How Does Stress Devastate Your Sex Life

Silent days is not anything pleasant

Each and every individual has a strong desire for sex and not getting the proper experience in it may turn out to be annoying. Although different people have varied levels of sex drives or libido, it is certain that all of them have definite sexual passions in his or her different ways.

In the biological point of view, sex is a very common factor in humans, and it should not be neglected or, particularly, suppressed. Sex brings in a range of physiological reactions, mostly biochemical and psychological, making a person internally happy and content. Sex drive arises in a person because of several hormonal actions inside the body and is conducted or charged through the libido. So, it is natural concluding the reason to the urge of sex as a completely natural phenomenon required for the sustenance of the overall health of a person, both physically and mentally. However, like various other issues we face in our day-to-day life, our sexual life also gets to face one of the nasty enemies of it because of modern lifestyle. This enemy is known as stress, and the ‘stress factor’ can do a considerable harm in one’s sexual life leaving the person and his or her partner unhappy at the end of a ‘hopeful night’. Let us see what stressful sex can do to our personal lives.

portrait of a woman sitting on the floor with a man reading behindRelationship Issues

Well, the impact on our metabolism is a serious matter delivered to us by stress. According to biology, stress diverts and negatively influences your metabolism level to such an extent that your physique changes. Your physique plays a significant role in your sex life, and a change in it will affect your performance. Your self-esteem in bed will get lower, and a low self-esteem paves the way for weaker sex. This impacts relationship in a considerable way. No one wants that to happen.

Do Not Court Cortisol

Cortisol is the stress hormone of the body, and you need it in a very less quantity. A rise in its level will bring in significant weariness and hormonal changes affecting your sexual traits severely. As a matter of fact, Cortisol suppresses the sex hormones. This results in a lower libido than usual. Stress heightens the production of Cortisol in the human body. Removing stress permanently from your body through your inner sexual powers can become a good choice.

Stress Is Responsible for Harming Our Health Secondarily

Stress is one of those monsters that lead a person to various destructive activities, which again provides a negative impact in sex life. Stress contributes to a person’s psychology and gets it inclined to excessive drinking providing a good amount of alcohol in your blood stream. The excessive alcohol in your blood creates problems for your heart and when you are having heart issues, be sure to have sexual issues.

Hormonal Troubles

It can be hoped that you have learnt about the endocrine systems from your biology classes in your school years. The master glands controlling the other endocrine gland is known as the Pituitary gland harnessing the powers of the other endocrine glands as well as ovaries in women. Stress affects this little pea sized gland and, as an outcome, the overall endocrine system functions improperly. Women can even have disorders in menstruation if they are overstressed. Do not worry, though! Trying a session in the tantric massage service can give you some real benefits. Tantric massage services use your sexual energy to redesign and amplify your sexual energy internally.

That is a lot of sexual stress and its management. Well, whatever the cause is, just keep in mind that a problem is a problem and keeping it a problem will not give you any benefit unless you solve it. The rest is up to you.

Why It’s Totally Normal To Lose Yourself In Love

dog rests gently on his master's shoulder while looking view

“The only person you should ever fear losing in a relationship is you yourself.” – Miya Yamanouchi.

So, here I am… two years out of a relationship and still single as a dollar bill. And while I’d like to think that I am putting myself out there, I’m not. I haven’t had the slightest crack open for a relationship to find it’s way in. This is not because I’m horribly heart broken. It’s not because I would prefer to have a significant income rather than a significant other. And it’s certainly not because I have commitment issues, daddy issues or any other “issue” that can be chalked up to living the single life. Single is not an issue, my friends. Single life is EVERYTHING. It’s a powerful stage to make headway in your life. It’s a time to fully and finally (!!) invest in you.

I am single because I’m focusing on a whole lot of whatever the fuck I want, and none of what I don’t. I’m working towards the dreams that make me nauseous with excitement and taking time to evaluate what I want in life with as little outside influence as possible. And to be frank, I’m being selfish. I’m choosing myself, by myself, for myself.


(Until you realize it’s not).

