If Real-Life Dates Were Like The Bachelor


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TS Bachelor 450442621cropBy Cassie Ciopryna

Getting yourself back out there in the dating world might suck. But hey, at least you’re not on ABC’s The Bachelor. Your dates could be like this:

You’d have to come up with a witty/cheesy/cringe-worthy pick-up line upon first meeting. “Hi, I’m Suzie and I know you’re a pastry chef. I wanted to say you can ice my buns anytime!” *wink* STOP SUZIE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!

You know who this guy is, and that at least 20+ other girls are also having their first “date” with him the same night as you.

You’d have to wear a cocktail dress for your first date.

You hope to get a rose at the end for assurance that he likes you. I mean, a rose? At least make it a sexy flower like a Gloriosa daisy.

You watched him fall in love (most likely) with the last Bachelorette, AKA his “ex,” and loved how he treated her so much you just HAD to get your chance to date him, too. For about 3 minutes until another girl “steals him.” Is this prom? Am I back in high school? Can’t talk to my date anyway so I’ll just get drunk on Pinot while lookin’ like a princess. Wait! Actually, this might not be a bad idea.

If you get said-rose at the end of the date, you know – and live with – all the women he is simultaneously dating. This is basically the same as multiple wives. Which, let’s face it, is weird and gross.

TS Couple Standing-532773205If you don’t get said-rose at the end of date, you drunk-cry in public.

Your whole office of co-workers knows the next day that you had a date that didn’t end well.

Cat-fighting and flirting on repeat is exhausting. And you can’t even go home to your own bed.

Your allotted date time is so short, you have to look for signals, messages and signs of interest like a crazy person. It’s a weird game of what you can discover in 4 minutes and then replay over 4 days’ worth of time.

So suck it up and get out there! It doesn’t seem painful at all now, does it?

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

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