If you recently went through a nasty break-up and seriously considered picking up a baseball bat with the words “Hot Sauce” on the side and a canary yellow dress to dance through the neighborhood in, this list was made for you. Unfortunately, Beyonce’s Lemonade was just a music video, and it’s not actually acceptable to walk down the street smashing random car windows (bummer, I know). But truthfully, when it comes down to it, getting revenge on your ex is actually a bit of a science; you want to make them feel like you won at life, and sometimes playing the part of the scorned lover does the exact opposite. And while “lemonading” à la Beyonce is always a tempting and sort of natural response, there are way better things to do that don’t involve destroying private property and getting arrested. So forget the glitter bombs, forget the cardboard dick you can ship to your ex for $9.99 with the message of your choice (still pretty cool ideas, to be honest)…here are 4 better ways to get revenge on your ex that’ll make you a better person in the long run!
1. Make new friends!
Or hang out with the ones you already have, especially if you sort of neglected them when you were in relationship la-la land. We live in a culture that sometimes places more importance and value on romantic relationships than friendships, but some friendships will last longer and be more unconditional than any romantic relationship you’ll ever have. Repeat after me: friends are just as important as boyfriends! Go out dancing, catch a movie…just remember why you fell in love with your friends, and let the good company de-funk you! Nothing will make your ex more annoyed than seeing that you’re out living your life.
2. Work on yourself.
Whether that means starting that workout regimen you’ve put off for a while or eating that damn chocolate cupcake you always deny yourself, do whatever is going to make you feel the happiest and like your best self. Get that crazy haircut, buy all new makeup if you want…or just work on some other aspect of yourself, inside or outside, that you think you could improve. The best revenge is having your ex see that you’re a better person without them!
3. Take a trip!
Even if just for a day, get out of town and go see a place you’ve never seen before. The world is huge and full of potentially amazing life experiences, and sometimes when you get cooped up and trapped in the town of your breakup, you forget that, and then you get stir crazy. That’s when the “Lemonade” thoughts begin! Get away for a while with some good friends and breathe some fresh, different air. If you really want to piss off your ex, Instagram some amazing pics of the trip (but ultimately, you should be posting these pictures for yourself).
4. Rebound…or don’t.
This is one thing that depends on the person. If you feel like finding a rebound will just make you feel worse (or make you actually miss your ex…God forbid), then take some time and enjoy being single, and jump back into the dating pool when you’re ready. But if you’re ready to get back out there already, and you’re not just forcing it to make your ex mad or jealous (although they might be, which is a side perk) then do you! You might’ve started it all off trying to get revenge on your ex, but when all is said done, you might just find that you’ve moved on.