The truth is that what is underneath all the cheerleading for single-dom is fear. Yep, straight up FEAR. I’m fearful that I will lose myself in loving someone else (again). The pattern is all too familiar.

You know the ones. Before their relationship, they roar with excitement for the things that make them come alive. They are full of high hopes, big dreams and outrageous ambitions. They push fearlessly towards their goals. They make time for their friends, their family and their community because they want to build their life in good company. They do spiritual work, take on new hobbies, and frequent the edges of their comfort zone to discover and reveal in the unknown. They workout to the point of exhaustion, not to look good for anyone else, but to know that they were responsible for creating that incredible pump inside their chest all by their damn selves. They buzz with enlightenment and insight and all the good things this world has ever given someone.

…and then love hits.

Love comes in and life’s ambitions take the backseat. It’s not intentional, and it’s certainly not something that is easy to see but then suddenly the person they were before the relationship is a long-lost ideal of who they are in the relationship. The love blinders are on and they are coated in the blanket of this new lustful existence.

Sweet couple in love spring sunny dayAll their beautifully directed attention towards their dreams turns towards their lover… and they pause. Time stops. Their big lofty goals are no longer in sight. They move from vision boards and ladies retreats to Saturday nights in, week after week, after week. They are in love, and they have stepped away from showing up for themselves.

And here in lies the problem.They lose themselves in loving someone else. 

They are so busy creating a life for their person that they forget to create a life for themselves. Their ambitions take a backseat in the name of “love”. Suddenly life doesn’t feel so uncomfortable if you never achieve those dreams… because, well, love. Everything is better in love.

The comfort of your lover ties you over when you’re having a bad day. The flowers they brought home slap a band-aid over the deep restlessness you experience in life. And with this band-aid on you can no longer see the holes you were desperately seeking to fill.

But the reality is that those holes are still there. They may just not be as blatantly obvious as they were when you didn’t have someone to come home to. In single-dom you had to face those discomforts head on. You had to work to overcome them. You were responsible for making yourself feel better. You, alone, by yourself. But in love… naw. You can push the uneasiness under the rug for a bit longer.

It takes work to be who you really are when you’re mending two worlds together. It can be confusing, and messy, and wildly compromising. It can also be beautiful, and exciting and deeply intentional. But if you don’t keep pushing to fuel your passions and dig up your holes, you will keep looking for anything else (everything else) to take their place. Love included.

We’ve all heard it before. Good, healthy relationships are not about completing each other, but being two whole self actualized beings choosing to share your love with each other. You’re not looking to the other for anything. You already have everything you need inside of you. You are responsible for that self-love. They are responsible for theirs. It’s about supporting each other in their respective dreams and wanting them to be as big and bright as they possibly can be. That, my friends, is love in the most basic form.

Because love is always the answer. Love yourself (foremost), love those around you (fearlessly) and love and acknowledge the stage you are in. Keep your intentions on being the best version of yourself you can be. We all deserve a little (lotta) self-love to make this world a happier, healthier, more supportive place.

Written By Emilie Talermo

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )


Relationship Advice From Your Favorite ’90s Throwback Songs

Retro music header image

Yes, it’s 2017 and yes, I’m still listening to ‘90s throwback songs. Don’t judge me, okay? The ‘90s were full of boy bands, huge hair and acid wash jeans—what’s not to love? I have a full playlist of all my old favorites that I listen to when I’m getting ready for work or cleaning or really just looking for any excuse to dance around with my toothbrush as a microphone, pretending I’m a Spice Girl (Don’t act so innocent. I know you’ve done it too.)

There’s something about a good ‘90s pop song that fills me with so much motivation, like I can take on anything, almost like if there was a problem, yo, I’d solve it. Their words of wisdom are applicable to so many issues you may face in life, but I find them especially useful in the relationship department.

Here’s a list of advice from the best songs of the decade on how you should approach your love life.

No Scrubs—TLC

“I don’t want no scrubs. A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.”

It’s only right that I start this list off with such a classic empowerment anthem.

