Does Marriage Kill The Romance in The Relationship?

Not talking to each other

As a wise man once said, “Problems are not stop signs; they are guidelines.” This can’t be truer than in the case of marriage.

During the initial phase, marriage might seem like a bed of roses. One thinks, what can be more fulfilling and satisfying, than spending the rest of your life with the one you truly love? However, as a couple strolls down the lane of life, all the initial love and romance tends to get lost somewhere down the way. As soon as the honeymoon period ends, the couples come face to face with the harsh realities of life.

While on one hand you have to earn the bread and butter for your family, you also have to make sure to fulfill all the duties you owe towards your loved ones. From your parents to children, everyone looks up to you as a couple to fulfill their financial as well as emotional needs. In order to make everyone around them happy, the couples often tend to compromise on their own personal time together. As a result, in a short amount of time they become distant from each other. Love tends to take a back seat and romance becomes non-existent.

Romantic couple holding hands together over candlelight

So is it true when people say that marriage kills the romance in a relationship? No, that is defiantly not the case. While marital commitments often tend to keep a couple busy, they are not the ones responsible for degrading the romance in a marriage. The couple always needs to remember that love and romance are the very basis of a happy marriage. Hence, there are a few things that one can do in order to keep the romance in a marriage alive:

 

  • Sweet and small gestures: you do not need to make an elaborate show to remind your husband or wife that you love them. You can keep the romance alive by doing small gestures like leaving stick on notes on their cupboards, office bags, refrigerators etc. expressing your love to them. You can go a step ahead by preparing their favorite meal, or giving your spouse a surprise gift or flowers.
  • Marriage dating: Marriage dating is one of the finest ideas to keep your married life alive and kicking. Take your spouse out on a date, just the two of you. Spend some quality time together, doing your favorite things. Relive your courtship period. Nothing can be more romantic and de-stressing for you as a couple.
  • Appreciate and respect your spouse: your husband or wife need and deserve your respect. Make sure to thank them for the efforts that they put in in order to keep your lives running and happy. This small gesture will surely increase their love for you.
  • Express your love: though you both know that you love each other, still it is important for you as a couple to express you love. Never miss a chance to tell your husband or wife that you love them. By merely saying “I love you” every day, you can make your spouse fall in love with you over and over.

 

Romance in a marriage never gets lost. However, it is up to you to rediscover it and keep it alive. All the best!

The Price You Pay Getting Into A Relationship

family drawing money house clothes and video game symbol

Rom-coms focus on the tummy-butterfly-infused beginnings of romantic relationships, with the credits rolling long before real life with work, family and the power bill kick in. Love is an expensive endeavor with figurative and literal costs incurred by a couple as their relationship evolves.

Here’s a breakdown of the price you pay for getting into a relationship:

New Love
When you start dating someone, the bulk of the money spent is on entertainment. In a study conducted by the American Sociological Association, of 17,000 people surveyed it found 84% of the men and 58% of the women reported men cover the majority of expenses at the beginning of a courtship.

Boyfriend and girlfriend holding drinks at nightclub

Regardless of if you go Dutch or treat one another, the cost of movies, dining out and trips adds up. You and your love interest make dates and plans that you wouldn’t spend money on as a single person.

Dating someone can also have an impact on other relationships in our lives. Making time and committing energy to a new love interest means that you decrease your commitments to others in your life in order to free yourself up. This relationship cost is not monetary but it can definitely be felt by all those impacted.

Studies have shown that females who swiftly increase the time they spend with a love interest also rapidly lessen the time they commit to friends. This change in interpersonal connections can cost the couple their close friends if balance is not created between friend time and romantic-love time.

Compromise will need to take place, as a couple will need to make appearances at various family functions as well as keep in touch with different friend groups. You won’t be able to attend everything, you will have to get good at saying no and balancing the variety of expectations of your friends and family, and those of your partner.

Getting Serious
You have gotten to know one another and you mutually decide you want to be exclusive. This can mean your dating costs dip because you’d rather spend the night chilling together watching Netflix than getting all gussied up to go out to a fancy restaurant.

African couple eating take-out in freshly painted room

With the growing connection of a couple, there can be a desire to signify the more “serious” nature of a relationship. One way of expanding this level of your relationship is with jewelry, specifically, a promise ring which expresses a token of love and commitment.This is an outward expression of your dedication to one another and your union.

Getting serious may also mean spending nights over at one another’s places. If you do the math, you realize you’re both doling out rent or mortgage money monthly as well as covering the utilities and groceries for each of your homes. The cost-benefit analysis on this can quickly motivate couples to decide to make to move in together.

Make sure to have a discussion about how you’ll share the expenses before you make THAT move.

Moving-in, Marriage & Maybe Even Kids
The more commitment as couple pledges to one another and their relationship, the more significant the costs are. Big-ticket items tend to come into play when couples decide to pool their resources and move in together. Their buying power increases because they can combine their cash to buy furniture, a car or maybe even a home.

Guests throwing confetti over kissing bride and groom, outdoors

If an engagement and wedding are in the cards, the large price tag isn’t far behind. In the US, the average wedding costs around $26,000. Some people opt for more lavish events costing upwards of $30,000, while others keep their expenses down below $10,000. No matter where a couple finds themselves on that spectrum, it is a bunch of money to carve out of savings.

The next question after the wedding wraps up is typically “so when are you having kids?”. Or maybe you forgo the wedding and opt to just have kids. However you slice it, the little rag rats are one of the most expensive investments you’ll make a couple. Kids cost about $13,000 a year.

The expenses of having a child or children continue even if the couple doesn’t. Yup, there is a chance of divorce. An estimated 40%–50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce. Divorce comes with its own hefty fee.

All of the added commitments and stresses of running a household, raising kids while juggling work can take its toll on a relationship. Resentment can rear its ugly head as women tend to assume the majority of cleaning tasks. A recent study found that husbands create seven hours of extra housework a week — SEVEN!

Establishing and continuing committed relationship can be incredibly positive experience as it can bring security, emotional support and fun into your life. But don’t kid yourself, no matter what stage you’re in, relationships are hard work and have costs.

Go into relationships with your eyes wide open and honestly discuss with your partner what you’re both willing to invest of yourselves, your time and money.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )