From the vault of True Love Magazine, comes an entry in the “My Worst Date Ever!” writing contest.
When it comes to bad dates, let’s face it ladies…we all have a share-worthy story to tell!
I was home from graduate school for the summer and ran into a guy who used to be in my French class in high school. I remember thinking he was the coolest guy alive–good at sports, funny, the kind of guy that everyone else looked up to. In short, he was the type of guy who never would have noticed me with my frizzy hair, glassed and braces. Now here I was, five years later. The braces were gone, the glasses and hair were more stylish, and I have a new found confidence from my time at college.
He told me that he was taking a year’s break from getting his MBA to help manage his dad’s business. Then he asked if I would like to meet up for dinner and a drink later at a nice little Italian place. I couldn’t believe that he was finally noticing me and, better yet, had asked me out on a date!
Things started out well. He picked me up in a rather flashy car, and, as we ate, we reminisced about school. At the time, it didn’t seem odd to me that he wanted to talk more about the old days rather than his current endeavors. But the reason why became very apparent later that evening.
As we were enjoying dessert, his mother came bursting through the restaurant doors in a furious mood. The minute she saw him, she stormed angrily over to the table, yelling and waving her arms. What I didn’t know was that, earlier in the evening while I had gone to the bathroom, he had realized he didn’t have any cash so he’d called his mom to ask if she could give him some money. What’s more, the car was actually his mother’s and he had borrowed it without her knowing.
The rest of his story also fell apart. He had dropped out of college after failing his first year’s exams, had been unable to keep a job, and now worked for his dad and lived in his parent’s basement. Before my very eyes–not to mention the entire restaurant–the coolest guy in school became a whiny little boy, pleading with his mom not to embarrass him.
I never saw him again but the experience did teach me that I could finally put my days of geeky embarrassment from high school well behind me.
—Fiona Young-Brown, Kentucky
Okay, as human beings we can all be a little selfish, stubborn and set in our ways sometimes. This is natural, and the transition from ‘I’ to ‘us’ can be a difficult one. However, it is important that you put your relationship first. A lot of married couples still consider their own families and siblings to be more important than their new “family.” And while you love and treasure your own family, it is critical to a successful relationship to make sure your partner doesn’t feel less important.
Having rituals within your relationship and secret communications allows you to share something private, and it gives you a special connection. Be sure not to confuse rituals and habits with routine. That would become predictable and boring. Something as simple as having your morning tea together, or going for a walk on a Sunday no matter what the weather is, can be enough to ensure that you spend that special time together. The secrets and the moments that you share will bond you together in a time of need. A ‘code word’ can be used to be in place of ‘love you.‘
Be sure to talk to your partner every day. It’s an essential part of a healthy relationship. A lot of couples do struggle when communication breaks down, so having a chat about your day will ensure that you connect. Simply asking,” How was your day,” shows that you care – of course, you do need to be a good listener when he/she tells you about their day. Share your day, too, but try not to be negative and whine too much. You can also remember to compliment him/her, give her/him encouragement, and make plans to do something fun together. Obviously, it doesn’t need to be a long conversation, but even little touches can make a big difference.
After work, try to “turn off” the office. Our smart phones are not so smart when it comes to relationships. If we never switch off our phones, tablets and laptops, it means we are always distracted. Focus on your partner and give them your full attention. Also, work stresses should try to be left at the office. If you read an email with a new deadline, this is only going to make you more stressed, it doesn’t make you a fun person to be around. So, whenever possible, step away from the phone/computer/video game/etc.!
Traveling can work wonders for any couple. Experiencing new sights, sounds, smells and sensations awakens your soul and creates a sense of peace and calmness. Anytime you get to experience an adventure with your significant other, it allows you to create new memories and adventures that you both can look back on for years.
By Annabel Acton
Annabel Acton is the founder of 
By Annabel Acton