He Who Shall Not Be Named

Man Body In Summer. Male Relaxing In Pool On Vacation

Dating is dead and hookup culture is ruining modern romance – declares every article on the internet right now. I, for one, can’t speak to what dating was like before a drunken hookup constituted a relationship building block. But I do think every experience is different. It’s true, I’ve called someone my boyfriend before we’ve ever gone on a proper date, and have gone to a stranger’s home before meeting him outside of the digital realm. But I have also been on many a dinner date, and detailed a drink meet up, down to the arrival time, three days prior to said event. So to this romance is dead talk, I would respond that maybe it’s not dead, it is just different. 

What I can speak to, however, with more certainty, is the ancient practice of nicknaming a romantic prospect. My friends don’t know that I ever dated a James. If you asked them who John is they may assume you’re referring to my landlord. And to be honest, I myself barely remember having drinks with a Dan. They do remember: British Boy, DJ Selfie, and Dandruff. There was the Italian, a whole host of “current tinder flings”, and the only time I refer to Tommy by his first name is with a put-on Bostonian accent. 

And this renaming practice, I have it on good authority, is not a unique quirk of mine. “I saw skateboarder today”, a text message from my friend read, which popped up in tandem with one from my cousin, where she referred to a certain “DJ Selfie”. I understood exactly whom each one was referring to in mere moments. After all, for my friend to call him Matt would be much too intimate, considering their fling consisted of one fun night, several chance run-ins, and a few unanswered text messages. 

Much akin to Carrie’s “Mr. Big”, or Miranda’s “marathon man”, nicknames are essential in the early stages of courtship, especially if you suspect feelings may soon emerge. Perhaps, this refusal to call someone by their name is the first move in a fun game I call, “I can’t get rejected if I never try”. Or maybe it would be better characterized as the tipping point between potential and possible, imaginary and realistic. The first few weeks, sometimes months, with a new romantic prospect often live in a realm limited to the cover of nightfall and exclude any outside connections. If my friends are to meet him, then I have to answer to what became of our budding affair, usually in a tear-filled conversation over wine and cigarettes. And if they know his name, the sting of hearing it uttered over a spicy margarita can be just too much to bear when you’re still reeling from an unanswered text message.

I understand that some people may disagree with this practice, claiming that taking away someone’s name is the ultimate in disrespectful acts. But in today’s dating world, where prospects literally lie at your fingertips, you can’t go out there unarmed. A crush can develop unintentionally after just a few hours of conversation, but a name? A name is earned. 

Written By Rachel Ellison

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

Time Again to Celebrate ‘Bad Sex in Fiction’


The year is ending on a grim note for many, whether it’s the tragedy in Aleppo, the Trump transition or the polar vortex. That’s why we need the Bad Sex in Fiction Award right now!

Every year since 1993, the London-based Literary Review has honored an author who has produced an outstandingly bad sex scene description in an otherwise good novel. The purpose of the prize is to draw attention to poorly written sexual description in modern fiction–with the hope that writers will learn to do better.

This year, respected writer Erri De Luca, who has won the 2013 European Prize for Literature, was awarded the booby prize for The Day Before Happiness, in which the Neapolitan orphan protagonist has a penchant for describing erotic moments with wooden (literally) prose such as “My prick was a plank stuck to her stomach” or the rev-me-up “My body was her gearstick.”

woman in bedOf course, De Luca faced tough competition from Leave Me by Gayle Forman, a New York Times best-selling author, and A Doubter’s Almanac by Ethan Canin, teacher of creative writing at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. Canin earned his nomination with this sporty passage: “The act itself was fervent. Like a brisk tennis game or a summer track meet, something performed in daylight between competitors. The cheap mattress bounced.”

Meanwhile, nominee Tom Connolly seems confused about what makes a sex scene hot in Men Like Air: “Often she cooked exotic meals and put chillies or spices in her mouth while preparing the food and sucked him while the food cooked and then told him to f—- her while his manhood was burning rock-hard with fire.”