Dual Sunglasses Men at Night

Everyone has found themselves in this scenario: You’re minding your own business, probably on your way to go do something badass, when you hear shouting from behind you. It’s that guy you met at your friend’s party who won’t stop messaging you—he’s living couch-to-couch and thinks “sup beautiful” is a romantic way to initiate conversation—and now he’s cat-calling you from a car window. Perfect.

Before you start thinking that it couldn’t hurt to go out on just one date with him, let the wisdom of TLC remind you of your worth.

The Advice: Do. Not. Settle. You hear me, ladies? No scrubs for any of us. Find yourself a partner who has goals, who knows what he wants from life, or at the very least has a job. You deserve much more than a guy hanging out the passenger’s side, trying to holla at you. You deserve a guy who’s going to call you when he says he will, who picks you up for a date he planned, who wants to get to know you. So don’t give that scrub any of your time.

Any Man of Mine—Shania Twain

“Any man of mine better be proud of me.”

Let’s just be honest for a second. All of “Any Man of Mine,” and really any Shania Twain song, is all of the relationship advice you will ever need.

Portrait of a businessman showing thumbs up sign

I’ve been in this situation before: Something fantastic happens to me. I’m absolutely ecstatic and I can’t wait to tell my significant other. I quickly dial their phone number and gush out all of the good news and I’m not met with the reaction I was hoping for. They give a disinterested grunt, or worse, they get aggravated at my success. This is Code Red—abort the mission, get out while you still can.

Before you start conjuring up apologies for reasons you can’t explain, channel your inner Shania.

The Advice: The person whom you are in a relationship with should be proud of your accomplishments. Do not ever feel like you need to change yourself or trivialize your successes for the sake of someone’s self-esteem. I’ve had guys sulk and attempt to make me feel bad for being smart and for working so hard and it was a long time before I realized I didn’t have to make excuses. You are allowed to be smart and successful and it might intimidate some people, but those aren’t the people you need in your life. The right guy is always going to be proud of you, remember that.

Wannabe—Spice Girls

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.”

Tell me if this situation sounds familiar: After listening to your friends drone on and on about how they just need to meet the person you’ve been spending so much time with, you finally agree. You arrange dinner plans and get everyone together, super nervous about these two parts of your life finally merging. You introduce the new beau and everything seems fine at first, but it all quickly goes south. Your boyfriend hates your friends and the feeling certainly seems to be mutual.

Angry friends arguing in a coffee shop

Your first instinct might be defensive. “They’re just jealous,” you might think, “They never like anyone I date.” Before you stage a coup on your friends, give this song some thought.

The Advice: It’s integral that your friends and your partner get along. They are both some of the most important people in your life and, if the relationship is serious, they’re going to be spending a lot of time together. While it’s true that not all personalities were made to mesh, your partner should put in the effort to have a good relationship with them. If he cares about you, he’ll care about your friends.

Side note: If your friends think something’s off with your boyfriend, or they seem to have a problem with him, it’s worth looking at your relationship objectively. Your friends care about you, and they can tell when something isn’t right a lot quicker than you and your rose-colored glasses possibly could. Listen to them.

You learn—Alanis Morissette

“You live, you learn. You love, you learn. You lose, you learn. You bleed, you learn. You scream, you learn.”

What list of ‘90s songs would be complete without a little Alanis Morissette, right?

As we all already know, sometimes relationships, for one reason or another, just don’t work out. There is no sugarcoating the situation: You get in a fight with your boyfriend and after several rounds of screaming fits, one or both of you decides that it’s best if you go your separate ways. So you do—you go your separate way right over to your bed where you feel like you’re going to stay for the next few months, surviving only on wine and the salt from your own tears. You’re done with dating, right?

Sad woman waking up

Before you throw in that proverbial towel, let Alanis guide you to sanity.

The Advice: These things happen, but—excuse my cheesiness—these things happen for a reason. Yeah, it didn’t work out with that guy, but now you know what kind of guy you don’t want to date. You love and then you learn and you bounce back better than ever, one step closer to finding the guy you do want to date.

Survivor—Destiny’s Child

“I’m wishin’ you the best. Pray that you are blessed, bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness. I’m not gon’ blast you on the radio. I’m not gon’ lie on you and your family. I’m not gon’ hate on you in the magazines. I’m not gon’ compromise my Christianity. You know I’m not gon’ diss you on the internet cause my mama taught me better than that.”

