little more, and you might find yourself more empowered to go change your world.

“I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.” –Warsan Shire

From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

Anxious About Being Single In Your 30s? Here’s What To Do

Posted on April 14, 2016 by Jeff

I’d definitely say my last break-up was the most significant in my life so far. That’s an understatement actually. It tipped me upside down, inside out and floored me! I hope to not have many (well, if any more!), but who knows what life will throw at us. My last break-up taught me not to be dependent on the outcome.

I think there’s something that makes break-ups different in your 30s because not only do you have to deal with all the emotional turmoil, you have the added pressure of feeling like your relationship should be the thing you have all figured out by now. I know, I know. We shouldn’t give in to society pressure and all of that, I get it. But when most of your friends are settled down and your Facebook feed is an endless documentation of weddings, babies and baby number 2 and even 3, it’s quite normal to feel a void. It all seems to harshly illuminate what you don’t have.

“I don’t get it – how has she ended up with this amazing husband and family? I don’t know where it went wrong for me”

“I just want someone to share my life with”

“I want someone but I hate dating because I never seem to meet the right people or get hurt!”

…are a few things I hear regularly from 30-something folks who are single and feeling frustrated, jealous and saddened because of it. Like it’s a code they can’t seem to crack. And yep, I’ve felt and thought all of these things too. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others.

But what I’ve come to realize, is that it’s more than okay to want someone. And when you use it as an opportunity to acknowledge what you know you do want, instead of dwelling on what you lack, it can change your whole outlook on the situation.

It’s been tempting in the past to get into something with guys who aren’t a ‘hell yes’ for the sake of settling down. But why would I do that because it’s going to lead to unfulfilment and probably, another break-up, which isn’t really on my agenda if I know I can avoid it! The thing is, other people might have what you don’t have, but you also have what they don’t. You have freedom, you have opportunity, you have the right to be as selfish as you like when it comes to your life, hopes, dreams, desires. You have the freedom to be experimental, you can travel, see friends, you can date to your hearts content or you can throw yourself into your passions and work. You can do whatever you want.

If your ultimate goal relationship-wise is to find a partner to settle with, brilliant! But moping about the fact that you don’t have that now is a sure fire way to ensure that you won’t get it anytime soon. Your energy will be one of lack, urgency and probably settling for the wrong people.

Really, you have 2 choices. Embrace where you are and all the opportunities that presents. Work on yourself. Unravel where you could have gone wrong in past relationships and figure out what you need to do to change that. Become the person you want to be in the relationship you truly want. Don’t seek validation in a relationship or someone else because it will never ever work. (That is a lesson I have definitely had to learn!) Strive for something, strive for yourself. Try new things, go to new places, take risks, be bold. You never know who you might meet and that’s just an added bonus. Hang out with people who are also single instead of focusing all your attention on your coupled up friends. More importantly actually, just be around people who make you feel good and excited or at least enthusiastic about life.

The other choice is to dwell. Feeling what you are feeling is important. It’s needed and it can reveal some cold, harsh truths that might need to be attended to. But dwelling overload is a slow plummet down the rabbit hole of anxiety. It’s like aggravating a wound again and again. It doesn’t heal.

If you are single (at whatever age!) and unhappy about it, that’s ok. It reveals what you want. But don’t waste what an incredible thing it is to be where you are. Friendship, contentment, fun, excitement, romance, passion – it’s all out there right now if you can allow yourself to see it. The relationship will come once you learn to be happy or at the very least, accepting of where you are.

By Laura Yates at Never Liked It Anyway

3 Things You Learn About Yourself After You Stop Dating

Posted on March 17, 2016 by Jeff

You’ve been dating for awhile now and you’re feeling underwhelmed and frustrated to the point where you figure it’s time to take a break. Dating is labor-intensive — the time and energy you invest in it doesn’t always pay off. If you’re thinking about taking a break from romance, it might just be worth your while.

Deciding to stop dating anyone and everyone can be a very positive, productive and reenergizing endeavor for you. Here are three reasons why:

Your Bedroom is a Scared Place

When you set a boundary in your heart and head not to date, it also creates a boundary in the physical world.

One manifestation will be the sacredness of your home and more specifically your bedroom. It is one of the most private and intimate spaces in your life, where you can be your most vulnerable.

You will learn that this is a place to be valued and protected — only trusted people may enter. When you create these boundaries, it can increase your respect for your space and yourself. You will want to honor this small corner of the world that is solely yours. Realizing that your room is your special place and no one else’s will help you in more ways than you can imagine. Think about all those times that you have dealt with some sort of interrupted sleep. Your ex just decided to randomly stop by, drunk, unannounced and is now planning on spending the night. Your last crush wants to spend “quality time” with you so you let him stay the night. These circumstances are not only going to require some deep contemplating in the morning, but interrupted sleep can actually lead to effects such as depression, weakened immune system and even weight gain.

Aint nobody got time for that – especially you! So start fresh. If you want to cleanse the space that is yours, you may want to give it a good clean and smudge the space.

When you decide you want to venture back into the dating world again, you will revere your intimate space more highly. This is enable you to safeguard against people or situations that aren’t healthful or loving for and to you.

Alone is Empowering

It may feel odd at first to go out on your own. That’s because we are so accustomed to needing a companion to attend events.

But if you can venture out solo, you won’t regret it. Besides going to a movie with someone is kind of pointless, you just end up sitting in a dark room, not looking or talking to one another.

Eating out alone is delicious too. People around you aren’t feeling sorry for you, nope they are intrigued by you.

Some people may not even notice you, that’s according to Cornell University psychology professor Tom Gilovich. He says we think we are the center of attention, what he calls the spotlight effect but really the signal we put out isn’t as strong as we perceive it to be. Gilovich encourages us to “recognize that other people are often preoccupied with all sorts of things, including their self-presentation.”

If going out for dinner is too much at first, consider going to places where people are socially “allowed” to be alone like the gym, the library or the coffee shop. Poet Tanya Davis details this beautifully in her poem, How to be Alone.

You don’t need to wait for a partner to do much of anything. You are capable and strong enough to adventure on your own. Solo travel near or far is a great self-esteem booster too.

Your Time is Precious

You only have 24 hours each day plus when you factor in sleep, work and commuting, you’ve really only got seven unclaimed hours remaining. Time is a limited resources as you only have a finite number of hours and minutes to spend. It is one of your most precious possession — more important than money.

When you decide to no longer date, you are opening yourself up to opportunity to better invest your time. You can sign-up for courses and classes or focus on a lapsed hobby. You won’t have to sink any time into dates that don’t go anywhere and you can’t get that time back.

This will also allow you to reconnect with people who truly value you and you them. It is time well spent to visit family and friends. They cherish you, just as you are. You don’t need to try to impress them or figure out what they think about you.

Instead you will be able to relax and revel in your own uniqueness and witness how your quirks are elements of yourself worth celebrating.

Upon reentering the dating world, you will more highly value your time, so if you decide to return to dating you will be more selective with who and how you spend your time, not squander it.

Additionally, you will have a better appreciation of who you are and what you have to offer. You will be able to confidently go on dates and remain true to yourself, not getting swayed by the potential romance.

Dating can be draining and demoralizing at times. it makes sense to take a break from it to allow you to cherish the person you are, the life you’ve built and your loved ones.

Then, if and when you choose to reengage with the dating world, you’ll be more grounded and clear on your goals and expectations. This will in turn allow you to more comfortably and confidently navigate the ups and downs of romance.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

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