While The Butcher’s Hook by Janet Ellis earned the judges’ attention with the limp “I am pinned like wet washing with his peg,” The Tobacconist, by Robert Seethaler, waxed philosophical during a BJ: “…for one blessed moment he felt as if he could understand the things of this world in all their immeasurable beauty. How strange they are, he thought, life and all of these things.” Yeah. For more excerpts from this year’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award nominees, see https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/nov/17/bad-sex-award-2016-the-contenders-in-quotes


Katherine Sharma’s family roots are in Louisiana, Oklahoma and Texas. But after her early childhood in Texas, she has moved around the country and lived in seven other states, from Virginia to Hawaii. She currently resides in California with her husband and three children. She has also traveled extensively in Europe, Africa and Asia, and makes regular visits to family in India. After receiving her bachelor’s degree. in economics and her master’s degree in journalism from the University of Michigan, Katherine worked as a newspaper and magazine writer and editor for more than 15 years. She then shifted into management and marketing roles for firms in industries ranging from outdoor recreation to insurance to direct marketing. Although Katherine still works as a marketing consultant, she is now focused on creative writing.

Relationship Advice From Your Favorite ’90s Throwback Songs

Retro music header image

Yes, it’s 2017 and yes, I’m still listening to ‘90s throwback songs. Don’t judge me, okay? The ‘90s were full of boy bands, huge hair and acid wash jeans—what’s not to love? I have a full playlist of all my old favorites that I listen to when I’m getting ready for work or cleaning or really just looking for any excuse to dance around with my toothbrush as a microphone, pretending I’m a Spice Girl (Don’t act so innocent. I know you’ve done it too.)

There’s something about a good ‘90s pop song that fills me with so much motivation, like I can take on anything, almost like if there was a problem, yo, I’d solve it. Their words of wisdom are applicable to so many issues you may face in life, but I find them especially useful in the relationship department.

Here’s a list of advice from the best songs of the decade on how you should approach your love life.

No Scrubs—TLC

“I don’t want no scrubs. A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.”

It’s only right that I start this list off with such a classic empowerment anthem.

Dual Sunglasses Men at Night

Everyone has found themselves in this scenario: You’re minding your own business, probably on your way to go do something badass, when you hear shouting from behind you. It’s that guy you met at your friend’s party who won’t stop messaging you—he’s living couch-to-couch and thinks “sup beautiful” is a romantic way to initiate conversation—and now he’s cat-calling you from a car window. Perfect.

Before you start thinking that it couldn’t hurt to go out on just one date with him, let the wisdom of TLC remind you of your worth.

The Advice: Do. Not. Settle. You hear me, ladies? No scrubs for any of us. Find yourself a partner who has goals, who knows what he wants from life, or at the very least has a job. You deserve much more than a guy hanging out the passenger’s side, trying to holla at you. You deserve a guy who’s going to call you when he says he will, who picks you up for a date he planned, who wants to get to know you. So don’t give that scrub any of your time.

Any Man of Mine—Shania Twain

“Any man of mine better be proud of me.”

Let’s just be honest for a second. All of “Any Man of Mine,” and really any Shania Twain song, is all of the relationship advice you will ever need.

Portrait of a businessman showing thumbs up sign

I’ve been in this situation before: Something fantastic happens to me. I’m absolutely ecstatic and I can’t wait to tell my significant other. I quickly dial their phone number and gush out all of the good news and I’m not met with the reaction I was hoping for. They give a disinterested grunt, or worse, they get aggravated at my success. This is Code Red—abort the mission, get out while you still can.

Before you start conjuring up apologies for reasons you can’t explain, channel your inner Shania.

The Advice: The person whom you are in a relationship with should be proud of your accomplishments. Do not ever feel like you need to change yourself or trivialize your successes for the sake of someone’s self-esteem. I’ve had guys sulk and attempt to make me feel bad for being smart and for working so hard and it was a long time before I realized I didn’t have to make excuses. You are allowed to be smart and successful and it might intimidate some people, but those aren’t the people you need in your life. The right guy is always going to be proud of you, remember that.