The prophets of independent womanhood, Destiny’s Child, will never fail you in your quest for advice.

In the same vein as the last situation, you find yourself in a breakup, but this time, things have taken a nasty turn. You find out that he wasn’t the person you had always thought he was. Maybe he yelled something really hurtful and hate-filled during the final argument, maybe he was bad-mouthing you to his friends, or maybe, god forbid, you found out about another woman. Whatever it was, you now find yourself filled with rage at the thought of how much time you wasted on him.

Woman sitting on mountainside

You have two options in this situation. I know that you want to let your anger navigate you, but before you do something you’ll regret, picture yourself as Beyoncé.

The Advice: I know that you’re angry, and channeling that anger as revenge seems like the best course of action, but you are better than that. If a guy is going to treat you that way, he’s not worth the actions that you’re about to take. Don’t do something that you will immediately regret because you’re heartbroken. It’ll take some time, but throw away all of those grudges and look toward the future. Wish him the best, and move on knowing that there are much, much better things ahead of you. Your mama taught you better than that.

By Kristian Porter at Never Liked It Anyway.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

What To Do When Your Friends and Your Girlfriend Don’t Gel

three young people sitting on a couch watching television

There are many reasons why couples around the world struggle to sustain a healthy relationship. A major problem that sometimes crops up is that a person’s significant other just doesn’t seem to like his closest friends. If you are facing the same situation, you have probably had to confront a lot of negative energy from your wife or girlfriend. However, you needn’t think that this situation is beyond redemption. You can still make your relationship work, if you are prepared to take the right steps. 

The Cause May Not Be Your Friends 

If you have just traveled past the honeymoon period of your relationship, what you are facing is pretty common. You need to consider the possibility that your partner is probably reacting to the fact that other things have started to edge their way into your life, which she thinks are pulling you away from her. Your friends may be one of these ‘externalities.’ Perhaps she doesn’t have too many close friends herself, so she struggles to understand your exclusive relationship with your friends. If you think that, at the end of the day, what she is grudging is not the personalities of your friends, but the fact that you may be moving away from her, you need to reassure her that she is mistaken. Even if you can’t spend as much time with her as before, try to make the time you do spend special. 

When She Genuinely Doesn’t Like Them 

Teenage Girl Sitting in a Cafe Looking Bored and Lonely, Her Friends in the Background

Obviously, there is also the possibility that she genuinely doesn’t like certain friends of yours. If that’s happening, you have to accept the fact that she has a right to form her own judgments and impressions, and those could be very different from yours. However, check with her who she doesn’t like and why. You should also tell her why you like them. If you both are open and communicative, you will prevent barriers from forming between you two. 

Making Plans With Her and Friends 

If you perceive that your wife or girlfriend doesn’t like some friends of yours, respect her for that and don’t include her into plans she would rather not be a part of. If you have been pressuring her to share the company of people she doesn’t like, it will adversely affect her mood, and all her grievances will be rightly directed towards your behavior. 

Never Give Up Your Friends 

The one thing you should never do is discard your friends or drift away from them just because your wife or girlfriend doesn’t like them. A healthy relationship can only be sustained when two people are prepared to accept that they both have the right to an independent space for themselves. Your friends are part of that space. The moment you get pressured into giving them up, you will start forming a grudge against your partner, and it will come out in an ugly and hurtful manner in a fight. 

Finally, to maintain a happy relationship with your girlfriend, you need to always remember to communicate clearly. The more you repress yourself, the more difficult it will become to have a calm conversation on the issue. 

9 Ways To Be A Single Empowered Female

Portrait of sexy blonde woman in eyeglasses and pearl necklaces

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Not all of us are ready to find love, to settle down, or even to meet for coffee unless it’s going to advance our careers. Sure, deep down we’re all dreaming about the day we bring home “the one.”

But right now? Right we want to create a home of our own on our own. Or we want to jump from home to home because we’re not tied down, and we like it that way for now.

