Dear Second Acts;

What do I do with a man who only, I mean only wants oral sex. He wants to give it and get it. That’s it. It all works well for both of us——very well——but, come on, even while flying to the moon I’d like to look into my lover’s eyes once in a while. We hardly ever even kiss each other. I mean on the lips. It feels weird and impersonal. As intimate as these acts are, it feels like he doesn’t actually want to share the experience with me.

Sincerely,

Satisfied Yet Unsatisfied

Dear Satisfied Yet;

You’re right to feel that way. On the positive side, he is giving you sexual pleasure. I’ve heard this same story from poor girls whose boyfriends expect regular service down below without taking responsibility for at least returning the favor. So, at least he’s not one of those selfish oinkers. On the other hand, it’s clearly not enough. I’ve know some men who are insecure about their prowess in bed and avoid intercourse rather than risk being less than stellar at it. It would probably be best for you to have a good heart to heart with him about how much it would mean to you to expand your repertoire and even suggest you do nothing but kiss mouths and look at each other in the eyes for an extended period next time you’re in bed. Then, from there you can build toward a wider variety of possibilities. If he is incapable of chaning change, I’d suggest a sex therapist. If he is unwilling to try, he obviously isn’t interested in your wants and needs and I suggest looking for someone else who is.

Cynthia