Wannabe—Spice Girls

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.”

Tell me if this situation sounds familiar: After listening to your friends drone on and on about how they just need to meet the person you’ve been spending so much time with, you finally agree. You arrange dinner plans and get everyone together, super nervous about these two parts of your life finally merging. You introduce the new beau and everything seems fine at first, but it all quickly goes south. Your boyfriend hates your friends and the feeling certainly seems to be mutual.

Angry friends arguing in a coffee shop

Your first instinct might be defensive. “They’re just jealous,” you might think, “They never like anyone I date.” Before you stage a coup on your friends, give this song some thought.

The Advice: It’s integral that your friends and your partner get along. They are both some of the most important people in your life and, if the relationship is serious, they’re going to be spending a lot of time together. While it’s true that not all personalities were made to mesh, your partner should put in the effort to have a good relationship with them. If he cares about you, he’ll care about your friends.

Side note: If your friends think something’s off with your boyfriend, or they seem to have a problem with him, it’s worth looking at your relationship objectively. Your friends care about you, and they can tell when something isn’t right a lot quicker than you and your rose-colored glasses possibly could. Listen to them.

You learn—Alanis Morissette

“You live, you learn. You love, you learn. You lose, you learn. You bleed, you learn. You scream, you learn.”

What list of ‘90s songs would be complete without a little Alanis Morissette, right?

As we all already know, sometimes relationships, for one reason or another, just don’t work out. There is no sugarcoating the situation: You get in a fight with your boyfriend and after several rounds of screaming fits, one or both of you decides that it’s best if you go your separate ways. So you do—you go your separate way right over to your bed where you feel like you’re going to stay for the next few months, surviving only on wine and the salt from your own tears. You’re done with dating, right?

Sad woman waking up

Before you throw in that proverbial towel, let Alanis guide you to sanity.

The Advice: These things happen, but—excuse my cheesiness—these things happen for a reason. Yeah, it didn’t work out with that guy, but now you know what kind of guy you don’t want to date. You love and then you learn and you bounce back better than ever, one step closer to finding the guy you do want to date.

Survivor—Destiny’s Child

“I’m wishin’ you the best. Pray that you are blessed, bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness. I’m not gon’ blast you on the radio. I’m not gon’ lie on you and your family. I’m not gon’ hate on you in the magazines. I’m not gon’ compromise my Christianity. You know I’m not gon’ diss you on the internet cause my mama taught me better than that.”

The prophets of independent womanhood, Destiny’s Child, will never fail you in your quest for advice.

In the same vein as the last situation, you find yourself in a breakup, but this time, things have taken a nasty turn. You find out that he wasn’t the person you had always thought he was. Maybe he yelled something really hurtful and hate-filled during the final argument, maybe he was bad-mouthing you to his friends, or maybe, god forbid, you found out about another woman. Whatever it was, you now find yourself filled with rage at the thought of how much time you wasted on him.

Woman sitting on mountainside

You have two options in this situation. I know that you want to let your anger navigate you, but before you do something you’ll regret, picture yourself as Beyoncé.

The Advice: I know that you’re angry, and channeling that anger as revenge seems like the best course of action, but you are better than that. If a guy is going to treat you that way, he’s not worth the actions that you’re about to take. Don’t do something that you will immediately regret because you’re heartbroken. It’ll take some time, but throw away all of those grudges and look toward the future. Wish him the best, and move on knowing that there are much, much better things ahead of you. Your mama taught you better than that.

By Kristian Porter at Never Liked It Anyway.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

9 Reasons We’re Glad Santa Isn’t Our Boyfriend

Happy and handsome santa claus

No matter your religion, we’ve grown up with the presence of St. Nick in our lives pretty much since birth. There is no adult man we love more in December as a child than good ol’ Santa Claus. Even as we age, the original beardo is still quite endearing. (Um, hello, haven’t you ever seen The Year Without a Santa Claus?!)