Society can make it seem like being single at a certain age means you’re falling behind. As a fellow single woman, I vehemently disagree. Take yourself, for instance. Chances are, you’re a highly motivated, ridiculously passionate, and a bright-eyed young woman with all the potential in the world to change it. Am I right?

Our digital culture can make it a little discouraging to be single when everyone else is getting married and having babies. Yet our culture is also seeing a change – one that supports women going after their dreams and not after diamond rings. We’re seeing our world evolve this way and it’s up to us to grow with it and to make the new “normal.”

Because you’re not falling behind… you’re just falling for the wrong guy.

It’s time to forget societal expectations. It’s time to change the way fairy tales are written – it’s not a matter of erasing the happy ending but changing the way we get to one. For now, focus on being a badass single woman who’s chasing her dreams. Go chase headlines and go change lives. You don’t need a man to do any of it. But what you do need are these 9 tips to help you get there:

1. Travel the world. Travel opens up your eyes and your heart. If anything is going to empower you, it’ll be watching the sun rise in another part of the world. Go with friends or travel solo, either way there’s an entire world waiting for you to discover it, to have an adventure, and to explore.

Young Woman in a Wet Negligee Walks Waist Deep in the Sea

2. Read about other successful women. Get inspired by badass women that are making a real difference in this world that has nothing to do with who they’re married to – or if they even are. Remember, you can be one of them.

3. Pamper yourself and glam it up. Forget that it sounds silly because there’s no woman out there that doesn’t feel better after going to the salon or getting dolled up. So give in and splurge on the spa (Gilt City always has some great offers) or have GlamSquad arrive before a night out with the girls.

4. Surround yourself with great women. Being around people who make you laugh, support your dreams, and make you want to be a better person is the key to a happy heart.

Three Female Friends Enjoying Drink In Cocktail Bar

5. Subscribe to a subscription service. Each month you’ll receive fun surprises that will serve as a reminder to treat yourself and hopefullt be useful in your every-day life. You can try everything from Birchbox to Rocksbox to FabFitFun to SinglesSwag – the options are endless!

6. Spread a message of love. Instead of spreading your lack of a dating life, spread the love. Spread your love of self, of the world, of your family, of your pet, or, hell, even your brand of wine. You never know what it’ll attract from it.

7. Focus on your career. Put absolutely everything you’ve got into following your passions, climbing your ladder of choice, taking risks for a bigger reward, and doing it all without depending on a man. Maybe reading a book would help.

beauty woman look you happily

8. Go to networking events. I recently went to a life-changing Creative Mornings talk so I can attest that sometimes external inspiration can be very powerful. Sometimes you need a peripheral push, and there are plenty of other groups too, like SheSays or IVY – all of which I suggest trying out.

9. Give yourself a break occasionally. Enjoy that glass of wine (maybe try a wine of the month club), have a relaxing night in, eat the whole tub of ice cream (especially if it’s Halo Top), and don’t scold yourself for any of it. Indulge because you deserve it.

While some of these may seem a little cliché, when is the last time you actually chose to practice any of them? Instead of jeering at the commonality, try to simply embrace it. You might surprise yourself, you might love yourself a little more, and you might find yourself more empowered to go change your world.

“I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.” –Warsan Shire

From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

The Price You Pay Getting Into A Relationship

family drawing money house clothes and video game symbol

Rom-coms focus on the tummy-butterfly-infused beginnings of romantic relationships, with the credits rolling long before real life with work, family and the power bill kick in. Love is an expensive endeavor with figurative and literal costs incurred by a couple as their relationship evolves.

Here’s a breakdown of the price you pay for getting into a relationship:

New Love
When you start dating someone, the bulk of the money spent is on entertainment. In a study conducted by the American Sociological Association, of 17,000 people surveyed it found 84% of the men and 58% of the women reported men cover the majority of expenses at the beginning of a courtship.

Boyfriend and girlfriend holding drinks at nightclub

Regardless of if you go Dutch or treat one another, the cost of movies, dining out and trips adds up. You and your love interest make dates and plans that you wouldn’t spend money on as a single person.

Dating someone can also have an impact on other relationships in our lives. Making time and committing energy to a new love interest means that you decrease your commitments to others in your life in order to free yourself up. This relationship cost is not monetary but it can definitely be felt by all those impacted.

Studies have shown that females who swiftly increase the time they spend with a love interest also rapidly lessen the time they commit to friends. This change in interpersonal connections can cost the couple their close friends if balance is not created between friend time and romantic-love time.

Compromise will need to take place, as a couple will need to make appearances at various family functions as well as keep in touch with different friend groups. You won’t be able to attend everything, you will have to get good at saying no and balancing the variety of expectations of your friends and family, and those of your partner.

Getting Serious
You have gotten to know one another and you mutually decide you want to be exclusive. This can mean your dating costs dip because you’d rather spend the night chilling together watching Netflix than getting all gussied up to go out to a fancy restaurant.

African couple eating take-out in freshly painted room

With the growing connection of a couple, there can be a desire to signify the more “serious” nature of a relationship. One way of expanding this level of your relationship is with jewelry, specifically, a promise ring which expresses a token of love and commitment.This is an outward expression of your dedication to one another and your union.

Getting serious may also mean spending nights over at one another’s places. If you do the math, you realize you’re both doling out rent or mortgage money monthly as well as covering the utilities and groceries for each of your homes. The cost-benefit analysis on this can quickly motivate couples to decide to make to move in together.

Make sure to have a discussion about how you’ll share the expenses before you make THAT move.

Moving-in, Marriage & Maybe Even Kids
The more commitment as couple pledges to one another and their relationship, the more significant the costs are. Big-ticket items tend to come into play when couples decide to pool their resources and move in together. Their buying power increases because they can combine their cash to buy furniture, a car or maybe even a home.

Guests throwing confetti over kissing bride and groom, outdoors

If an engagement and wedding are in the cards, the large price tag isn’t far behind. In the US, the average wedding costs around $26,000. Some people opt for more lavish events costing upwards of $30,000, while others keep their expenses down below $10,000. No matter where a couple finds themselves on that spectrum, it is a bunch of money to carve out of savings.

The next question after the wedding wraps up is typically “so when are you having kids?”. Or maybe you forgo the wedding and opt to just have kids. However you slice it, the little rag rats are one of the most expensive investments you’ll make a couple. Kids cost about $13,000 a year.

The expenses of having a child or children continue even if the couple doesn’t. Yup, there is a chance of divorce. An estimated 40%–50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce. Divorce comes with its own hefty fee.

All of the added commitments and stresses of running a household, raising kids while juggling work can take its toll on a relationship. Resentment can rear its ugly head as women tend to assume the majority of cleaning tasks. A recent study found that husbands create seven hours of extra housework a week — SEVEN!

Establishing and continuing committed relationship can be incredibly positive experience as it can bring security, emotional support and fun into your life. But don’t kid yourself, no matter what stage you’re in, relationships are hard work and have costs.

Go into relationships with your eyes wide open and honestly discuss with your partner what you’re both willing to invest of yourselves, your time and money.

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

20 Questions To Ask Your Guy

TS-514273425 Questions Couple

By Sylvia Smith

Let’s face it—your guy is pretty amazing, but he also doesn’t like to talk about himself. Why is that? Maybe it’s his selfless attitude, or he’s just a private person. Guys aren’t usually the masters of talking. Either way, you’re lucky to have him in your life.

When you’re dating or even if you’re in a committed relationship, there is nothing you want more than to learn everything there is to know about your special guy. But trying to get him to open up is sometimes like cracking a safe. Good luck learning that lock combo.

TS-485231191 Questions Man

But you really want to know. What are his deepest fears? What does he want most in this world? If you could just tap into his brain for a day, what secrets could you unlock about him? Also, knowing him on a deeper level would help you feel even more connected. As a married couple or as partners, there is nothing better.

That’s why we’ve come up with a list of 20 questions to ask your guy in order to learn more about him, and love him more in the process. They are questions that really get into what he is all about as a person, inside and out.

TS-522456242 Quetions Woman

The problem may be actually getting him to answer these questions. Maybe agree to get him to answer one a day via text, if you also answer the question, too. Or make it a game—once he completes all 20 then you’ll give him a special surprise. It could also be fun to have each of you answer these questions about HIM… and then compare your answers. This may take some convincing, so make it fun and hopefully he’ll see the value in doing it.

So print these questions, text them, or email them—just get them to him so he can answer them. You could even start with the less invasive questions at first to get him warmed up.

Good luck! Here are our 20 questions to ask your guy:

1. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Why do you think so?

2. Who is your hero or the person you look up to most (dead or alive)?

3. What is the biggest thing you look for in a guy friend? A girl friend? A marriage partner?

4. What is one of your strengths (physical, mental, spiritual, etc)?

5. What is one of your weaknesses (physical, mental, spiritual, etc)?

6. If you could travel anywhere right now for free, where would you go?

7. What is your dream job? Has this always been your dream job or has that changed?

8. If you could fix one thing in the world by just wishing it to change, what would it be?

9. What are your top three favorite foods (meals, snacks, desserts)?

10. What is your most embarrassing moment?

11. If someone were to portray you in a movie about your life, which actor would it be?

12. What is one thing you have always wanted to do?

13. What is your biggest fear (real or imagined)?

14. What motivates you the most in life?

15. If you had a free day to yourself, what would you do?

16. Have you ever lost a loved one, and what did it feel like?

17. What is your favorite book of all time?

18. What three things would you bring with you to a deserted island?

19. What do you think other people think about you when they first meet you?

20. When/how do you feel most loved?

Be sure to write down his answers so that you will both remember them in a year or two. His answers are bound to change over time, so if you revisit these in the future it would be fun to see if anything has changed.

Source: Never Liked It Anyway

7 Ways To Get Over Your Cheating Partner


By Sylvia Smith

It happened. Your partner cheated on you. Maybe you saw it coming, or perhaps it totally blindsided you. Either way, it hurts. Really badly. Though it’s not something you may ever completely get over, there are ways to get up, dust yourself off, and get past it as much as possible. You can’t change what has already happened, but here are 7 ways to get over your former cheating partner.

1. Get away

ThinkstockPhotos-182100239When you first learn of the affair it may come as quite a shock. Dealing with everyday life while you are trying to sort things out will be difficult. How can you focus on your work and household responsibilities when your mind is going a million miles an hour? Right now, you really can’t focus on anything else. So get away. If you can only do a weekend, then do a weekend. Go somewhere by yourself, preferably somewhere that you can be safe and can be as peaceful as possible, possibly surrounded by nature. Don’t bring any electronics, except for maybe your phone, but don’t talk to anyone. Check in with a trusted friend or family member at least twice a day so nobody worries.

2. Talk to your (soon to be former) significant other
ThinkstockPhotos-466346969You can try to tell yourself it didn’t happen, or you can obsess over every possible detail of it actually happening. Either way, you are going to drive yourself crazy. So it’s important to hear it from the source. Tell your partner that you need to talk to clear the air. Meet at a neutral place and have some questions ready. Mostly, try to stay calm and just be there to gather information for your own mental and emotional health. Ask questions such as, “How long has this been going on? Why did it start? Did I do anything wrong? Where do we go from here?” Try to stay general, as too many details will just make you feel worse. But actually knowing the truth will help keep you from going to all sorts of places in your mind. This probably won’t be the last time you two talk about this, so don’t feel like you need to have all the answers now. Just get enough to put your mind at rest.

3. Allow yourself to get mad
ThinkstockPhotos-465089265This hurts—of course it hurts. So let the emotions fly. Just make sure you’re not where anyone else can get hurt. Good ways to get the anger out are exercise in all forms, like running, or boxing. Also yelling out in the middle of nowhere would be cathartic. Talk to a trusted friend and get all the emotions out. You could always write down all of your feelings until you get them all out; if you aren’t up for writing then record your voice. Say everything you are feeling. Once it’s all out then throw it away. Better yet, burn it (be careful, ok?). It will feel good.

4. Get in to see a therapist
ThinkstockPhotos-536949845Do this sooner rather than later. It’s really important for you to talk through this situation. It may take some time to get over, so just start now. And talking to a third party—someone who doesn’t know you or your partner—will help. Getting validation from an outside source is so helpful and will allow you to move forward. If your partner will go to couple’s therapy with you, then great. Just make sure to measure your expectations and continue to see your therapist separately as well.

5. Figure out what you want
ThinkstockPhotos-466256175Once you are in a better place emotionally, it’s time to think about what you want. Be honest with yourself. What do you want out of life right now? What is most important to you? How will you spend your time that you used to spend with your partner? Try not to make too many life choices right now, but do make decisions that will help your life be a little easier.

6. Rally support
ThinkstockPhotos-475151462During trials like these, your true friends will stand by you. Try to let go of the ones who are unsupportive or have seemed to have disappeared; chances are it’s not personal. Just focus on the friends who can give you support and talk to them candidly. Perhaps schedule times you can talk or go out, even if you don’t want to talk about things. Just having their friendship and being there for you can be enough. Be open and honest but also talk about how much you appreciate their listening ear.

7. Turn a negative into a positive
ThinkstockPhotos-459911293A cheating partner is one of the most negative things that can happen in your life. Once it happens, you can’t change it. The only thing you have control over is how you react. Anger, resentment, sadness, and even depression are a natural result. Hopefully once those have passed, you can better focus on turning this big negative thing into something positive. Take this opportunity to be thankful for what you do have, the friends and family who still surround you, and for the realization that you don’t have to live with the hurt anymore. Figure out how you can let it go and make your future brighter than you ever thought possible.

Source: Never Liked It Anyway

The Challenge of Writing Sex Scenes

By Katherine Sharma

Sex sells. Would anyone read Fifty Shades of Grey without the sex? Luckily, I write mysteries rather than romance novels or erotica, so explicit sex is not the centerpiece of my stories. Still, as long as characters are not solitary beings, love and lust will come into play, and sex will have a role. I recently looked at several articles of the “10 Steps to Writing Great Sex Scenes” variety to help guide my creativity. The first step in one article was “Get drunk.” I assume the point was to lose inhibitions without losing coherence. The first step in another was “Decide what you’re comfortable reading and writing.” Agreed: Uncomfortable writing makes uncomfortable reading. The first step in a third was “Consider the genre.” Yep, romance readers demand love scenes. Those were all good pieces of advice. But I realized I needed to step back and start with more fundamental decisions. First, did I really need sex to advance my plot, flesh out characterization, or create a mood or foreshadowing? Tossing in an extraneous sex scene can bog down a novel as surely as padded dialogue and dead-end plot detours. Second, did I need to describe a love scene, a sex scene, or sexual acts? A love scene may include explicit descriptions, but it is first and foremost about emotions and the romantic relationship. In contrast, a sex scene spotlights sensual pleasures; a “What’s love got to do with it?” moment can be a thrilling read. Once you talk about depicting “sexual acts,” you veer into a darker place, with a focus on disappointment, conflict, and emotional and physical sadism (and I don’t mean the kind with a “safe” word). Third, what style — subtle or graphic — fits the purpose of the scene and the characters? By the way, “subtle” doesn’t mean hokey euphemisms (his rod) or hyperbole (the earth moved), and “graphic” doesn’t mean crude slang or anatomical accuracy. My thanks to one writer who helpfully put together a list of words to avoid, such as turgid and purple. For one of the more detailed guides to writing love scenes, check out

About Katherine Sharma

Katherine Sharma’s family roots are in Louisiana, Oklahoma and Texas. But after her early childhood in Texas, she has moved around the country and lived in seven other states, from Virginia to Hawaii. She currently resides in California with her husband and three children. She has also traveled extensively in Europe, Africa and Asia, and makes regular visits to family in India. After receiving her bachelor’s degree. in economics and her master’s degree in journalism from the University of Michigan, Katherine worked as a newspaper and magazine writer and editor for more than 15 years. She then shifted into management and marketing roles for firms in industries ranging from outdoor recreation to insurance to direct marketing. Although Katherine still works as a marketing consultant, she is now focused on creative writing.

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