By Mary Cope
When you’re caught up in the throes of a new relationship the passion between the sheets is intoxicating. That primal, barely controllable, impetuous passion sets the pleasure centers of your brain on fire and you think to yourself, this is awesome!
So why, more often than not, does this desire and sexual intensity eventually stop?
Once the relationship is established, is the honeymoon truly over and if so, can we get
those feelings back?
Communication is the key.
When trust and commitment are established in a meaningful relationship discussing sex
should not be an issue. Communicating your desires should be met with a willingness to be heard and an openness to be transparent. Expressing something you are “into” with your partner should never be received with judgement. This person is opening themselves up to you, stating their likes and dislikes, any type of negative reaction could shut your partner down while making them feel self conscious or bad about themselves. When you allow your partner the freedom to express themselves it opens the door to a healthy sexual relationship.
While some people may find this type of conversation uncomfortable others may find it a
turn on. Whatever the case, discussing sex is necessary. This doesn’t mean you bring up
the subject right before you’re about to have sex, it is better to choose to have this type of
conversation when you’re out of the moment. Although, being verbal during sex is great.
Who doesn’t love positive feedback? Nothing better than hearing, “that feels good,” to
excite you but, when you hear your partner say, “don’t do that, ” nothing takes away the
passion quicker than feeling inadequate. When you are between the sheets, keep things
positive and encouraging.
Listen to one another and compromise. This doesn’t mean you become a doormat taking
part in sexual acts you are uncomfortable with, this simply means you are willing to hear
what your partner has to say reaching a favorable outcome.
And, try not to get hung up on, “should I do this or shouldn’t I?” Whatever is agreed upon
between two consenting adults is acceptable bedroom behavior.
When trust and commitment are at the forefront of a relationship it is than you will feel
comfortable enough to allow your inhibitions to be set free opening yourself up to new
Sex is about intimacy and the connection between two people but it is also about pleasure.
What better way to experience true intimacy than to please your partner in a way they truly enjoy. As each person is an individual so is each libido. Find what works for the two of you, nurture the relationship, communicate your wants and desires and eventually that primal passion you felt in the beginning will come back.