3 Things You Learn About Yourself After You Stop Dating

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You’ve been dating for awhile now and you’re feeling underwhelmed and frustrated to the point where you figure it’s time to take a break. Dating is labor-intensive — the time and energy you invest in it doesn’t always pay off. If you’re thinking about taking a break from romance, it might just be worth your while.

Deciding to stop dating anyone and everyone can be a very positive, productive and reenergizing endeavor for you. Here are three reasons why:

Your Bedroom is a Scared Place

When you set a boundary in your heart and head not to date, it also creates a boundary in the physical world.

One manifestation will be the sacredness of your home and more specifically your bedroom. It is one of the most private and intimate spaces in your life, where you can be your most vulnerable.

You will learn that this is a place to be valued and protected — only trusted people may enter. When you create these boundaries, it can increase your respect for your space and yourself. You will want to honor this small corner of the world that is solely yours. Realizing that your room is your special place and no one else’s will help you in more ways than you can imagine. Think about all those times that you have dealt with some sort of interrupted sleep. Your ex just decided to randomly stop by, drunk, unannounced and is now planning on spending the night. Your last crush wants to spend “quality time” with you so you let him stay the night. These circumstances are not only going to require some deep contemplating in the morning, but interrupted sleep can actually lead to effects such as depression, weakened immune system and even weight gain.

Aint nobody got time for that – especially you! So start fresh. If you want to cleanse the space that is yours, you may want to give it a good clean and smudge the space.

When you decide you want to venture back into the dating world again, you will revere your intimate space more highly. This is enable you to safeguard against people or situations that aren’t healthful or loving for and to you.

Alone is Empowering

It may feel odd at first to go out on your own. That’s because we are so accustomed to needing a companion to attend events.

But if you can venture out solo, you won’t regret it. Besides going to a movie with someone is kind of pointless, you just end up sitting in a dark room, not looking or talking to one another.

Eating out alone is delicious too. People around you aren’t feeling sorry for you, nope they are intrigued by you.

Some people may not even notice you, that’s according to Cornell University psychology professor Tom Gilovich. He says we think we are the center of attention, what he calls the spotlight effect but really the signal we put out isn’t as strong as we perceive it to be. Gilovich encourages us to “recognize that other people are often preoccupied with all sorts of things, including their self-presentation.”

If going out for dinner is too much at first, consider going to places where people are socially “allowed” to be alone like the gym, the library or the coffee shop. Poet Tanya Davis details this beautifully in her poem, How to be Alone.

You don’t need to wait for a partner to do much of anything. You are capable and strong enough to adventure on your own. Solo travel near or far is a great self-esteem booster too.

Your Time is Precious

You only have 24 hours each day plus when you factor in sleep, work and commuting, you’ve really only got seven unclaimed hours remaining. Time is a limited resources as you only have a finite number of hours and minutes to spend. It is one of your most precious possession — more important than money.

When you decide to no longer date, you are opening yourself up to opportunity to better invest your time. You can sign-up for courses and classes or focus on a lapsed hobby. You won’t have to sink any time into dates that don’t go anywhere and you can’t get that time back.

This will also allow you to reconnect with people who truly value you and you them. It is time well spent to visit family and friends. They cherish you, just as you are. You don’t need to try to impress them or figure out what they think about you.

Instead you will be able to relax and revel in your own uniqueness and witness how your quirks are elements of yourself worth celebrating.

Upon reentering the dating world, you will more highly value your time, so if you decide to return to dating you will be more selective with who and how you spend your time, not squander it.

Additionally, you will have a better appreciation of who you are and what you have to offer. You will be able to confidently go on dates and remain true to yourself, not getting swayed by the potential romance.

Dating can be draining and demoralizing at times. it makes sense to take a break from it to allow you to cherish the person you are, the life you’ve built and your loved ones.

Then, if and when you choose to reengage with the dating world, you’ll be more grounded and clear on your goals and expectations. This will in turn allow you to more comfortably and confidently navigate the ups and downs of romance.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

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