By Never Liked It Anyway

Think of a few songs about lost love. Chances are they’re either downbeat confessionals with lots of string instruments or jaunty little numbers that sound completely out of step with their subject matter.

No problem here with the downbeat confessionals-at least until they really start to make you miserable. But the cheerful ones? Those must go.

For example, the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back,” featuring an 11-year-old MJ on lead vocals, is so catchy and upbeat that you wouldn’t even notice it’s a breakup song unless you paid close attention to the lyrics.

Worse still is “Breakin’ Up is Hard to Do.” This is one of the great understatements of the last century, and furthermore it is made through jangly guitars and high-pitched doo-wop vocals that sound so sugary-sweet you’ll go into a diabetic coma.

Let me end on a personal note: A while back, a gentleman caller and I parted ways. He started singing the chorus of “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” and I promise you had a weapon been available, I would be hiding from the cops on some distant island somewhere. It felt patronizing and grating and reminded me of what I call the Friend Paradox, which is the strange phenomenon in which someone tells you they still want to be friends after one of you has just ripped the other’s heart out, soaked it in lighter fluid and torched it. To put it very, very mildly, breaking up is hard to do.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )