You’ll Never Believe How I Met My Boyfriend!

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From the July 1982 issue of True Love Magazine

I found love when I least expected it…

It wasn’t exactly the exciting social life I had dreamed about when I’d made the decision to move away from home to a big city. I guess I thought I’d be going out with handsome, exciting men and having the time of my life. Instead, I worked hard at my secretarial job all day, only to go home to my apartment all by myself.

I knew I had been lucky to get this job, since I’d only taken high school secretarial courses; but my boss said I looked like a hard worker, and I was eager to learn. The salary was pretty good, and I had managed to find a small apartment within easy commuting distance to work.

Thinking about commuting brought me back to the present. If I kept daydreaming, I’d end up staying all night. I finished the letters and placed them on Mr. Thompson’s desk, then quickly grabbed my coat and purse. Unfortunately, it had started to rain just as I got outside, and I didn’t have either a hat or an umbrella. Naturally, my bus decided to be a few minutes early, and I wound up standing in the rain for another ten minutes before the next one came.

The weather was so miserable, I considered not getting off to go to the grocery store, but my growling stomach won that fight. I got off the bus and realized that the rain was starting to fall harder than ever. I shopped quickly, selecting only a few items for dinner, and then walked the block and a half to my apartment house.

I started to dig in my purse for my apartment key, when I noticed that my door was slightly ajar. I didn’t understand. I knew I would never have forgotten something as important as locking my door.

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I pushed the door open and dropped my grocery bag in horror and shock. My neat, tidy little apartment looked like a tornado had hit it! There were books and papers scattered everywhere.

I ran across the room and found the window open, with the screen torn off. The small television set that had been my graduation present was missing, and so was the stereo system that I had saved for all summer.

I picked up the phone with trembling hands and dialed the operator. When she came on the line, I asked for the police and when I reported what had happened, they assured me that someone would be over immediately.

Once I’d hung up the phone, I didn’t know what to do next. I knew better than to pick up anything before the police arrived, yet I hated to leave my belongings scattered on the floor. Finally, I decided to make myself a cup of instant coffee to try and calm myself. I had just finished stirring it, when there was a pounding on the front door. I jumped up quickly, almost knocking the coffee over.

In the doorway stood a police officer, and I felt a little bit more secure. “Are you the young woman who reported a burglary?” the officer asked.

“Yes,” I replied, my voice trembling. “Please, come in.”

He walked in, took a look around, and shook his head. “Looks like they messed the place up a bit, huh?”

I smiled at him, and I noticed for the first time that he was really very good-looking. “What was taken?” the officer asked, opening his notebook.

“My stereo, a television set. . . . ” My voice trailed off and he looked up in surprise.

“Nothing else?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’ve been so upset, those were the only things I noticed.”

The officer turned to me, and I could see a look of sympathy in his eyes. “You’re really upset, aren’t you?” he asked. “Look, why don’t you just sit down for a minute and we’ll talk. For starters, my name is Mike Ryan. What’s yours?”

“Judy Winters,” I replied. “Thank you for being so understanding about all this, It’s just that I never expected to have this happen.”

“No one ever does,” Mike replied. “And it can be very upsetting, especially to someone who lives alone. Do you have anyone that could stay with you tonight?”

I shook my head, “No. I just moved here two months ago, and I don’t really know anybody I could call.”

To my surprise, I found myself telling Mike all about myself and my family. He listened sympathetically as I explained why I had moved away and how different it was from what I had expected.

“Well, I’m afraid this kind of incident isn’t going to help your outlook any,” Mike said with a smile. “Now, if you feel like it, we’ll take a look around and see what’s missing.”

Together, we looked through the apartment. I found that my camera, one of my rings, a clock radio, and a jar of coins I had been collecting were missing. Mike wrote everything down, then asked for the serial numbers. Fortunately, I had written those down and I gave them to him.

“Now we’d better check your front door,” Mike said. “I have the feeling you’ll need a locksmith.”

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“I don’t understand why the front door was open if they came in through the window,” I said.

“They came in through the front door,” Mike explained. But burglars usually leave a window open for an escape route, in case they hear a noise or someone walks in.”

“Oh,” I answered. “It sounds so—so organized.”

Mike laughed. “Well, they are somewhat organized,” he replied. “it’s probably somebody who’s been watching the apartment building for a couple of days to see when people come and go.”

“Watching me?” I asked, scared.

Mike shrugged. “You and others, I imagine. They probably walked through the halls and figured out who was home and who wasn’t. Still, you’re lucky you didn’t surprise someone. You should never enter an apartment that’s been broken into. Next time, call from a neighbor’s.”

I shivered. “That makes me feel terrible,” I said. “Do you think they’ll come back?”

“It’s not ‘very likely,” Mike answered with a reassuring smile. “They got what they came for, and they won’t want to risk being caught by coming hack a second time.”

“How’s my lock?” I asked.

“That’s beyond repair, I’m afraid,” Mike replied. “I’ll call your landlord and tell him to get a locksmith here right away. He should also fix your screen and put on some window locks for extra security. With a basement apartment like this, it’s easier for burglars to break in.”

“I appreciate all the help,” I said gratefully. “I’m glad you’re the one the station sent.”

Mike gave a deep laugh at that and I noted again how handsome he was. “This is my beat,” he explained. “So if you need any more help, just give the a call. I’m badge 231.”

Once Mike had gone, I felt nervous and tense again. I busied myself putting away the groceries and straightening up the apartment. Suddenly, everything seemed too much for me to handle. I sat down in the living room and began to cry. I had never felt so alone and scared in my entire life.

I don’t know how long I was crying, but suddenly there was a loud knock on the front door. I peered out and saw that it was Mike. I wiped my face quickly and tried to put a smile on my face as I opened the door, but I didn’t fool him.

“You’ve been crying, haven’t you?” he asked gently.

I nodded. “I guess I’ve been feeling sorry for myself.”

“You’re entitled to a little self-pity,” he replied. “It’s been a rough night.”

“Why did you come back?” I asked. “Is there something you forgot?”

“Well, no, not exactly,” he replied. “You see, it was my dinner break anyway, and I got to thinking about you being here alone, and. . . . ”

I stared at him in amazement, before I could think to answer. “That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard of,” I said at last.

Just then, the locksmith arrived, so while Mike instructed him on where to put the new locks, I set about preparing a simple meal of spaghetti and salad. Before Mike had arrived, I had completely forgotten how hungry I was. Now, the thought that I wouldn’t have to eat alone brought back my appetite full-strength.

The food tasted delicious to me, but I knew it was because I enjoyed talking to Mike so much. When he began telling me stories about his childhood with his five brothers, I laughed so hard tears coursed down my face.

“Now, that’s definitely better,” Mike said approvingly. “You’re very pretty when you’re happy.”

I looked down, thinking how strange it was that after all that had happened that day, one little compliment could make me feel so happy.

“I guess I’d better get back to work now,” Mike said, pushing back his chair.

“Thanks for dinner, and remember, if you need anything at all, just call the station. They’ll let me know.”‘

After he left, I took a long, hot bath and then went straight to bed. I thought I would have difficulty sleeping, but instead, I fell right to sleep. In fact, I slept so soundly, I didn’t hear the alarm go off the next morning. When I realized how late it was, I called the office. Ruth, the receptionist, answered.

“Ruth, it’s Judy Winters,” I said. “I’m afraid I’m going to be late today. My apartment was robbed last night, and I overslept.”

“Robbed?” she repeated. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” I replied. “But my apartment’s not.”

“Take all the time you need,” she said sympathetically. “I’ll tell Mr. Thompson.”

I hung up the phone and felt oddly pleased. I had thought Ruth was so cool and sophisticated, yet she had been sincerely concerned about what had happened.

I took a little time to clean up the apartment, but I managed to make it to work by ten-thirty. When I came in, everyone gathered around me and pressed me with questions. They all thought I had acted very bravely and made me promise that if there was anything I needed, I would let them know. Ruth and Carol, one of the secretaries, insisted on taking me out to lunch, and Debra, from accounting, invited me over for dinner the following week. After work, Mr. Thompson offered me a ride home and accompanied me inside to make sure everything was in order. For a girl who’d thought she had no friends in the city, I was doing well.

Because I no longer had a television set, I had to find new ways of entertaining myself at night. The first night, I rearranged the entire apartment and hung up some bright posters that I had purchased weeks before.

The second night, I decided to experiment and ended up making whole-wheat bread. I had never made it before, and I felt so proud of myself when I saw those crisp brown loaves coming out of the oven.

Each day seemed like more fun now, because I felt like I had friends to share things with. Although I wasn’t as close to them as the friends I had left at home, I knew that in time I could be. I realized now that I hadn’t given other people much of a chance to be my friends.

The third night, I had just gotten home from work and changed into old clothes, preparing to do the laundry, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Mike standing there. It took a moment for me to realize why he looked different, and then I saw that he wasn’t in uniform!

“You’re wearing normal clothes,” I blurted out in surprise.

Mike laughed. “I don’t wear my uniform when I’m off duty.”

“But if you’re off duty, then why are you here?” I asked, puzzled.

“This is a personal call,” Mike said. “I didn’t come here for police business.”

“You came to see me?” I asked.

“Yes—unless you’re hiding someone else in here,” Mike replied with a grin.

“Oh, please come in,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking.”

Mike looked at the pile of dirty clothes. “Looks like you’re getting ready to do laundry. Would you like some help?”

“Sure,” I replied happily.

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And, so, strange as it sounds, that’s exactly what Mike and I did. After we’d put the laundry in, we ordered a take-out pizza and shared a bottle of red wine. We laughed and kidded each other as if we’d been friends for years.

At the end of the evening, Mike took me in his arms and held me tightly against him. I snuggled closer, feeling secure and happy in his embrace.

“You’re a very special lady,” Mike whispered to me. “I’m almost happy your apartment was robbed because I got to meet you.”

I tilted my face up for the kiss that I knew was coming, and it was every bit as good as I’d hoped.

Since that night, Mike and I have been dating steadily. We’ll be getting married in about six months, and I’ve invited everyone in my department to the wedding.

The police never did catch the burglar who ransacked my apartment; but, in a strange way, I’ll always be grateful to whoever it was. The robbery brought me a new outlook on life—and a life with the man I love!

 

Common Problems Within a Marriage

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No marriage is perfect. If a couple claims that theirs is, then it’s more than likely that one or both are not being honest with themselves or their partner. This can seriously damage a relationship, in both the short and long term. Part of being human is that we experience emotions and we experience problems if our needs are not being met. How you handle these problems in a relationship is crucial as to whether or not you’ll have a healthy marriage.

Mobile phone addiction

Lack of Communication.

Poor or little communication is the most common problem and is at the root of 99% of relationship issues. Perhaps you feel your partner is not interested in you or you have nothing in common anymore, so you don’t bother discussing what’s going on in your life  anymore. It could be that you have started living separate lives although you share the same home.

When married couples stop communicating and don’t talk about any underlying problems openly and honestly, things begin to fester and resentment sets in. All relationships needs nurturing. That means taking the time to ask your loved one about their day and their feelings about things and making the effort to share about yours.

Betrayal concept

Jealousy

There are many couples where one or both don’t trust their partners even with no factual foundation for jealousy. It could be you or your other half who’s insecure but the relationship can quickly become toxic if steps aren’t taken to take control of it.

It will help if you talk things through and find a way to understand what is driving any insecurity and help you work past the lack of trust. It’s not about attributing blame it’s about understanding both of your perspectives. Each party need to feel safe and secure in a marriage and that can only happen if both sides show understanding and acceptance.

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The Passion Has Died

Passion within a relationship can diminish if you allow it to. Keeping passion alive takes hard work and effort, but it is worth it. That means doing new and exciting things, exploring your sexuality, challenging each other, thinking of new ways to give and receive pleasure. This is great for your mental health too and makes you a more relaxed person and someone who is great company. When you and your partner spend more time with each other and remember the things you love about each other, things can get back to normal even if you’ve started experiencing boredom and intimacy issues in your marriage.

Marriage problems can only be avoided or resolved if you decide to do something about it.

What To Consider Before Living Together For the First Time

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Often, in a thriving relationship, there comes a time when you both realize there’s a better way to manage your living arrangements. No more buying a second toothbrush for his place or making closet space for his work clothes at yours. That is the critical point when the only sane and sensible solution is to move in together.

Easy, you might think, we’ll just find a place we both like and take it from there. However, living together is more demanding than you might imagine, so take a rain check on packing your bags and plan some time to think through the significant challenges you’ll be facing. If you’re already sharing a rental apartment together, this might be the moment you decide to buy your first home together.

Location, location, location

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Your arrangements might mean your current homes are relatively close to each other, which is, of course, a good thing because you may be able to find something suitable in the immediate neighborhood that won’t add too much to your commuting time. If you’re already living some distance apart, however, you’ll have to reconsider.

Besides the daily commute, it’s sensible to map out facilities that might be important to you in the future. Will your new home be convenient for local schools, for example, and are the area safety statistics positive and encouraging? If you or your partner do a lot of work from home, might a rural location be a better alternative to a downtown dwelling?

Whatever your situation it’s important to talk things through thoroughly with your partner. That way, you’ll avoid any misunderstandings and will enjoy a shared vision of your future together.

Money matters

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Let’s say you’ve arrived at the solution regarding your ideal location, then the next thing you need to consider is your joint budget. That is a very important factor because if you view and fall in love with a property that turns out to be beyond your means after purchase, it could lead to very severe financial consequences, not to mention a fair amount of heartbreak.

Aim to get pre-approved for a first-time buyer mortgage as a way to judge if your buying power stacks up. Your lender will calculate for both you and your partner:

  • The amount of any debts you have
  • Your credit history
  • Your gross income
  • The level of your down payment.

Those elements will help to determine the price range for any property you plan to buy.

Once you’ve identified one or more suitable properties take the time to make sure they have been inspected thoroughly, so that any potential defects or hazards are flagged up before you sign on the dotted line. When you’re satisfied that everything is as it should be you can then proceed to purchase with confidence.

Financial development

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After buying a property, it pays to keep saving in case of any unexpected maintenance issues that might arise. Better still, include in your home budget the facility to protect your new property and its systems, such as electrical and water supplies, as well as any appliances you own. Having made such a substantial investment in your new home, you owe it to yourself and your family to look after it. If you purchase a homeowners’ warranty, you’ll have made a failsafe choice that delivers a vital homeowners’ resource.

Just as you might save for college for the kids, put money aside to regularly maintain and update your home. Items do get worn out and it’s easier on your weekly outgoings if you also have a little something put by for minor, unexpected expenses.

Emotional investment

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As well as investing in the handsome property you and your partner or family will be sharing there is also the matter of making a psychological gear change to adapt to living together in your new home. When you’re living solo or with a friend you develop your own way of doing things, so you need to be ready to adjust to joint or family life, to agree the house rules and keep to them, and to be tolerant of each other’s little foibles.

A good example is agreeing how you will split monthly, daily or weekly chores, such as grocery shopping, paying bills or doing laundry. Who will balance the checkbook and who will take out the recycling? Work together to iron out any household issues in advance and, if a problem occurs, deal with it promptly. With a perfect property, a balanced budget and emotional equilibrium you will be set for a fair shot at happy ever after.

Source: Never Liked It Anyway

Does Marriage Kill The Romance in The Relationship?

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As a wise man once said, “Problems are not stop signs; they are guidelines.” This can’t be truer than in the case of marriage.

During the initial phase, marriage might seem like a bed of roses. One thinks, what can be more fulfilling and satisfying, than spending the rest of your life with the one you truly love? However, as a couple strolls down the lane of life, all the initial love and romance tends to get lost somewhere down the way. As soon as the honeymoon period ends, the couples come face to face with the harsh realities of life.

While on one hand you have to earn the bread and butter for your family, you also have to make sure to fulfill all the duties you owe towards your loved ones. From your parents to children, everyone looks up to you as a couple to fulfill their financial as well as emotional needs. In order to make everyone around them happy, the couples often tend to compromise on their own personal time together. As a result, in a short amount of time they become distant from each other. Love tends to take a back seat and romance becomes non-existent.

Romantic couple holding hands together over candlelight

So is it true when people say that marriage kills the romance in a relationship? No, that is defiantly not the case. While marital commitments often tend to keep a couple busy, they are not the ones responsible for degrading the romance in a marriage. The couple always needs to remember that love and romance are the very basis of a happy marriage. Hence, there are a few things that one can do in order to keep the romance in a marriage alive:

 

  • Sweet and small gestures: you do not need to make an elaborate show to remind your husband or wife that you love them. You can keep the romance alive by doing small gestures like leaving stick on notes on their cupboards, office bags, refrigerators etc. expressing your love to them. You can go a step ahead by preparing their favorite meal, or giving your spouse a surprise gift or flowers.
  • Marriage dating: Marriage dating is one of the finest ideas to keep your married life alive and kicking. Take your spouse out on a date, just the two of you. Spend some quality time together, doing your favorite things. Relive your courtship period. Nothing can be more romantic and de-stressing for you as a couple.
  • Appreciate and respect your spouse: your husband or wife need and deserve your respect. Make sure to thank them for the efforts that they put in in order to keep your lives running and happy. This small gesture will surely increase their love for you.
  • Express your love: though you both know that you love each other, still it is important for you as a couple to express you love. Never miss a chance to tell your husband or wife that you love them. By merely saying “I love you” every day, you can make your spouse fall in love with you over and over.

 

Romance in a marriage never gets lost. However, it is up to you to rediscover it and keep it alive. All the best!

Moonlight Drive: A Wild Ride You’ll Never Forget!

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The car sputtered, coughed, and then with one final gasp, died. I coasted it to the side of the dark, country road and slammed it into park. Now what do I do? I asked myself. It was almost midnight, and I was stranded all alone, surrounded by nothing but soybean fields. Darkness abounded, and there were no lights on the horizon. There was only the star-filled sky and I, feeling foolish and afraid.

I popped the hood, wiggled a few wires, whispered a prayer, and hopped back into the car to give it another try. I held my breath, fighting back tears, while I turned the key. Come on, baby, I begged. Start! It sputtered and promptly died. Just my luck.

My options were few. My cell was dead, so I could either walk in the dark and risk being eaten by wild animals, or I could wait until help came down the lonely road. The coward in me chose the latter. Clint wasn’t expecting me until the next afternoon, so at least he wouldn’t be worried.

My visit to my parents’ home was cut short when I decided to return home a day early. Even after a year, there was still too much tension between my sister and me. Although Shannon is engaged to Nathan, she still blames me for stealing Clint away from her. When the jabs got too sharp, I lashed back. “Maybe if you weren’t such a bitch to him, he wouldn’t have come my way!”

I was tired of defending Clint. Clint and I were having disagreements lately, but he was still my boyfriend. I threw my bags in my old Junker and said my goodbyes. “Sorry, Mom,” I apologized. “I really do have a lot of things to do at home. How about you and Dad visiting us? We do have that sofa that folds out to a bed,” I reminded her.

I was glad to get away. That way, I wouldn’t have to deal with my spoiled, rotted, diva-of-a-sister, who acts like she still wants Clint back. Actually, it was Shannon who cooled the romance. She wanted to keep her options open. One option in particular was Nathan, now her fiancé. What really hurts is that I suspect that Clint is still harboring feelings for Shannon, even though we’ve been together for a year.

I can remember that fateful night, when Clint stopped by to pick up my older and much prettier sister. Shannon left no more than ten minutes earlier. “If Clint calls, tell him I’m working late,” she told me. “I’ll be home at ten; I’ll call him back then.” Then she hopped into Nathan’s new car and headed out for dinner.

There was no way that I was going to lie to Clint, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that his girlfriend is a cheat. “Gosh, I just got here myself.” I boldly flirted with him when he called. “Why don’t we grab a bite and check and see if she’s still at work?”

“Sure; I’m starved,” he quickly replied.

“Let’s go to Mario’s,” I suggested. In my one-horse town, there’s only one real place to have a good meal. I knew that Shannon was there with Nathan, and I couldn’t wait for Clint to see for himself what a cheat Shannon is. I smiled to myself as we pulled into the parking lot. Sure enough, there was Nathan’s car.

As we waited to be seated, I casually took hold of Clint’s arm. I caught Shannon’s eye from across the room. She looked like she couldn’t make up her mind whether to kill me on the spot or slide under the table with shame.

Clint also saw Shannon sitting there with Nathan. That is the moment that any feeling he had for her died, he told me later. I could feel his icy demeanor as we walked to our table. Her name was not spoken once that night. Clint acted as if I were the only woman on the planet. Holding my chair as I sat down and reaching across the table to hold my hand, Clint made me feel special. I knew it was all a show for Shannon, but I didn’t care. It was about time that I got some attention.

He asked me back to his apartment and I went willingly. He poured some wine and lit candles. I kicked off my shoes and curled up on the couch as Clint put on soft music.

Close-up of young couple with champagne about to kiss“You are so sweet,” he whispered, his fingers trailing down my neck. Dizzy from the wine, I seductively leaned back, allowing him to slowly unbutton my blouse and fondle my breasts. He kissed me fiercely and I responded likewise. I slipped my hands under his shirt, caressing his toned abs. I unzipped his jeans, releasing his strong erection. He moaned as I went down on him.

Fighting for control, Clint pulled me to my feet and led me to the bedroom. Our clothes dropped to the floor. His hands sought out my body, his fingers dipping into my wetness. His lips felt hot as he sucked my breasts. His mouth over mine muffled my cries of pleasure as he thrust deep into me. You belong to me now, I thought as he exploded in me.

Two weeks later, he got a job in the city and asked me to go with him. I never hesitated. Even though he made no promises or pledged his love, I packed my bags and went willingly.

I estimated that I was about forty miles from the city. I made it halfway at least, I thought. If I can just get to a phone, Clint can come for me. Ahh, my knight in shinning armor, save me!

About an hour later, I spotted headlights. What appeared to be a car turned out to be two motorcycles. They roared up beside me and stopped when they saw the hood of my car up.

“You need help?” the bearded biker gruffly asked.

Cautiously, I rolled the window partly down. “It died on me,” I told him.

The two guys poked under the hood while their leather clad girlfriends leaned against the bikes, smoking. “Turn it over,” the biker barked. The car made a feeble attempt, but would not start. “You out of gas?” he growled.

“No, I have half a tank,” I answered through the window crack.

“Then it must be the fuel pump. Nothing I can do. You need a tow truck. I’ll call when I get home.”

“Thank you,” I said timidly.

“Don’t thank me. I’ll call, but don’t expect anyone before morning. You going to be alright?” he asked, his tone softening slightly.

“I’ll be okay.”

They roared off and I was relieved to be alone again. I locked the door and settled back, pulling my jacket tight around me. I guess I’m going to be here awhile. The starry sky was spectacular. I picked out a lucky star and made a wish. Please help Clint and me work out our problems. And then I added, or give me the courage to move on.

A bit later, I saw a single headlight as it came over the knoll toward me. Don’t panic, I told myself, double-checking the door locks.

It was the younger, silent biker; he showed up alone. “I don’t feel right about leaving you here alone,” he started.

“Oh, I’m okay,” I tried to assure him.

“There’s a truck stop on the main highway. You can wait for the tow truck there.”

It made sense, but still I hesitated.

“I promise I won’t hurt you,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

I climbed out of my car and glanced warily at the motorcycle. It looked intimidating. The moon illuminated the polished chrome while masking the color. I guessed it was black, maybe blue. “I never rode on a motorcycle before,” I stammered.

He laughed. “All you have to do is hang on.”

He handed me a helmet. My fingers fumbled with the strap.

The young biker stepped close and pulled the strap tight under my chin. His eyes were as dark as the night and ebony stubble covered his strong jaw. He mounted the bike, reaching around to pull down the foot pegs. “Just like riding a horse.” He smiled for the first time.

I tentatively put my left foot on the peg and swung my leg over the seat. My arms encircled his slim hips. The potent smell of his leather jacket filled my senses as I took deep breaths to calm myself.

“All set?” he asked. I nodded and with a push of a button, the bike roared to life. I didn’t have a clue if my body was trembling or if it was just the vibrations from the bike. There was no doubt, though, about the racing of my heart. “Hang on,” he called over the rumblings as he put the bike in motion.

He started off slow, but then he hit the next gear, and I was thrust backward. That’s when I wrapped my arms even tighter around him and hung on for dear life. I peeked over his shoulder and saw the lines on the highway flash by in the headlights. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to stay calm. I concentrated on the wind as it tunneled around his body, whipping my long hair.

Much to my surprise, I was beginning to enjoy this wild ride. I leaned into his slim body and let the vibrations surge through me and the cool, night air flow around me. I was tingling all over with excitement. All too soon, we were turning at a neon sign that flashed OPEN ALL NIGHT.

“Wooo!” I exclaimed. “That was fun!” Under the glare of the parking lot’s lights, I could finally take a good look at the beautiful bike that I just rode. It was midnight blue with delicate, silver flames flowing wildly over the tank. The black, leather saddlebags were adored with silver conches. “Your bike is gorgeous,” I gushed.

“Thanks,” was all he said, but he smiled. I liked the way the corners of his dark eyes crinkled when he did. “Let’s get some coffee. You can make your calls, too.”

The solitary waitress motioned us to a booth. Knowingly, she brought us two cups of steaming coffee when she dropped off the menus. I took a sip of coffee and excused myself to go to the ladies’ room. “I’ll be right back.”

I dragged my fingers though my long, mousy hair. Hopeless, I thought. I pulled it up into a quick chignon. That’s one way to deal with the tangles. I dug some change from my pocket and dialed my home number on the payphone. One-thirty in the morning; I bet Clint is sleeping. It rang six times, and then the machine picked up. I hung up. I dropped another quarter in the slot and redialed. “Pick up, Clint,” I whispered under my breath. The phone was on the nightstand—no way could he sleep through it. I’ll try again later.

I slid into the booth, suddenly embarrassed. “I’m sorry. You’ve been so kind and I don’t even know your name.” I blushed. “I’m Sonya.”

He took the hand that I offered, giving it a two-handed squeeze over the table. “They call me Dice.”

“Is that your name?” I asked, puzzled.

“It’s more a warning than a name.” He laughed. “With me, it’s always a gamble. By the way, I went ahead and ordered. You looked hungry.”

Dice looks like a man who naturally takes charge. He has a bold tattoo of tribal feathers around his bicep that told me he’s unconventional. “Thanks, Dice.”

The waitress winked at Dice as she set down bowls of vegetable soup. A delicious aroma filled the air. Suddenly, I was famished. Cheeseburgers followed, the plates heaped with golden French fries.

Dice listened quietly as I nervously rambled. “I don’t know why Clint’s not answering the phone. I’ll try again in a few minutes.” Chances were, he was out with his friends again. Whenever I asked about his whereabouts lately, he got defensive. I quit asking and caring, but I still wondered where and how he was spending his time.

“I called the local garage,” he told me. “The message said they don’t tow on Sundays. And a tow from the city will cost more than that car is worth.”

He had a point there. “What should I do?” I asked.

“I can take you home tonight and your boyfriend can figure that out,” he bluntly stated.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Personally, I didn’t mind another ride, but Clint isn’t very handy mechanically and would likely be angry to have to take care of my car troubles.

“It’s no problem,” Dice said. “I live in the city. I’m headed back.”

“I’m sorry about messing up your weekend. Will your girlfriend be mad?” I asked thoughtfully.

He shook his head and I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. “Tracey’s not my girlfriend,” he protested. He paused and then admitted, “At best, our relationship is toxic. For Tracey, the road goes on forever and the party never ends. I can’t live like that.”

I nodded my head sadly. Toxic, harmful, destructive, poison—those words can describe my relationship with Clint these days. Where is he tonight? I asked myself for the hundredth time.

Changing the subject, I asked, “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a drug and alcohol counselor. I work mostly on the reservation,” he said.

“You must find that very rewarding.”

“Not when you can’t help the ones you love the most,” he whispered sadly.

I waited until the waitress walked away after refilling our coffee, and then asked, “You want to talk about it?”

“I grew up on the reservation. My mother is Native American, and my father’s white. She died last month from liver failure caused by alcoholism.”

“I’m sorry,” was all the comfort that I could give. I could sense the helplessness of the situation, but I was at a loss for words.

“Let’s move on to a happier subject,” he said. “What do you do in the city?”

I smiled. “I work for a neurotic artist. I’m her office manager slash assistant. Mostly, I make herb tea for her. Caffeine makes her crazier.”

He laughed in a genuine, warm manner. “What were you doing in the middle of nowhere?”

“I had to escape the insanity for a few days,” I lied. I was really running from Clint. The bickering had become unbearable. “I went home to visit my family. It got sort of crazy there, too, so I started home a day early. That road cuts fifteen miles off the trip, I’ll have you know!”

“You have a big family?” he asked.

“Just my mom, dad, and one sister,” I told him. “Shannon and I don’t get along that well.” I went on to tell him briefly of the rift caused by Clint. There I was, pouring my heart out to a perfect stranger; you would think that I was one of Dice’s clients by the way I opened up to him.

“That’s too bad. Nothing should come between family,” he said. Then, in a nonjudgmental tone, he said, “Clint used you as much as you used him. No one wins in those situations.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” I agreed. The one thing that Clint and I have in common is the drive to get even with Shannon. That’s what kept us together. I admit that I do have a lot of guilt for the way that I went after him in the first place.

“Listen to your heart. You can’t change the past, but you don’t have to live with mistakes,” he told me with conviction.

I smiled, a burden lifted. Dice, letting me talk, let me come to my own conclusion. I needed to resolve my differences with my sister. If that means dissolving my relationship with Clint, so be it.

“Ready for another ride?” Dice asked, giving my hand a squeeze.

“Sure.” I grinned back at him. “I live off Jackson Avenue,” I told Dice as we walked to the bike.

“I know the area; just let me know when to turn,” he said.

I shook my hair out as Dice handed me the helmet. He tightened the strap, and then, cupping my chin in his hand, he lightly kissed me. This time, I didn’t hesitate climbing behind Dice. It felt so right. I wrapped my arms confidently around his slim waist as we set off down the highway.

The normally bustling city appeared to be asleep in the Sunday A.M. hours. The streets belonged to only us as we turned down my street. I tapped his shoulder and pointed to my apartment building. Dice pulled in and cut the engine. I scanned the parking lot for Clint’s car; it wasn’t there.

I removed the helmet, shaking out my hair. Dice’s eyes met mine as he took the helmet. “Are you going to be all right?” he asked.

“Clint’s not here,” I told him.

Dice took hold of my arm. “I’ll walk you in.”

Silently, Dice followed me inside the building and waited as I fumbled with the key. Protectively, he stepped into the darkened apartment and switched on the light. Glancing around, I noticed a few items missing. Then I spotted the note, lying on the coffee table. My hands shook as I opened it.

Dear Sonya,

I’m sorry, but I can’t go on living this lie. We were never meant to be together. I used you and I’m sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I will be by later this week for the rest of my stuff.

Clint

I handed the note to Dice and sank slowly to the couch. He read the note and handed it back to me. “I’m sorry. Do you want to be alone or should I stay?” he asked, reaching out to me.

Like a moth to a flame, I went to his arms. “Tonight, I made a wish on a lucky star.”

Couple of lovers on motorbike

4 Ways To Get Revenge On Your Ex Without Going Crazy

Figures of couple from paper and scissors.

If you recently went through a nasty break-up and seriously considered picking up a baseball bat with the words “Hot Sauce” on the side and a canary yellow dress to dance through the neighborhood in, this list was made for you. Unfortunately, Beyonce’s Lemonade was just a music video, and it’s not actually acceptable to walk down the street smashing random car windows (bummer, I know). But truthfully, when it comes down to it, getting revenge on your ex is actually a bit of a science; you want to make them feel like you won at life, and sometimes playing the part of the scorned lover does the exact opposite. And while “lemonading” à la Beyonce is always a tempting and sort of natural response, there are way better things to do that don’t involve destroying private property and getting arrested. So forget the glitter bombs, forget the cardboard dick you can ship to your ex for $9.99 with the message of your choice (still pretty cool ideas, to be honest)…here are 4 better ways to get revenge on your ex that’ll make you a better person in the long run!

1. Make new friends!
Young people taking a selfie while eating pizza

Or hang out with the ones you already have, especially if you sort of neglected them when you were in relationship la-la land. We live in a culture that sometimes places more importance and value on romantic relationships than friendships, but some friendships will last longer and be more unconditional than any romantic relationship you’ll ever have. Repeat after me: friends are just as important as boyfriends! Go out dancing, catch a movie…just remember why you fell in love with your friends, and let the good company de-funk you! Nothing will make your ex more annoyed than seeing that you’re out living your life.

2. Work on yourself.
Clients hair is being reconditioned.

Whether that means starting that workout regimen you’ve put off for a while or eating that damn chocolate cupcake you always deny yourself, do whatever is going to make you feel the happiest and like your best self. Get that crazy haircut, buy all new makeup if you want…or just work on some other aspect of yourself, inside or outside, that you think you could improve. The best revenge is having your ex see that you’re a better person without them!

3. Take a trip!
Traveler looks at landscape

Even if just for a day, get out of town and go see a place you’ve never seen before. The world is huge and full of potentially amazing life experiences, and sometimes when you get cooped up and trapped in the town of your breakup, you forget that, and then you get stir crazy. That’s when the “Lemonade” thoughts begin! Get away for a while with some good friends and breathe some fresh, different air. If you really want to piss off your ex, Instagram some amazing pics of the trip (but ultimately, you should be posting these pictures for yourself).

4. Rebound…or don’t.
Romance in a restaurant

This is one thing that depends on the person. If you feel like finding a rebound will just make you feel worse (or make you actually miss your ex…God forbid), then take some time and enjoy being single, and jump back into the dating pool when you’re ready. But if you’re ready to get back out there already, and you’re not just forcing it to make your ex mad or jealous (although they might be, which is a side perk) then do you! You might’ve started it all off trying to get revenge on your ex, but when all is said done, you might just find that you’ve moved on.

Source: Brianna Porter from Never Liked It Anyway

Why It’s Totally Normal To Lose Yourself In Love

dog rests gently on his master's shoulder while looking view

“The only person you should ever fear losing in a relationship is you yourself.” – Miya Yamanouchi.

So, here I am… two years out of a relationship and still single as a dollar bill. And while I’d like to think that I am putting myself out there, I’m not. I haven’t had the slightest crack open for a relationship to find it’s way in. This is not because I’m horribly heart broken. It’s not because I would prefer to have a significant income rather than a significant other. And it’s certainly not because I have commitment issues, daddy issues or any other “issue” that can be chalked up to living the single life. Single is not an issue, my friends. Single life is EVERYTHING. It’s a powerful stage to make headway in your life. It’s a time to fully and finally (!!) invest in you.

I am single because I’m focusing on a whole lot of whatever the fuck I want, and none of what I don’t. I’m working towards the dreams that make me nauseous with excitement and taking time to evaluate what I want in life with as little outside influence as possible. And to be frank, I’m being selfish. I’m choosing myself, by myself, for myself.

Again, SINGLE LIFE IS EVERYTHING.

(Until you realize it’s not).

The truth is that what is underneath all the cheerleading for single-dom is fear. Yep, straight up FEAR. I’m fearful that I will lose myself in loving someone else (again). The pattern is all too familiar.

You know the ones. Before their relationship, they roar with excitement for the things that make them come alive. They are full of high hopes, big dreams and outrageous ambitions. They push fearlessly towards their goals. They make time for their friends, their family and their community because they want to build their life in good company. They do spiritual work, take on new hobbies, and frequent the edges of their comfort zone to discover and reveal in the unknown. They workout to the point of exhaustion, not to look good for anyone else, but to know that they were responsible for creating that incredible pump inside their chest all by their damn selves. They buzz with enlightenment and insight and all the good things this world has ever given someone.

…and then love hits.

Love comes in and life’s ambitions take the backseat. It’s not intentional, and it’s certainly not something that is easy to see but then suddenly the person they were before the relationship is a long-lost ideal of who they are in the relationship. The love blinders are on and they are coated in the blanket of this new lustful existence.

Sweet couple in love spring sunny dayAll their beautifully directed attention towards their dreams turns towards their lover… and they pause. Time stops. Their big lofty goals are no longer in sight. They move from vision boards and ladies retreats to Saturday nights in, week after week, after week. They are in love, and they have stepped away from showing up for themselves.

And here in lies the problem.They lose themselves in loving someone else. 

They are so busy creating a life for their person that they forget to create a life for themselves. Their ambitions take a backseat in the name of “love”. Suddenly life doesn’t feel so uncomfortable if you never achieve those dreams… because, well, love. Everything is better in love.

The comfort of your lover ties you over when you’re having a bad day. The flowers they brought home slap a band-aid over the deep restlessness you experience in life. And with this band-aid on you can no longer see the holes you were desperately seeking to fill.

But the reality is that those holes are still there. They may just not be as blatantly obvious as they were when you didn’t have someone to come home to. In single-dom you had to face those discomforts head on. You had to work to overcome them. You were responsible for making yourself feel better. You, alone, by yourself. But in love… naw. You can push the uneasiness under the rug for a bit longer.

It takes work to be who you really are when you’re mending two worlds together. It can be confusing, and messy, and wildly compromising. It can also be beautiful, and exciting and deeply intentional. But if you don’t keep pushing to fuel your passions and dig up your holes, you will keep looking for anything else (everything else) to take their place. Love included.

We’ve all heard it before. Good, healthy relationships are not about completing each other, but being two whole self actualized beings choosing to share your love with each other. You’re not looking to the other for anything. You already have everything you need inside of you. You are responsible for that self-love. They are responsible for theirs. It’s about supporting each other in their respective dreams and wanting them to be as big and bright as they possibly can be. That, my friends, is love in the most basic form.

Because love is always the answer. Love yourself (foremost), love those around you (fearlessly) and love and acknowledge the stage you are in. Keep your intentions on being the best version of yourself you can be. We all deserve a little (lotta) self-love to make this world a happier, healthier, more supportive place.

Written By Emilie Talermo

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

 

My St. Patrick’s Day Romance

Retro couple

My St. Patrick’s Day started like ever other day. I awoke in my small, dreary apartment to the sound of my leaky bathroom faucet dripping slowly. I sighed and then I crawled out of bed and put on my green-colored clothes because it was St. Patrick’s Day. I pinned a small, round button on my sweater which said, KISS ME I’M IRISH! I was only going into the office, but I thought maybe Charles would notice it, and that old spark of excitement would return to his eyes.

I grabbed a container of strawberry yogurt, and headed out the door. On the first floor of our building, I literally ran into my neighbor, Jack Diehl. He was coming out of his apartment reading a book as I hurried by, trying to eat my breakfast on the run. Neither of us saw the other until it was too late.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, as I tried to catch my tumbling container of yogurt.

After reaching down to pick up his book, Jack smiled a warm smile, and insisted the accident had been all his fault.

That wasn’t the truth, but I didn’t have time to stand around and disagree with him. I mumbled, “That’s okay,” and raced to the door, leaving Jack standing there with his mouth open as if he were about to continue the conversation.

My old car made its way into the city, until I arrived at my usual parking space.

My legs were sore as I walked up the stairs because they hadn’t yet recovered from the aerobics class I’d started two days earlier. Our old building had two sets of elevators, and both were out of order. “I need a change!” I muttered, thinking of how each day seemed a little worse than the one before.

“Denise,” my friend, Claire, said. She tapped my shoulder, as I pulled my swivel chair out from my desk and sat down. “His majesty wants you in his office. Now!” she said, rolling her eyes. Claire also lived in the same building I did.

His majesty was Charles Baldwin, our department head, and my boyfriend for the past seven months. He was the best-looking guy in our office. He was so gorgeous, and he was popular with all the girls.

In our department, however, Charles’s good looks couldn’t make up for the demanding boss that he was.

“I’d expected those new account reports on my desk yesterday,” he said, barely looking up from the papers in front of him, as I walked into his office.

“They’ll be ready today,” I told him, annoyed that he was so cold. “You didn’t tell me that you needed them yesterday. They would’ve been here,” I tried to say in a forceful voice.

Charles and I had agreed when we’d started dating, that our working relationship would not change. But lately, I felt as if Charles expected twice as much work from me as he did from the others in our department. It seemed that nothing I did was right.

As I turned to leave, I remembered that we had plans to go to a small, Irish pub that evening. We had been planning our St. Patrick’s Day date for a long time. We had decided that we would stand in line for several hours, if that’s what it took to get into the little pub that was known for its good food and great music.

“What time are we going this evening?” I asked.

Charles stood and turned to face the file cabinet that was behind him. “About tonight,” he said.

He didn’t need to finish. I knew he was canceling our date again, but he continued and muttered some excuse about helping his sister and her husband to install new living-room carpeting. I knew it was a lie.

He turned back to face me. “And take that silly thing off!” he said, pointing to the small, green pin I’d placed on my sweater, hoping to perk him up.

My eyes began to sting with tears, but I fought to hold them in. If Claire saw me leaving Charles’s office upset again, I was afraid she’d march in and throw a large stack of his precious account folders at him.

I grabbed the doorknob and began to pull, just as Cecily Dawson stepped in. She’d started work six weeks before, and my heart went out to her. She looked so young, and I guessed that it was her first job. It’s too bad she’s been placed under the supervision of such a tyrant as Charles Baldwin, I thought, as I left the room.

I headed straight for the water cooler hoping Claire wouldn’t notice me. She couldn’t believe that I was still seeing Charles after what a jerk he’d been. In fact, Claire couldn’t believe I’d ever started dating him. “He’s not your type, Denise,” she’d said, shocked when I’d first told her I was going out with him.

She was absolutely right. Charles wasn’t the type of man I’d usually gone out with. That had been one of the reasons I’d found him so attractive I was the girl who’d barely had a date through high school, and things really never improved. I’d been known for turning bright red if any reasonably good-looking guy even spoke to me.

When Charles had first asked me out, I’d nearly fainted. I couldn’t believe that this handsome guy, who could have his pick of any girl in the office, was interested in me.

I’d forced myself to remain calm, and for once I’d manged to throw my shyness aside and accepted his offer.

As I went back to my desk, Claire stopped me and asked if I was plat going to the St. Patrick’s Day party that was being held in the party room of our apartment building that evening.

“I don’t think so,” I whined, still wounded by Charles’s words.

Despite the condition of our old apartment building, the tenants had decided to all pitch in and go to work refinishing the party room. We usually had a party for every possible occasion, making sure our hard work had been for a good cause.

“Why not?” Claire asked.

“I thought I’d stay at home and work on that leaky faucet,” I told her, trying not to sound whiny. I didn’t want another lecture about how I should stop seeing Charles.

“Yeah. You sure wouldn’t want to go out to some stupid, little party when you could be at home working on your plumbing!” she said.

I had to smile. Claire always had a way of making me smile. I guess that’s why she’d been my best friend since fourth grade.

“I’ll stop by for you,” she said.  “We’ll go down to the party room together.” She finished her sentence, and walked before I had a chance to refuse.

I knew it would be a good idea to go to the party. Charles certainly wouldn’t be sitting at home all evening.

Then I remembered Jack Diehl. He’d only moved in three months before. Claire was always telling me what an interesting guy he was. According to her, he’d been all over the world to study sea animals, and then he wrote about his findings. He’d started teaching a course about his work at our local university.

I decided I’d like to talk to Jack. I was also very interested in sea animals. I’d even taken some courses in sea farming at the university. Of course, I didn’t know interested Jack would be in talking with me. After all, how exciting could I make my boring job sound to someone who’d traveled all over the world and really experienced life?

Claire and I decided to go to the little diner across the street for lunch. I usually had lunch with Charles, but ever since he become so distant, he preferred to stay at his desk and eat.

I tried not to think about him, as we prepared to leave. I knew he had a great deal of responsibility as supervisor of our entire department. He’d probably been overworked lately, I decided.

Claire noticed Cecily Dawson sitting at her desk behind a tall stack of folders as we headed for the door. “Do you think we should ask her to come along?” Claire asked.

I nodded, once again feeling sorry for the young woman. She looked like she could really use a break.

“Thanks. But I can’t,” Cecily said in a whispery voice. “If I leave my desk, I’ll never finish all of this.” She pointed to the papers piled up in front of her.

Claire and I shook our heads in disbelief as we left the building. We couldn’t believe that Charles had given her so much work.

After we each ordered soups and salads, Claire filled me in on the details of the party our neighbors had planned. There were going to be plenty of games, and it was going to be a lot of fun.

Our conversation was going fine, until Claire asked me if I wanted to invite Charles. I told her he was going to be busy and wouldn’t be able to make it. She sud­denly remembered Charles and I had been planning our St. Patrick’s Day date for a long time.

“What excuse did he give you this time?” she asked, as she buttered one of the hot rolls that had come with our lunch.

“He’s helping his sister,” I said.

“Sure he is!”

We ate without talking for a few min­utes, until Claire felt that it was her re­sponsibility to warn me about Charles again.

“He can’t be trusted, Denise,” she said. “Remember Debra Fulton and Susan DeMayo?”

I nodded. Charles had been dating Debra when I started working there. Everyone in the office expected the two of them to get married. They seemed so happy together. Then all of a sudden Debra started show­ing up for work nervous and upset, and she’d break into tears at the least little thing. That lasted about two weeks, and then she told us she was leaving work.

Susan was gorgeous. She started about a week after Debra’s departure. It was obvious to all of us that she and Charles were an item right from the beginning. They were both so good looking. Everyone thought for sure they were a match made to last. But after a few months, there seemed to be trouble in paradise. Then Susan shocked us with the announcement that she was quitting her job and going to marry an actor from our town.

“But we don’t know what really hap­pened with Debra and Susan,” I said. “It could have been just as much their fault as Charles’s,” I argued, trying to defend him.

Claire just rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.

Charles had asked me out a few weeks after Susan had left. I’d figured he wouldn’t want more than one date with me anyway, so I was safe. On our first evening together, I’d made it a point to ask Charles what had happened with Debra and Susan. He’d tried to explain, but he got so upset that he couldn’t. I’d figured he’d been truly hurt by those breakups. So when he asked me out again, I accepted.

The first few months we were seeing each other, Charles was wonderful. He always made sure we were doing things that I en­joyed doing, and going places that I liked to go. When he began to change, and in­sisted on planning all of our dates around the things he liked to do, I had no com­plaints. After all, we’d been doing every­thing my way for some time. The real trouble started, when Charles began cancel­ing our dates at the last minute, or didn’t show up for them at all. And when we were out together, he seemed distant and cold. On the job, he’d become more demanding than ever.

Maybe I’m not the only one who needs a change, I thought. Charles had been working awfully hard. He could probably use a nice, relaxing vacation away from the hectic pace of work.

After we finished lunch and started back across the street, Claire told me that Jack Diehl had been awarded a grant from the government to study animals in the Atlantic Ocean. She said he’d be taking off once again at the end of the summer. This time to spend a year aboard a boat.

“Now, that’s a life,” I said, thinking of how Jack would be out in the vast, blue ocean carrying on his work.

As soon as I reach the office, I thought, I’ll march right in and suggest to Charles that we take our vacations and head south where we can find some hot, sandy beach to lounge on.

Charles’s door was closed when I reached it. That was his signal that he didn’t want to be disturbed, but I felt my news was too important to wait. I was hoping that he’d become as enthused about a vacation as I was.

I knocked once and then quickly pushed the door open. I don’t know who was more surprised, Charles and Cecily, or me. Cecily was perched comfortably on Charles’s lap. Apparently, she and the boss had decided her large stack of work didn’t need to be completed so quickly after all.

Young couple having sex at workplace

Cecily slowly slid off Charles’s lap and slipped out of the room with a smile of satisfaction on her face.

“Denise,” Charles said. “Come in and sit down. Please.”

But I didn’t feel like sitting down. I felt more like walking over and knocking Charles off his chair and onto the floor!

“That won’t be necessary,” I told him, trying to keep my voice from cracking or the tears from starting. “There’s no explanation for the way you behave, and I don’t want to hear anything you have to say!” I walked out of his office, and slammed the door as hard as I could.

Everyone was staring at me with looks of sympathy on their faces. I guess they didn’t have to be geniuses to figure out what had just happened. Claire rushed over and started to put her arm around my shoulder, but I stopped her.

“I won’t be seeing Charles any longer I told her. I walked to my desk, sat down and started working.

That evening as I dressed for the partyI tried not to think of Charles and Cecily but of how I was going to fulfill the promise I’d made to myself.

Maybe I can go back to school and continue my studies in sea farming, I thought. Or maybe, I can move to a new town, start a new job, and meet new people.

I was concentrating on all of my options when the doorbell rang. I wondered who it could be. It was still too early for Claire to be stopping by.

I was surprised to find a deliveryman standing there with a large arrangement of flowers. “Denise Madison?” he asks

“Yes,” I said, and he handed me the large bouquet.

I ripped open the tiny envelope, anxious to find out who had sent them. The card read: Sorry about bumping into you this morning. I hope you’re coming to the party tonight. It will make my St. Patrick’s Day something special if you’re there, Jack Diehl.

I took out a vase and began putting flowers in it. I weaved the delicate baby’s breath and tiny shamrocks among them. It was a beautiful arrangement, and a very special one. I actually began to feel that a different and exciting life was possible me.

When Claire arrived, I was dressed in green and had placed a small flower from Jack’s bouquet in my hair.

“Wow!” she said. “You look great!”

“I feel great,” I announced, as Claire studied me with surprise.

“What’s this?” she asked, noticing flowers.

I handed her the card to read for herself.

She didn’t say a thing. She just smiled and I knew she was happy for me.

As we started for the door, I asked her to wait a minute. I ran back to my room and grabbed the small pin I’d worn to work that day. Maybe Charles didn’t appreciate my St. Patrick’s Day enthusiasm, but someone else might.

That evening, my life really did change. Jack was so kind and sensitive. Between games, he explained his work to me, and I was pleased to find that the classes I’d taken did help me to keep up with him. He also listened carefully as I explained what a fool I’d been to trust Charles.

Before we realized it, the party had ended. Claire told us they were turning off the lights and leaving the cleanup until the next evening.

After Jack walked me up to my apartment and we stood by the door to say goodnight, he looked at the pin I was wearing. The pin that proclaimed, KISS ME I’M IRISH!” May I,” he said, before leaning and kissing me tenderly.

ThinkstockPhotos-181862760

After that St. Patrick’s Day, my life was busier than ever. I worked each day, and spent each evening at the university taking classes. When Jack Diehl went off to at the end of that summer to continue, work, I went along with him as his wife, Mrs. Diehl. Now all of our St. Patrick’s Day celebrations are special, whether on land or sea!

Tips On How To Find Your Soulmate

Milky Way. Silhouettes of hugging and kissing man and woman

1. See Yourself with the Perfect Partner

Envision the perfect relationship. That’s the start of your journey to a great relationship. Imagine someone with all the qualities you’re looking for and having that special someone as your soulmate. Your imagination will open doors and lead you to that special person. Take time out of your day and see yourself in this situation. Before you know it, that person will be in your life. In this case, mental imagery is your tool.

Often couples will say they knew he or she was the right one. This is because prior to meeting, each partner had envisioned some set of ideas they wanted. In other words, they had the perfect partner with those qualities in their mind. It’s very important to pay attention to what you’re thinking. You might be thinking of a special relationship for yourself but have a friend in a poor relationship. You need to not think of your friend with a poor relationship and continue to think yourself in a great one! Remember, your relationship is special for you. Believe it or not when we see other people in poor relationships, it can rub off on you since you’ve been exposed to the idea of a poor relationship.

2. Ask Yourself What You’re Looking for

valentine

Doing a self assessment of your needs in a relationship is tantamount to your relationship success. See what makes you happiest in a person. You might want a great wife and parent and might find that in someone. You might have more money than you’ll ever need and not need the financial support of your partner so a wealthy or well off partner isn’t a requirement. Or you might want to be a homemaker raising children. You’ll want to make sure your partner can provide the basics so you can raise your children and take care of your home with peace of mind. Having a partner who meets your needs in a relationship is the basis of contentment in your relationship.

3. Look in the Right Places

Romantic lovers with eiffel tower

Everyone has heard the phrase “Looking for love in all the wrong places”. Well you want to make sure you’re looking for love in all the right places. Join interest groups such as bird watching or book clubs. There are lots of activities that bring people together that are perfect places to meet new friends and lovers. You can meet people from online dating sites or join online communities and meet new people this way as well. You can check your local newspaper or magazine for a list of great places where people are getting together. You can take a cooking course for example, learn a new skill and meet new potential mates along the way! There are as many ways to meet new people as your imagination can take you. Stay open to new ideas and be ready.

4. Make Sure You Meet Each Other Halfway

Couple Enjoying Picnic On Cliffs By Sea

Relationships are not one sided affairs. It takes two to tango! And you have to remember you’ll have to negotiate everything from the start including seeing each other. You’ll need to compromise on some things from time to time. Some couples have different tastes in movies . He likes action adventure and she likes art house , relationship driven movies. They compromise by having every other movie they watch be one he likes or she likes. This way they get the companionship they love while going to the movies and the opportunity to explore movies they wouldn’t see otherwise. Meeting each other halfway is a building block of any great relationship. And it’s not just movie decisions. It could be where to live, schools to send children to or other decisions that require both partners to meet each halfway.

5. Keep Your Standards Up

Couple touching with heads before kissing

While it’s important to make compromises and meet each other halfway sometimes, your relationship shouldn’t be so many compromises that you don’t enjoy the relationship. Keeping your standards up will help you keep your chin up in this situation and be proud of yourself and your partner. Meeting at interest groups is often great since you can get insight into the person on an objective basis before any relationship has ever begun. Before one famous couple married, she worked for him. She was able to rise to head her own division at this company. He was able to see all the great qualities she possessed before starting any relationship. Now the two of them are married and coworkers in one of the world’s largest charitable organizations. I’m sure each partner in this case had mutual respect for each other as coworkers. Each partner has a sense of satisfaction in their choice of mate based on work ethic and productivity based on respect. Keeping your standards up helps you in the long run enjoy a more satisfying relationship.

These tips are a few that will get you on your way to a great and satisfying relationship. Seeing yourself in a great relationship is where it starts. There are lots of great places to meet that special someone including free online dating sites. Following these simple steps will lead you to your soulmate and true happiness that you’ve chosen wisely.

5 Ways He’s Saying “I Love You”

Romantic Hispanic couple in a park

One of the biggest steps in a relationship is when one person decides to say those three little words: No, not “I got food,” the other important words.

Saying “I love you” catapults your relationship into a new level. No longer are you only “in a relationship,” but now you’re in love. Those words hold a severity that can put a lot of pressure on the parties involved.

Once you reach the point where the L-word starts creeping into your mind, there’s a million new things that you start to stress over:

Should I say it first? Why hasn’t he said it? How do I know if he feels the same way?

If your boyfriend hasn’t dropped the L-bomb yet, though it can be tempting to start questioning the sincerity of your relationship, don’t start to worry quite yet. Words are just that—words. They are meaningless if they’re not reinforced through your significant other’s actions.

Even if he hasn’t said that he loves you, there are many different ways he could be showing his love for you—you just have to pay attention.

Here are a few signs that your boyfriend does love you, he just hasn’t told you yet.

  1. Asking About Your Day

Couple deep in conversation

It may seem like common sense, but when someone loves you, they care about your well-being. If your boyfriend, completely unprompted, takes the time to ask you about your day, that’s a good indication that he cares about you.

But not just that.

It’s important that you distinguish between him asking for the sake of conversation and him asking because he genuinely wants to hear the response. If your boyfriend is really falling in love with you, he will listen as you complain about what your coworker said at work, or that project that you need to finish, or what drama is happening between your girlfriends this week.

Maybe he’s not saying “I love you,” but he is saying: I’m invested in this conversation and I’m invested in this relationship. I’m here for the long haul.

  1. Remembering the Little Things

Couple relaxing together at home

You most likely spend a lot of time talking to your significant other, and, in that time, you share a plethora of details: your favorite ice cream flavor, what you’re looking forward to, what your scared of, etc. You may think all that information goes in one ear and out the other, but your boyfriend remembering all the quirky little things about you is a sure sign that he’s feeling the love.

Maybe he calls you right after your big meeting because he remembered the time and that you were anxious about it. Maybe he instinctively grabs your hand during the part of a movie that he knows scared you. It could be as simple as him sending you a picture of something that he knew would make you laugh.

As cliché as it sounds, it’s the little things that count the most.

Maybe he’s not saying “I love you,” but he is saying: I’m paying attention to you and what makes you happy.

  1. Making Sure You Get Home Safe

A smiling girl looking at her mobile phone

Like I said earlier, if he loves you, he cares about your well-being. This means making sure that you are always safe and taken care of.

Just a simple text of “let me know when you get home,” or “did you get home safe?” is a small gesture of love. Your boyfriend can’t always be with you, so taking the time to check in on you shows how much effort he’s putting into your relationship and how much he cares about you.

Similarly, if he checks in to ask if you’ve eaten or if you’ve taken your medicine, he’s making an effort to take care of you.

Maybe he’s not saying “I love you,” but he is saying: I worry about you and want to make sure you’re safe.

  1. Letting You into His Life

Portrait of happy young couple on scooter enjoying road trip

While him listening to you talk about your day can be a sign of his love, telling you about his day can also be a big indicator. If he calls you just to unload some stress from work or tell you a joke he overheard, he’s opening up his life to you and he wants you to be a part of it.

Maybe he lets you in on secrets or starts to open up about his family. Whenever he allows himself to be vulnerable or to let down some of his defenses, he’s showing you that you’re the person he can be himself around.

Maybe he’s not saying “I love you,” but he is saying: I trust you and feel comfortable enough to tell you anything.

  1. Introducing You to His Friends and Family

Group Of Friends Enjoying Meal In Restaurant

To me, this is one of the surest signs that he’s falling in love. This is a huge step in merging your lives together and it can, sometimes, be a make-or-break moment.

If he proudly introduces you to his friends and family, he wants everyone he’s closest to to care about you as much as he does. Put simply, he sees a future with you. If a guy is still unsure of his feelings, he’ll try to keep your relationship quiet. Telling everyone he knows is a big commitment; if you break up, that’s a lot of people who are going to have questions.

Maybe he’s not saying “I love you,” but he is saying: I’m proud that you’re mine and I want everyone to know it.