Dating has gotten much harder over the past couple of decades. Just 10 years ago, we didn’t have social media, chat boards, forums, Tinder, and all of the other “hook up” technologies, as well as the unprecedented lack of privacy online that we see today.
Never before in the history of humanity has it been easier to start a new relationship. And never before has it been so easy to bail on that relationship when someone new piques your interest. It’s no wonder dating relationships have become shorter and shorter over time!
What’s a guy or girl to do if they were dumped? Do you have any idea why? Fortunately, there are very common reasons we see repeated as themes.
Why People Get Dumped: The Top Reasons
Leaving your significant other is a pretty big decision, and one that women and men make for different reasons. Rarely will you find that the death of a relationship is mutual. For this reason, it makes more sense to look at how men and women handle breakups separately, because they differ in nearly every way.
Some of the reasons men might dump women:
- When your girlfriend or wife can’t accept who you are and have some “vision” of who you should be, that will always be a problem. A lot of women will think they can get in with you, and then “mold” you into some different person instead of loving who you really are. If you are like most men, you’ll turn tail and run rather than caving to her fantasy vision.
- Having been there before, I can tell you from experience that it stinks to be with a partner who completely loses interest in sex. Most guys will find this completely unacceptable and be ready to break up if it doesn’t sort itself out in short order.
- Have you ever dated a woman who was always pushing for deeper and deeper levels of commitment, even engagement and marriage? Men don’t deal well with that sort of pressure. If he’s ready to commit, he will. If he is not, we have a breakup in the making.
- Guys have a bad reputation among women of having wandering eyes. Unfortunately, sometimes it can actually be an issue. If a guy meets someone he deems superior to his current partner or a better fit, he very well may choose to break up and get with his new love interest.
Some of the reasons women might dump men:
- Early in a relationship, both parties usually show only their best behaviors, opinions, and traits. While that might work for snagging a girlfriend, it won’t work when she later realizes it wasn’t genuine from the start. If a woman decides you aren’t who she thought you were, she will dump you and move on without regret. Be yourself from Day 1.
- Strong women with self respect have no tolerance for being treated poorly. If you speak harshly to her, abuse her, or otherwise fail to treat her as she deserves, you will be looking for a new girlfriend before long.
- Remember what I said about moving on to a better fit? On the flip side, most women won’t tolerate flirting one bit. After enough warnings, most women will simply give up and break up with the guy if he keeps flirting.
- Also the flip side of the pressure argument, if a woman decides a guy is not marriage material, she will eventually lose interest. A woman who pressures a guy and simply stops doing so either had an epiphany or is in the process of giving up, and moving on. Next comes the serious discussion, and off they go.
- Similar to the marriage material point, when a woman decides a guy won’t be a good father, she stops seeing a future with him. That will spell the end of the relationship more often than not.
- Ever had one of those relationships that was absolutely fantastic at first, but later settled into a bored routine? What happened? Did she completely lose interest? If so, she probably left you. That’s how it works. Keep up the passion, or you’ll be moving on one way or another.
- Cheating is a huge faux pas. Very few women will stick with a man who not only flirts and ogles other women, but actually acts on it. Don’t get caught cheating, men, or you’ll be hitting the singles bars again whether you like it or not.
- In the same vein as the “not father material” theme, a lot of women want to see a man who can handle his own bank account and investments. If she decides you’re terrible with finances, some women will walk away to avoid getting caught up in a financial nightmare down the road.
One of the listed reasons is very likely to be the cause of your lost relationship. Some of these you can get past; some you cannot. Regardless of which reason applies, you should try to figure out whether or not you really want to rekindle the relationship in the first place.
Do you see anything in here that you can relate to? Or do you feel you were dumped for some other reason? Are you pushing to get back together? If so, why?
Did you get dumped and are pining over your ex? If you think you might want to get back your ex, be sure you have considered all of the angles before approaching them. You very well may figure out that it is in your best interest to pull up and move on.