So we can all basically agree that we love Santa Claus. He brings us all together, teaches us how to be cheery and unifies us all at least for one day out of the year. But how would you like to date Santa? It probably wouldn’t be quite as terrific. Why is that, you ask?

1. He calls you a ho all the time. That isn’t cool bro! Never put up with a man who name calls. Even if it might not be “on purpose.”

2. He lives in the North Pole. Ok, yes, some people like seclusion and snow, but the North Pole seems to be quite too much of both of those. Unless it’s anything like the movie Elf and you can befriend a narwhal when visiting, it doesn’t seem worth it (that would be a lot of airline miles though).

3. He has a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Wait…this would be very cozy and cuddle-worthy. Especially considering #2. Ok, this one is actually probably a plus.

4. He needs a wardrobe makeover. Does he wear the same outfit every day? Like yeah, we get it, red is a statement color and powerful for business. But it’s a little outdated and can be revamped, dontcha think?!

Muscular new year man5. He sneaks into houses in the middle of the night. Supposedly this is because he is delivering gifts to those homes, but why so sneaky and at like 2am? Nothing good happens when you are going over someone’s house at that hour, and this just might create trust issues.

6. Too many late night munchies. What is creating this hunger so late at night that others must feed him? And shouldn’t he eat some veggies and protein along with all those sweets? I mean, he can at least save some of those cookies for his boo. Especially if it’s that time of the month on Christmas.

7. He’s a workaholic. How is he supposed to cuddle you with his jelly belly when he works until wee hours of the night? You can’t even spend Christmas Eve together, and the rest of the year he’s spending preparing for this big one. What about your birthday? Anniversary? He’s probably working on gifts for everyone else. Which leads to #8…

8. He’s closer with his elves and reindeer than with you. How can he have time for your relationship when he’s busy tending to his 9 reindeer and kicking it with the elves in the workshop? And shouldn’t he have some friends his own age?

9. He’s married. This should’ve come up earlier but we almost forgot—he already has a Mrs. Claus. We’ve heard the song about a kid seeing their mommy kissing Santa Claus so we shouldn’t be surprised about his wandering eye, so don’t be another side piece for this supposed saint. You’re better off without him.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

7 Reasons Some Women Think They Won’t Find Love

Sad girl is holding heart symbol by her finger

No one should ever give up on finding love, it doesn’t matter if you are sixteen or one hundred and sixteen there is still the possibility of finding love and embracing it. Sadly, many women have been hurt and are afraid of falling in love again; they may have been searching for love with no success and have now reached the conclusion that they will never find lasting love again, these are the reasons why this can occur:

1. Hurt

When you are in a relationship you put your all into it and expect it to last forever. If the romance in marriage or in a relationship fails you are left disenchanted and emotionally hurt. You may well blame yourself for the failure of the relationship and even feel that you do not deserve to find love again. All of these factors are simply a way of dealing with the failure of the relationship and the hurt which goes with it. By deciding you will never find lasting love, you are protecting yourself from the hurt of a future failed relationship.

2. The Real Issue

In fact, falling in love is easy, what really worries the women who think they will never find love again is the idea of falling in love with the wrong man, again. Unfortunately they do not know of any other way to fall in love or even meet men; instead of trying an alternative solution they simply give up on the concept of love in marriage.

3. Awareness

Couples Dancing And Drinking At Evening Party

Sometimes a relationship ends because your partner has changed and they have moved on; other times it is simply because you were an incompatible match. It is often the case that women are attracted to the classic bad boy and this kind of relationship is not good for them. However, it is natural to repeat the cycle and you keep having failed relationships because you always go for the same type of guy. This can lead anyone to giving up on love. The end of a relationship is a perfect opportunity to take stock of yourself, your personality, your likes and dislikes and, most importantly, what you want and need from a relationship. You will then be able to work out the right type of man for you and chase the right bloke.

4. The Lesson

Many women feel that they are failures after their relationship has broken down, particularly if it was a long term one. However, the lesson to learn is not that other women are more attractive and worthy. It is better to realize that something was wrong with the bond and welcome some relationship advice; review your past relationships and you will realize there are one or two factors which are responsible for the breakdown of all these relationships. If these factors relate to you and the way you deal with a relationship then you can do something about it!

5. Giving Up

It is easy to try a new relationship and then give up, bemoaning the fact that you will never have a lasting relationship again. However, it is normal and helpful to sample different relationships and learn what works for you. You will never have the same relationship which you had with your old partner, but you can have a better one! The trick is to keep trying; no matter how many times you fail you will learn something each time and, eventually, find the right one to stand up for unforeseen relationship problems and work with you to fix them.

6. Sending Out a Message

If you have given up on men you will, unknowingly, send a message out which tells men to stay away. This means the majority of men will do that, the only ones who will approach are those who see you as a challenge; a way to build their ego. These men are after the chase and not love and marriage; it provides another opportunity to engage in the wrong relationship and believe you will never find love.

7. Believing they don’t want to love again

Couple fun in the city

Many women give up on love because they think they do not need it and will never find it again. This is actually a reaction to the break-up and not something that will last long term. At some point you will want to love again and you must believe that this is a possibility. Instead of believing it is not possible you should look to how you can make it better next time.

Women don’t believe in long-lasting love because they don’t want to get hurt. They’re afraid to open up. Truth be told, if there’s communication in relationships, we can all be happy. We just have to dare and take that leap of faith.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

The Top 5 Foods To Increase Your Mood After A Break-up

Close-up of a young woman lying on the bed in front of a laptop

As we all know, breaking up with your partner causes one of the worst types of pain. All of a sudden, every little silver lining is gone without a trace, and it seems like all hope is lost. This hopelessness is what makes break-ups seem unbearable.

Parting with your significant other is a traumatic event for your body, that generates a cascade of organic effects. In fact, the sudden drop in serotonin is responsible for your awful mood. While it is commonly referred to as the “happiness hormone,” serotonin is actually a neurotransmitter that has a significant effect on our general mood.

So it makes sense that boosting your serotonin level is the perfect way to help ease the pains of your break-up. It wont make your heartache disappear, but every little bit helps. And it’s pretty easy to make some changes to your diet. Especially if those changes involve incorporating foods that help increase your serotonin levels naturally. Here are five of the best to load up on right away.

1. Carb-Rich Foods

Fresh tasty breadCarbohydrates are essential for boosting your serotonin levels. There’s a reason that pizza tastes so good! However, they have an indirect action in the metabolism of serotonin. A carb-rich meal will increase your insulin levels. This means your blood levels of amino acids will become very low because most of them will be stored in the muscles.

The amino acid tryptophan, which is the main precursor to serotonin, is not stored in the muscles. It can actually cross the blood-brain barrier without having to compete with other amino acids and become available for serotonin production.

The best way to make carbs work in your favor is to have at least one carbohydrate-rich meal a day. So eat as much bread, pizza, and cookies as you want because they will actually make you feel better. To maximize the effect, you must also include tryptophan-rich foods in your diet. We will tell you all about these right away!

2. Nuts and Seeds

nuts and seets

Nuts and seeds can do wonders for your body. From helping you get rid of chapped lips to boosting your brain activity, nuts can help you maintain a healthy lifestyle. In fact, almondspeanutssunflower seeds, and pumpkin seeds are also an excellent source of tryptophan, which makes them excellent for your post break-up diet. Include these delicious treats in your diet to help boost your serotonin levels naturally.

3. Yogurt

Bowl of fresh mixed berries and yogurt

Yogurt and other fermented dairy products like kefir and soured milk are rich in natural probiotics. While it might seem odd, serotonin is mostly found in the gut. As such, optimizing your digestive process is extremely important for the serotonin metabolism. Add some fruit and nuts to your yogurt, and you will get a healthy treat that will actually help you get over your break-up blues.

4. Fish

Sushi Nigiri with fresh salmon and Maki roll

Fish is yet another valuable source of tryptophan, so it is essential that you add it to your diet. Oily fish such as salmontuna, or sardines are your best choices because they are also rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which will also contribute to the process.

