BFF Breakups: How To Let Go of a Friend

By Mary Cope

The bond of friendship can be more rewarding than that of some relationships. It is a rarity to find that special someone who truly gets you. A friend who understands your sense of humor, knows all your secrets and you trust like no other. But what happens when there is a shift in the relationship?  What happens when the one person you thought would always be there isn’t?

Here are some tips for letting go of a friendship:

  • When friends part, there is a void in your life.

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Accept the fact that people change and what was once a true meaningful friendship may not be the case any longer. Maybe you are in a different season of life or the similarities you once shared aren’t there anymore. Whatever the reason, don’t play the blame game, sometimes friends just drift apart. When you recognize and acknowledge you both have evolved into different people letting go and moving forward comes easier.

  • If you need to be angry, be angry.

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In the beginning anger may be the driving emotion you experience but try not to let anger consume you. If you wallow in resentment and hate you will deny yourself the freedom of letting go. You are two people who no longer share the same compatibility. There is nothing wrong with that. Accept your differences and try to remember the good times in the friendship. Know in your heart at one time, you shared a bond and were special to each other.

  • Allow yourself time to grieve.

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Feeling sad this person is gone from your life is normal. Mourn what once was, you are suffering the loss of someone you loved and now, for whatever the reason, they are no longer a part of your world. Grief is a part of accepting loss, without grieving we can’t truly move on.

  • Wish them the best.

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Some friends are only in our lives for a season. Try to remember your friendship in a positive manner. During the time you shared you enriched each other’s lives. Eventually you will come to terms with the friendship being over.   When you can accept the friendship for what it was, you will be able to wish them well.

Biggest Television Break-Ups: Couples We Never Liked Anyway

 

rossrachelBy Brianna Porter
There is nothing worse than watching two characters of a show (that you’re totally obsessed with, by the way) cruelly ripped apart by the writers before their relationship even flourishes. The thing is, the writers love the are-we-still-friends, when-do-I-get-my-stuff-back drama that can fill at least a few weeks’ worth of episodes. That’s because viewers really eat it up. For many, it’s easy to relate to and may even be a source of comfort, the “Been there, done that” kind of thing. But when you’re emotionally attached to a TV couple, as I’m sure everybody has been at least once in their life, it’s just cruel. So here’s a list of the biggest break-ups on television that we will pick apart until we have fully convinced ourselves that we really never cared for them, anyway.

 

1. Ross & Rachel — Friends

rossrachel2This Friends couple was easily in the running for cutest couple on the show, next to Chandler and Monica, of course. What wasn’t cute, though, was the amount of times they went back and forth in their relationship. Our weak Rosschel hearts couldn’t take much more of it. In the end, they got back together, but who is to say this time is the last? You burned us, writers!!

2. Buffy & Angel — Buffy the Vampire Slayer

buffyangelBuffy and Angel were literally polar opposites that ended up sorta/kinda dating. They eventually hooked up, which led to the inevitable release of Angel’s inner demon. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? We just wish we weren’t put through the emotional strife in the first place . . . you had one job, Buffy! You should have just killed him!

3. Nick & Jess — New Girl

nickjessFrom episode one, it was easy to predict that these two would end up together. One could argue that it is our fault that we believed a relationship from the get-go would be endgame, but we would rather argue that the whole show just plain sucks. Rebut that!!

4. Chuck & Blair — Gossip Girl

chuckblairThe only thing less fun than this couple’s unforgettable break-up scene is their relationship name: Chair. Still, Chuck and Blair seemed meant to be up until this point, and even after they mended things, that reasonable doubt stuck around, leaving viewers with weary hearts.

5. Piper & Larry — Orange is the New Black

piperlarryIf we’re entirely serious about any of these couples, it’s this one. While at first we could sympathize with Larry and his situation, the conclusion most viewers have come to is this: Larry is an ass. We’re Team Piper & Alex, anyway.

 

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

 

The Feng Shui of Breakups

BreakupBy Annabel Acton

Breakups are a pretty destructive force. But like any form of destruction, they leave space and opportunity to recreate, reinvent and renew. New friendships, new patterns, new experiences and new lives. I started the website neverlikeditanyway.com to help accelerate the moving on process. The website works like an eBay for breakups. You basically sell all the stuff you’re left with when a relationship ends. It was designed to be cathartic, positive and proactive — basically, everything breakups aren’t!

We have some people selling some meaningful stuff — like an engagement ring set for the reasonable breakup price of $6,000. “I thought I had found my prince charming, but it turns out he was looking for a mom not a princess.”

We also have people selling some strange stuff, like a bottle of ketchup for a grand total of $1. “I just don’t like the stuff and now that he’s gone, it’s perfectly reasonable to assume his stuff should also go.”

I had a feeling in my bones that it was a sensible idea. I mean, why would you want to hang on to souvenirs and reminders of a love lost? However, I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Dana Claudat of the Tao of Dana. She’s an inspirational expert in Feng Shui and helped explain, in a more articulate manner, why selling breakup baggage is a good idea.

Dana made a real and clear connection between our physical surroundings and our emotional state. This was the first time this had really made sense to me. She explained it simply and beautifully.

Your space is a mirror of your life. During a breakup, there is usually a period of review: “Why did this happen? How did I create (or allow!) this to happen? And the answer to that life review, more extensive than a few questions, can be found in your space.

She then went on to explain that how we dress our spaces is often a reflection of what’s going on with our lives. Whatever energy we create through our spaces, we replicate in the real world.

A person who dwells in fantasy (and fantasy relationships) often has a very airy-fairy, ethereal sense of space and may need more heavy objects and solid colors and even an area rug to create a sense of being grounded and more physically present.

Or you may find that you are living with tons of clutter in your space and you have, similarly, attracted a partner who has chaos in some ways. Clear that clutter for yourself and keep it clear. You will find far more clarity in keeping your space free of obstacles.

While this might sound a bit tricky to get your head around, if you really think about it makes sense. For most of the objects in my house, I can tell you a little story about them. Some are positive stories and reflections of who I am and where I am headed. Others are more binding, restricting and reflect a time in my life I’m happy to have moved on from. Yet they remain in my house. And therefore in my psyche.

“When you clear out the old, you stop constantly triggering yourself and sticking in this emotional energy pattern of the past,” Dana says.

Clearing out and selling these souvenirs of your old life, and your old love, feels like a necessary step towards healing and moving on. Not doing so almost seems like going swimming with clothes on. You’re just making it harder for yourself. The great thing about this way of thinking, is that it has application well beyond breakups. When you think about who you are and where you’re headed, it’s important to clear the way for what you want to grow into; not reflect a past that perhaps is weighing you down.

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Annabel Acton is the founder of Never Liked It Anyway — a place to buy, sell and tell all things ex (as in exes) so you feel better faster. Going strong since 2012, it’s a fun, pro-active and positive way to move on from those dreaded breakups we all go through. Annabel is a creative strategist, entrepreneur, innovator and globe trotter. With her Never Liked It Anyway project, she’s committed to finding new and exciting ways to help people get back to fabulous.