To get the best results, you should have your fish meal before thecarbohydrate-based one. This will ensure that your body already has all the tryptophan it needs for the serotonin. Keep this in mind when planning your meals for the day, and you will start feeling better in no time!

5. Dark Chocolate


No post break-up diet is complete without chocolate. And it seems that there is a very good reason why this is helpful. Dark chocolate is rich in theobromine, which is a natural compound similar to caffeine, as well as tryptophan. This makes it one of the best foods you could have for your serotonin-boosting diet. So have as much dark chocolate as you want because it can do wonders for your health!

These five foods can actually make a difference in your mood after a break-up because they will actively help you increase your serotonin levels. Eat as many carbs and chocolate as you want because they are your greatest allies in this harsh times. With this delicious diet and a few romantic comedies, you will get over your break-up in no time.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

Spring Break Behavior We Should Incorporate In Everyday Life


By Regina Gosney

Spring Break is that time of the year no one is exempt to looking forward to. Even if you’re a full-time employee and aren’t given a week off to take shots and work on your tan, it’s still a magical time of the year that we can all appreciate. Perhaps there’s hot college guys that come to vacation in your town, your friends from out of town come to visit, or maybe you look forward to the new happy hour specials and bikini sales. There’s so much to love about Spring Break, we’ve asked ourselves, why shouldn’t Spring Break last forever? To promote the “Spring Break forever” ideology, we’ve come up with a list of Spring Break Behavior we should incorporate in everyday life.

Don’t roll your eyes at this one, hear me out. I understand how many annoying frat boys you’ve seen with a neon YOLO tank on out on the beach, but it’s actually a great mantra when applied to life correctly. No, it doesn’t mean take 10 shots and do the keg stand, because YOLO; it’s about doing the things you’ve always wanted to, but have put off for whatever reason. Ask the hot guy out at the bar, travel to Belize, take a scuba dive tour, because YOLO. That’s what it’s about.

Being Health Conscious
The month before Spring Break is kind of like the month after New Year’s–the population at the gym triples. Suddenly, everyone is hitting the gym trying to make something happen that probably won’t in that short amount of time. Instead of all this nonsense, we should have a consistent workout routine in our everyday life.


Having A Carefree Attitude
When we’re on Spring Break, there are minimal concerns. Perhaps the only time we spend worrying is if we’re getting tan lines or what margarita we’re going to order at the Cantina. Why shouldn’t we worry less in everyday life?

Saying Yes To Social Outings
A lot of the Spring Break mentality is all about going out and being around people. Even the most introverted people seem to come out to play. Why wait for Spring Break to be social and go out to dinner with a group of friends?

Applying Sunscreen
How many older ladies have you met that tell you their one concern in life was not wearing enough sunscreen? When we’re out on the beach, it’s obvious, but everyday activities like going to the farmer’s market or taking a morning jog should yield the same response.


Making Your Time Count
When you’re only given a week off, you’re going to make sure you take advantage of every second off you’re given. This mentality should translate as much as possible to our everyday lives. Just like Spring Break, our lives are only allotted so much time.

Staying Hydrated
Experts say you should be drinking half your body weight, in ounces of water each day (140 lbs = 70 oz of water). We’re reminded of this when we’re out in the sun or drinking alcohol, but we really ought to be more intentional with our water consumption in everyday life.


Awareness Of Your Surroundings
Going out to a new city requires a heightened sense of awareness of your surroundings. You go out to the bar at night and are required to know your way back to your hotel, know which floor to take the elevator to, and know which door your room key opens. How many times, in everyday life, do we go out, get a few drinks, and realize we have no idea what street we’re parked on, or even which direction is home?

Source: Never Liked It Anyway

3 Things You Learn About Yourself After You Stop Dating


You’ve been dating for awhile now and you’re feeling underwhelmed and frustrated to the point where you figure it’s time to take a break. Dating is labor-intensive — the time and energy you invest in it doesn’t always pay off. If you’re thinking about taking a break from romance, it might just be worth your while.

Deciding to stop dating anyone and everyone can be a very positive, productive and reenergizing endeavor for you. Here are three reasons why:

Your Bedroom is a Scared Place

When you set a boundary in your heart and head not to date, it also creates a boundary in the physical world.

One manifestation will be the sacredness of your home and more specifically your bedroom. It is one of the most private and intimate spaces in your life, where you can be your most vulnerable.

You will learn that this is a place to be valued and protected — only trusted people may enter. When you create these boundaries, it can increase your respect for your space and yourself. You will want to honor this small corner of the world that is solely yours. Realizing that your room is your special place and no one else’s will help you in more ways than you can imagine. Think about all those times that you have dealt with some sort of interrupted sleep. Your ex just decided to randomly stop by, drunk, unannounced and is now planning on spending the night. Your last crush wants to spend “quality time” with you so you let him stay the night. These circumstances are not only going to require some deep contemplating in the morning, but interrupted sleep can actually lead to effects such as depression, weakened immune system and even weight gain.

Aint nobody got time for that – especially you! So start fresh. If you want to cleanse the space that is yours, you may want to give it a good clean and smudge the space.

When you decide you want to venture back into the dating world again, you will revere your intimate space more highly. This is enable you to safeguard against people or situations that aren’t healthful or loving for and to you.

Alone is Empowering

It may feel odd at first to go out on your own. That’s because we are so accustomed to needing a companion to attend events.

But if you can venture out solo, you won’t regret it. Besides going to a movie with someone is kind of pointless, you just end up sitting in a dark room, not looking or talking to one another.

Eating out alone is delicious too. People around you aren’t feeling sorry for you, nope they are intrigued by you.

Some people may not even notice you, that’s according to Cornell University psychology professor Tom Gilovich. He says we think we are the center of attention, what he calls the spotlight effect but really the signal we put out isn’t as strong as we perceive it to be. Gilovich encourages us to “recognize that other people are often preoccupied with all sorts of things, including their self-presentation.”

If going out for dinner is too much at first, consider going to places where people are socially “allowed” to be alone like the gym, the library or the coffee shop. Poet Tanya Davis details this beautifully in her poem, How to be Alone.

You don’t need to wait for a partner to do much of anything. You are capable and strong enough to adventure on your own. Solo travel near or far is a great self-esteem booster too.

Your Time is Precious

You only have 24 hours each day plus when you factor in sleep, work and commuting, you’ve really only got seven unclaimed hours remaining. Time is a limited resources as you only have a finite number of hours and minutes to spend. It is one of your most precious possession — more important than money.

When you decide to no longer date, you are opening yourself up to opportunity to better invest your time. You can sign-up for courses and classes or focus on a lapsed hobby. You won’t have to sink any time into dates that don’t go anywhere and you can’t get that time back.

This will also allow you to reconnect with people who truly value you and you them. It is time well spent to visit family and friends. They cherish you, just as you are. You don’t need to try to impress them or figure out what they think about you.

Instead you will be able to relax and revel in your own uniqueness and witness how your quirks are elements of yourself worth celebrating.

Upon reentering the dating world, you will more highly value your time, so if you decide to return to dating you will be more selective with who and how you spend your time, not squander it.

Additionally, you will have a better appreciation of who you are and what you have to offer. You will be able to confidently go on dates and remain true to yourself, not getting swayed by the potential romance.

Dating can be draining and demoralizing at times. it makes sense to take a break from it to allow you to cherish the person you are, the life you’ve built and your loved ones.

Then, if and when you choose to reengage with the dating world, you’ll be more grounded and clear on your goals and expectations. This will in turn allow you to more comfortably and confidently navigate the ups and downs of romance.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

Dating In The 21st Century: Good vs. Bad Signs


By Regina Gosney at Never Liked It Anyway

The civil and technological advances our culture has seen have revolutionized the way we date. The world we live in today is vastly different than the world of our parents, our grandparents, and so no doubt, the dating world is changed. The things we experience in the dating world have to be analyzed through the lens of the 21st century. Here are five elements of dating, indicating a relationship is either rocking hard to Zeplin, or rolling downhill fast.

Social Media

Good: You’re not embarrassed by his Insta feed, nor by the last rant he posted on FB about people who drink Decaf coffee. This guy has some respectable profiles. He tags you in funny videos and pics that are actually funny and not another cat video.
Bad: You’re constantly having an inner debate as to whether you should up your stalker level and check his past likes (Did he really just comment on this girl’s photo? What the hell is that emoji supposed to mean?) He posts Kate Upton as his WCW. Gag me with a spoon.


Good: You are completely satisfied with the frequency of texts you’re receiving. It’s not too many, like that one creepy coworker who somehow got your number, but it’s not too few either. Bonus: You find yourself rereading old messages for absolutely no reason, just to put a smile on your face.
Bad: He may be blowing up your phone and sending you way too many texts, or not enough. You may be finding yourself constantly checking your phone, wondering if he’s texted you back yet. Nope. Asshole. You delete the text conversation in your messages just so you don’t have to be reminded of the texts you aren’t receiving from him.

Planning a Date

Good: You’re planning your next date (to include a cute picnic at sunset and your fav art museum), but only because he planned the last one. Also, though you both have busy schedules, you’re still able to find time to squeeze in a date with one another. Priorities, girl.
Bad: Either he won’t let you plan anything because he’s some type-A control freak, or you’re having to plan everything because he just doesn’t care. Neither of those are any good in a relationship. Or, he keeps blowing off the planned date for bullshit reasons. Well, you have zero time for bullshit so… adios.

Paying the Bill
happy couple with bank card and bill at restaurant

The date is going well. The waitress soon comes around and drops off the leather bi-fold booklet containing the bill. Moment of awkwardness.
Good: Whatever makes you feel most comfortable. If he insists on paying, and you’re into that. You let him, and you thank him graciously. If you want to go in halves, and he’s good with that, awesome. If you want to pay for it, he lets you, sweet.
Bad: He’s insecure or demanding or what-the-hell-ever and insists on doing it his way. Whatever, brah.

Time Spent Together

Good: You are content. More than this, you feel stimulated and excited to be with him. He gives you a new perspective on life and values you for who you are as a person.
Bad: You’re re-browsing through your Insta feed, either because he always is, or because he drives you to that level of boredom. You’re back at your place after your date and you’re feeling so unfulfilled. Bad sign.


Why Changing a Tire Is Like Bad Sex

TS-509116181 Changing Tire

By Cassie Ciopryna

Mundane, not so fun tasks can sometimes remind us of another particular activity that (should be) fun. We’ve looked at how the dentist can remind us of bad sex—and now we’ve got another one for you. Changing a tire? Bad sex? I mean, we really don’t see the difference here…

  • You have no clue what you’re doing. We’ve all been there at some point. Wait, where does this go? I have to put my finger where? How do I get this thing off? So many questions. And you just want to get it over with.
  • You work up a sweat. Did I plan on exercising today? It’s like 80 degrees and no A/C on. This is turning to be quite the ordeal and very unexpected. I’d rather go back to bed, or sit in my car.
  • You don’t have all the tools you need to get the job done. What’s the thing called that jacks up the car? And what’s that you say you need in order to get off? Well, I don’t have either of those.
  • You feel like you’re being judged. Ok people, yup, just drive by me all alone clueless on the side of the road. And please, don’t look at me this way when I’m down here. Is this working at all? Yes? No? Some sort of hint please!
  • Undercarriage. That’s the only word I need to say here. It’s probably not really necessary when changing a tire, but again, what’s going on?
  • You might have to call someone for assistance. AAA, a good friend, the person next door. . .hey, who knows who might come in handy here! Sometimes you have to do what you think is best and will work out for you in the long run. Just tap me out, please. I’m done.

TS-124819038 Bad in Bed

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )