What Would You Sacrifice for Love?

coupleBy Annabel Acton

Last week, one of the sellers on Never Liked It Anyway (the marketplace for breakups where, full disclosure, I work) is selling a bottle of ketchup. She says she always hated the stuff, and now that her ex is out of the house, she wants it out of the house too. The bottle is half-used; and she’s throwing in a whole one for free. Bonus! While this is obviously ridiculous, it does bring up the question of compromise. How much is too little? How much is too much?

My sister and I decided to hit the streets of the East Village to take the pulse of the nation and find out exactly, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever given up for love?”

1. Sarah, 24, Personal Trainer

“I once gave up alcohol. I’m a trainer so it’s not like I go that crazy, but no wine with dinner? No champagne at birthdays? No beer at the game? It was the stupidest thing I ever agreed to.”

We’re with you, Sarah. It’s one thing to date a non-drinker, and another if they expect you to abstain in solidarity.

2. Dave, 37, Media Planning

“I dated a vegan for eight months, and after the first two, I became a vegan too. It was hell. I’m sure I gave up other things, I just can’t remember. I was too weak and hungry to really know what was going on.”

When you’re weakened by dietary blows, there’s no telling what else you’ll agree to. We classify this as a gateway compromise: it starts with a dietary change and ends with a full-blown commitment. And you never know, you might end up loving a new food lifestyle. Sadly, that was not the case with Dave. Beware the tofurkey!

3. Lydia 33, Publicist

Lydia didn’t have a story of her own, but one of her best friends had to break up with a guy that kept bees in his backyard. The problem wasn’t that she didn’t like bees, she just happened to be deathly allergic to them. Though a strange tale, it’s kind of amazing to be able to say you went head-to-head with bees over a guy. Especially when they won.

4. Bills 34, Journalist

Bills once dated a guy that hated feet. His boyfriend would insist that he’d wear socks morning, noon, and night.

“So I guess I gave up being barefoot. It doesn’t sound like such a big deal, but it got ridiculous. As soon as he’d leave the house, I’d whip my feet out like I was some kind of addict sneaking around to get a hit of foot freedom.”

We’ve got to hand it to Bills. We’re not so sure we could take such a strange request seriously.

5. Jessie 28, Ph.D. Student

When she lived in London, Jessie dated a guy that was big into Skeleton Racing. For those new to this extreme sport/death wish; it’s where you sled head first down a steep icy slope at an unstoppable pace. That’s right, head-first sledding. On their third date, he took her to try it out and, being the trooper she was, she gave it a go. Yet despite her stellar efforts, he wouldn’t compromise on anything in return.

“Not even what movies we would see,” she said.

She ended up breaking up with him after he threw a fit about having to watch Argo.

6. Matt 35, Sales Manager

“I once broke up with a girl because she didn’t eat any vegetables. Except fries.”

Matt went on to explain that every time they went out, he felt like he was baby-sitting a child, not dating an adult woman. He said his friends gave him grief for ending it for the sake of a zucchini or two, but to him, those veggies represented a lifestyle that nobody was worth forfeiting.

Stay strong, Matt, one day you’ll be lucky enough to find someone equally as weird as you and weird in the same ways.

So there you have it. Whether the sacrifice is sincere or silly, it always seems like a strange thing to have done with a bit of hindsight on your side. Perhaps the key is to address the ridiculous as it crops up to help keep that healthy perspective we all seem to lose sight of.

 

Annabel Acton BIO

annabelAnnabel Acton is the founder of Never Liked It Anyway — a place to buy, sell and tell all things ex (as in exes) so you feel better faster. Going strong since 2012, it’s a fun, pro-active and positive way to move on from those dreaded breakups we all go through. Annabel is a creative strategist, entrepreneur, innovator and globe trotter. With her Never Liked It Anyway project, she’s committed to finding new and exciting ways to help people get back to fabulous.

 

New Mysteries to Add to Your Holiday Reading

146068575cropBy Katherine Sharma
‘Tis the season to stock up on mystery novels for vacation reading. Here are a few highlights of my shopping list for anyone planning to cozy up with a good read for the holidays. At the top of my agenda is the best seller The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters. The story is set in 1922 London, still reeling from World War I, where an impoverished widow and her spinster daughter live alone in their genteel villa and have been forced to take in lodgers. The arrival of a modern young tenant couple of the “clerk class,” disturbs their lives unexpectedly and profoundly, including a steamy lesbian love affair and a shocking murder. The tale has garnered reviews such as “a tour de force” from The Wall Street Journal, “unputdownable” from The Washington Post and “volcanically sexy, sizzingly smart, plenty bloody and just plain irresistible” from USA Today. Meanwhile, why not try out some debut authors to refresh the genre? For example, Shovel Ready, a debut novel from New York Times Magazine culture editor Adam Sternbergh, is set in a near-future New York City after the explosion of a dirty bomb has driven all but the very rich and very poor out of the city. It’s the perfect dystopian hunting ground for the cynical Spademan, a New Jersey garbageman turned hit man (turned anti-hero). In contrast, M.P. Cooley’s Ice Shear is a debut with a conventional small-town setting, but her single-mom cop is a refreshing change from hard-boiled bachelor/bachelorette detectives. June Lyons is a former FBI agent who left the Bureau to care for a terminally ill husband. Three years after her husband’s death, Lyons is a cop in her upstate New York hometown, where she and her daughter live with her father, the retired local police chief. When Lyons finds a body impaled on Hudson River ice, a body that turns out to be the daughter of a local congresswoman, the political implications bring in the FBI–and Lyons’ past with agents who doubt her abilities. Likable mom Lyons soon proves she’s tough enough to handle an investigation loaded with surprise twists and gory deaths. No one does mysteries quite like the British, of course. So check out Precious Thing, a debut novel by Colette McBeth, a former BBC crime reporter. The story centers on Rachel and Clara, who met in high school when Rachel was the shy, awkward new girl and beautiful Clara was the popular one. The two disparate teens formed a deep bond that helped Rachel survive her mother’s alcoholism and school bullies. They lost touch after high school, but they’ve reconnected in their late twenties–only now Rachel is a television journalist with an apartment and a boyfriend and Clara’s life is the one spiraling out of control. When Rachel’s news editor assigns her to cover a police press conference, she is shocked to learn that Clara has been reported missing. Is it abduction, suicide or something else? McBeth’s tale twists around stalkers, secrets, betrayals and CCTV images. To add more to your new-mystery reading list, take a look at the 2015 Edgar Award submissions (not to be confused with nominations or finalists) and then check out relevant reviews: http://mysterywriters.org/edgars/currentsubmissions/#novel

ABOUT  KATHERINE SHARMA

Katherine Sharma’s family roots are in Louisiana, Oklahoma and Texas. But after her early childhood in Texas, she has moved around the country and lived in seven other states, from Virginia to Hawaii. She currently resides in California with her husband and three children. She has also traveled extensively in Europe, Africa and Asia, and makes regular visits to family in India. After receiving her bachelor’s degree. in economics and her master’s degree in journalism from the University of Michigan, Katherine worked as a newspaper and magazine writer and editor for more than 15 years. She then shifted into management and marketing roles for firms in industries ranging from outdoor recreation to insurance to direct marketing. Although Katherine still works as a marketing consultant, she is now focused on creative writing.

Shirtless Bedtime Stories Make Video Debut On TruLOVEstories.com

james

 

Videos bring “shirtless” romance to life 

LOS ANGELES (November 6, 2014)TruLOVEstories.com, the hub site for the BroadLit® publishing company, is giving bedtime stories a new twist—they are going shirtless! This week TruLOVEstories releases the first in a series of videos that offer a wink and an homage to romance novels and the handsome hunks that don so many of their book covers. TruLOVEstories’ first Shirtless Bedtime Story, inspired by the short story Lust With the Proper Strangerdebuts today.

TruLOVEstories asked four heart-melting “model” men to read a story from BroadLit’s series of TruLOVE® Collections. They reluctantly agreed, and we caught it all on camera! And what does happen will not be what you might expect! Watch the men make themselves the star of the story as they read these romance tales—each one funnier than the last.

A new Shirtless Bedtime Story will be debuted each week for the entire month of November. The next three stories are titled Delectable Delight: My Lunchtime Rendezvous, In Love With My Next Door Neighbor, and The Confessions of Candy Apple. All four of these dramatized stories are taken from the pages of two of BroadLit’s TruLOVE Collections: Falling In Love . . . Again and When Love Sizzles. To read the complete story and many other great romance stories, go to TruLOVEstories.com. Each TruLOVE Collection contains a minimum of 13 love stories for and by women of all ages. Each story is true—only the names have been changed to protect the innocent . . .  and the not so innocent.

“We are delighted to see how much fun a man can have reading his girlfriend’s romance stories, and surprised by how much we all perspired as we watched!” says Barbara Weller, BroadLit’s chief marketing officer.

Watch the Lust With the Proper Strangervideo now!

Pop culture is alive and well in BroadLit’s Shirtless Bedtime Stories as each short video gives readers a “fly on the wall” peek at a moment of romance.

In addition to Falling in Love . . . Againand When Love Sizzles, BroadLit has also published ten other TruLOVE Collections as well as seven original novels and one anthology of F. Scott Fitzgerald short stories. BroadLit has love stories for every taste.

All of the books in the TruLOVE Collections series are now available to purchase for $4.99 (ebook) and for $14.99 (paperback) on all major e-retailers, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, as well as on AllRomance.com and on BroadLit’s own branded romance hub TruLOVEstories.com.  All BroadLit books are distributed by Perseus Books’ Constellation Services.

About BroadLit®

BroadLit is unique in that it brings to the market a combination of classic and new romance material through its many multi-media channels. BroadLit’s website hub, TruLOVEstories.com, is specifically designed for women looking for a little romance seasoned with humor. The site offers novels, stories, games, merchandise, contests, videos and other opportunities for building a strong community.

In addition to bringing back to life the assets of True Romance and True Love Magazines in short story anthologies through their TruLOVE Collection series, BroadLit is also publishing original contemporary romance novels.  BroadLit is a Los Angeles-based company launched by the owners of Broadthink, a boutique branding and new business development media company.

 

Media Contact

Stacia Kirby

+1-206-363-1492

Stacia@speakeasy.net

 

 

Title:

Falling in Love . . . Again

TruLove Collection

Book by: Anonymous-BroadLit

Published by: BroadLit

Published: January, 2012

Digital and Print

Price: $14.99 USD

Digital $4.99 USD

Digital $5.99 CAN

Print $17.50 CAN

Fiction

Romance Contemporary

Digital ISBN# 978-0-578-09847-0

Print ISBN# 978-0-9855404-2-5

 

Title:

When Love Sizzles

TruLove Collection

Book by: Anonymous-BroadLit

Edited by: Cynthia Cleveland, Nancy Cushing-Jones and Barbara Weller

Published by: BroadLit

Published:

Digital and Print

Price: $14.99 USD

Digital $4.99 USD

Digital $5.99 CAN

Print $17.50 CAN

Fiction

Romance Contemporary

Digital ISBN# 978-098-59596-3-0

Print ISBN # 978-0-9859596-4-7

 

What Your Husband Does On A Business Trip

hotelHe may not be quite as innocent as he seems!

The flight attendant glided down the aisle, taking drink orders. “Would your wife care for a beverage?” she queried, referring to my seat companion, who was dozing.

“I don’t really know,” I responded. I didn’t correct the stewardess’s incorrect presumption of our marital status. She could be forgiven for not realizing that we were traveling from continent to continent hardly knowing one another. The truth was, I had met Britney only six days before.

I was the director of marketing for one of our country’s largest conglomerates. We had chosen to expand into the cosmetic industry, and we had made a provisional deal to acquire a noted brand name. It was privately owned, available for purchase, and we had leaped at the opportunity. We were entering the final twenty days of our due diligence examination of their company to assure ourselves that there were no unpleasant surprises. Their finances looked solid, and their U.S. operation was fine. I just needed to spend two weeks in Japan, their second-largest market, to ascertain that all was satisfactory there.

Although I was perfectly capable of evaluating the company’s marketing and advertising, I  had no competency in judging the quality of their product line. Certainly, there was no one within the conglomerate with that kind of knowledge. It had not been easy to find someone with the cosmetic product expertise who could fly to Japan with me for a couple of weeks.

However, fortuitously, the beauty editor of an international fashion magazine had recently announced her retirement. The publisher had brought in an experienced editor to fill the vacancy, causing Britney, the young, talented associate beauty editor, to resign her position. The timing was perfect for me. Britney was fully knowledgeable about cosmetic and skincare products, and she was available for my two-week assignment.

When I had interviewed Britney the week before, it’d seemed to be an easy decision for each of us. I required her expertise, and she appeared to be interested in the well-paying project. Only at the end of the interview had there been any complication.

“The assignment sounds fascinating.” She had hesitated a moment, and then added, “Do I understand that you and I would be traveling together to Tokyo for two weeks?” She was pleasant, but wary. “Alone?”

I nodded. “Yes. Would that be a problem?”

“I want you to know that I’m engaged,” she said earnestly.

“Well, that makes us even. I’m married, with two darling little daughters.” It was technically correct, although my wife and I had been experiencing major marital problems, and we were planning to separate upon my return from Japan. Still, I figured that I had better not mention any of that if I wanted Britney to accept the assignment. “Britney, please don’t worry. We have an important job to do here. This trip is all about business, and nothing more.”

She paused. “I would like to discuss it with my fiancé. May I give you a final answer tomorrow?”

I agreed.

The following morning, she had accepted. Over the next couple of days, I made arrangements and booked appointments in Japan. Now, we were in the sky, taking the long flight from New York to Tokyo.

“I’d love a Diet Coke,” the sleepy voice next to me spoke. I had ordered a scotch, and we spent the next couple of hours getting to know each other.

Britney had graduated from Vassar with a major in art history. During the ten years since college, she’d worked in product development and product management, first at Estee Lauder, and then at Revlon before joining the magazine staff. She had not traveled since her junior year in college, which she’d spent in Florence, Italy. The opportunity to see Japan was tremendously exciting for her, she told me.

I was incredulous. This extremely attractive, fashionable New Yorker had not traveled at all during the past ten years. She shopped at Bergdorf’s and Henri Bendel, was familiar with the finest restaurants of Manhattan, and knew the city’s museums and galleries intimately. And yet, she really had very little exposure to the world.

“Why have you chosen to stay so close to home?” I asked her.

“Damon doesn’t really enjoy traveling.”

“Damon is your fiancé, I assume? How long have you two been together?”

“We’ve been engaged for eight years.”

I had never heard of an eight-year engagement. I tried not to let my astonishment show. “How does that happen? Do you live together?” I asked gingerly.

“We see each other on weekends. Damon’s a brilliant oncologist. He doesn’t want to get married until he’s fully established. What about you?”

I told her about my career, in which I’d alternated between the advertising agency world and client-side employment at marketing-oriented companies. I was only a few years older than she was, but I’d been married for ten years. Now, the marriage was ending, but I didn’t mention that  to Britney. I showed her photographs of my two daughters.

“What’s your wife like?”

I described my wife, a lovely lady, a marvelous mother, and an avid and talented teacher in the suburbs. I commuted from our home in Westchester to work in New York City. I avoided telling Britney about how my wife and I had grown apart. Somehow, I felt that that would have seemed to contradict my original conversation with her. At any rate, perhaps she sensed my marital problems.

“I think loyalty is the most important thing between a man and a woman,” Britney said.

“More important than love?”

“Perhaps.”

“I suspect you would add patience and perseverance to your attribute list,” I rejoined, referring to her lengthy engagement.

She laughed. “Touché.”

By the time we landed in Tokyo, we’d discussed our upcoming schedules for the next two weeks. Britney would be visiting the cosmetic company’s Japanese manufacturing operation; she would be conducting store checks at the retailers that stocked their products; and she would be interviewing Japanese consumers to the extent that language permitted. I would be spending my time at the company’s offices, and at their distributors and advertising agencies. We would each have full schedules.

Our plane touched down at Narita Airport. Britney and I were tired, well-fed, and now good friends. The cosmetics company had sent two people to collect us and our bags, and to escort us to our hotel. For the first time, it occurred to me how much they were determined that I enjoy this trip; the acquisition was very important to them.

We checked into the Hotel Okura. As I signed the registration form for our two rooms, the man behind the counter glanced quickly at Britney, then turned to me and said in a soft-spoken, dignified manner, “Perhaps you would prefer a larger, double room, sir.”

I may have hesitated imperceptibly, but I remembered well what I had committed to Britney at our very first meeting. “No, thank you. Separate rooms, please.”

Our rooms were next to one another. We each unpacked, showered, changed, and then met  to explore the hotel. This would be our home for the next two weeks, and we walked a bit outside to get some fresh air and to become oriented to the Roppongi district in which the hotel was located. It wasn’t until we returned to our rooms that we discovered that there was a connecting door between them.

“I thought that registration clerk had a gleam in his eye,” Britney mused. By now, we were comfortable enough with one another to laugh at that unintended feature of our accommodations.

Exhausted, we were ready for sleep. We had appointments the next morning, Britney at the company’s manufacturing facility, and I at their business offices. So we made arrangements to have an early room service breakfast in my room, and then I wished her good night at her door.

“You could stay with me tonight, if you’d like,” I said, jokingly.

“This trip is all about business,” she reminded me. We shared a friendly hug.

At breakfast the next morning, we made plans to meet for dinner that night. Then we caught taxis for our respective destinations.

During the next few days, I had one meeting after another. As was typical of so many international companies in Japan, Japanese executives filled the cosmetics company’s senior positions, and the middle-management people were generally Americans. I spent time with each of them. I met also with the owners of the five distributor firms that were responsible for selling the company’s products in Japan. This particular company is truly an anomaly in Japan, since it is one of only a few U.S. companies that were introduced into the country prior to World War II. As a result, it is a fixture in Japanese culture, more similar to Japanese beauty brands, such as Shiseido and Kao, than to more recent American arrivals, such as Revlon.

Britney was fully occupied, as well. She spent her days talking to the production people, observing the manufacturing process, and reviewing samples of the company’s products, as well as those of their competitors.

There was one major unforeseen circumstance. Each of the company executives expected to entertain me during my stay. In their male-oriented business society, that meant that I was required to spend every night socializing with men without their wives. When I once suggested that Britney join us, the social rules of the Japanese business environment were explained to me: Britney was no welcomer than were my hosts’ wives.

To adjust to this situation, I developed an unusual schedule for each day. Britney and I would begin the mornings with room service breakfast in my room. Then we would depart for our business agendas. She and I would reconvene in the early evenings and have dinner together in one of the Roppongi restaurants. I would usually begin with a scotch, and Britney, always the nondrinker, would order a Coca Cola. We would share stories from our respective workdays over robatayaki or kaiseki or sushi, finishing with the omnipresent green-tea ice cream. We always ended with her admonition to me to behave myself in the wicked city, as I kissed her good night at the door of her hotel room.

man massagecropI wasn’t pleased about indulging in two dinners each day, but I had little choice. Britney needed to be fed, and I couldn’t insult my Japanese hosts by declining their invitations. After leaving Britney, I would proceed to the lobby, meet my evening’s host, and begin that night’s socializing. We would inevitably dine at a fancy restaurant and follow with the customary drinking at a hostess bar, or, one time, at a fabled geisha bar. After a particularly heavy round of drinking one night, I was taken to a sento, a public bath, for what my host assured me was the perfect antidote to any potential hangover—a bath administered by an attractive young lady, culminating in her blow-drying and styling my hair while I was still in the tub!

woman hotelEach morning, I would describe the previous night’s activities to Britney over breakfast. She usually entered my room through the interior door, and most often, her breakfast attire was the hotel-supplied, white, terrycloth robe, wrapped tightly around her. Our relationship had evolved to the point where seeing one another at breakfast and dinner was the best part of our days. However, the ground rules had been established, and morning and evening hugs and kisses were the extent of our physical relationship.

At the end of the first week, I had planned a surprise for Britney. Since we had no business scheduled over the weekend, I had arranged a three-day sightseeing trip. Late Friday afternoon, we boarded the bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto. The train rushed through the Japanese countryside, allowing us a glimpse of majestic Mt. Fuji in the distance.

Britney was thrilled by the train trip. She had enjoyed Tokyo, despite the obligatory early endings to her evenings. Now, she was traveling through Japan to Kyoto, the country’s greatest treasure.

“This is extraordinary; I’ve never known anything like it, you know,” Britney said as we pulled into the Shin-Osaka station, a twenty-minute taxi ride from Kyoto.

“I’m glad.” I’d been feeling guilty all week about my socializing while she was confined to her hotel room. I wanted desperately to please this lovely, attractive woman.

As the taxi arrived at our hotel, I turned to Britney. “I suppose you would like us to have separate rooms here, too.” I had booked two rooms, but I had not mentioned that to her.

Her voice was soft. “I really think we should. It’s what loyalty and commitment are all about.”

japanese gardensFor the next three days, we filled every available hour with viewing the attractions of the area: the stunning Kiyomizu and Heian Shrines, the glorious Kinkakuji and Ryoanji Temples, Kyoto’s Imperial Palace, the Nijo Castle, and a side trip to Nara, where we strolled through Nara Park and fed the deer. During the evenings, we dined leisurely, free from our weekday constraints of early, rushed dinners. We had experienced Kyoto’s beautiful sights, breathtaking architecture and gardens, and absorbed so much Japanese history, culture, and tradition.

Our train carried us back to Tokyo late Monday afternoon. “I never thought I would love a place as much as I loved Florence,” Britney said. She sipped her Coca Cola and turned to me. “You really know how to make a lady happy.”

“It’s not me; it’s the Coke,” I teased. I was feeling pretty pleased, too.

We had four more days of intensive work in Tokyo. Britney spent much of her time in the city’s enormous department stores: Isetan, Matsuya, Tobu, and Seibu. She interviewed the incredibly polite women and girls who were customers in the stores about their opinions of the cosmetic company’s cosmetic and skincare products. I visited the company’s advertising agencies. I met also with the people at the research and retail audit company, to confirm the company’s market share.

By the following Friday, we had completed our work. It had been an intense and thorough analysis. At the end of the day, Britney and I said our final farewells to our respective company contacts, as the hotel’s secretarial staff typed up Britney’s report to me.

On Saturday, I packed my things, including the silk kimonos I had purchased for my wife and daughters. Britney and I taxied to the airport, boarded our plane, and flew toward home.

Seated on the plane, we discussed our enthusiasm for the company’s Japanese operation. There could be no doubt that it would be a valuable part of the conglomerate. For some reason, the flight of more than twelve hours seemed particularly short upon our return. Perhaps it was our gaining the extra day; flying over, we had lost a day to the International Date Line, and now, we were given it back. More likely, though, it was the ease with which Britney and I related. This woman, to whom I’d been so attracted for two weeks, was now my friend. She had not only done an outstanding job on the business assignment, but she’d taught me so much about loyalty and commitment. Indeed, I realized, suddenly, that I would give my marriage another fervent try.

I reached into my briefcase and extracted the souvenir I’d intended for Britney. I gave her the Coke bottle I’d been carrying; it was covered with Japanese characters.

“Just one of a hundred you emptied,” I told her, grinning.

As we landed, she handed me a wrapped gift. After unwrapping it, I found an art book entitled: Japanese Erotic Prints Through The Centuries. The enclosed card was inscribed to me: The one area NOT covered on this trip!

Britney touched my arm. “Thank you for the experience of my life. Let me know what happens with the company.”

I assured her that I would.

I caught only a glimpse of Damon’s back at the airport before I met my wife with an embrace. That night, I told her that I thought we should give our marriage another chance. We had made a commitment to one another, I said, and we should find a way to make it work.

The middle of the next week, the president of the conglomerate, the director of finance, and I presented our purchase recommendation to the board of directors. The Board approved it, and a month later, the cosmetics company became a new division of our conglomerate.

After the Board presentation, I wandered back to my office, and, as I accessed my voicemail messages in habitual fashion, I heard the familiar voice: Britney. I listened carefully.

“It was an incredible trip. I learned so much from you—most importantly, about myself. I broke up last night with Damon, something I should’ve done long ago. I hope you call me, but, please—call only if you’re interested in a serious relationship with me.”

I took a deep breath as I looked toward the telephone. I sat for a couple of minutes. Then I headed out the door of my office and made my way to the commuter train. My wife and I were to have dinner that night, as we began our reconciliation effort.

New York is a big city, and I lost track of what happened to Britney.

That doesn’t mean I never wondered.

Taken from the September 2003 Issue of True Love Magazine

Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Couple Relaxing In Bed Helen E. Fisher, PhD biological anthropologist, and Research Professor in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University, has written a new book entitled, Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. 

In the book,  Fisher offers a new map of the phenomenon of love—from its origins in the brain to the thrilling havoc it creates in our bodies and behavior. Working with a team of scientists to scan the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love, Fisher proved what psychologists had until recently only suspected: when you fall in love, specific areas of the brain “light up” with increased blood flow. This sweeping new book uses this data to argue that romantic passion is hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. It is not an emotion; it is a drive as powerful as hunger.

She discusses the idea of love and the brain in her TED talk:

Helen also brings up the idea of personality and what attracts certain ones to others. She suggested you take the personality quiz here

And what do you do if you are already in a wonderful relationship? How well do you know your partner? Take the Anatomy of Love Quiz Here

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Coming to Big Screen

pride and prejudice and zombies1“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” This is one of the witty lines you can find in the 2009 parody book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies written by Seth Grahame-Smith. After several unsuccessful attempts, it now looks like the big screen film adaptation of the popular novel is finally getting a green light.

Hot British actors Lily James (Elizabeth Bennett) and Sam Riley (Mr. Darcy)  have been set to lead the film that mixes the 1813 Jane Austen classic Pride And Prejudice with a legion of bloodthirsty undead. James is best known for her role as Lady Rose on Downton Abbey and Riley for his role in Maleficent.

Principal shooting will commence in September, unless of course the zombie apocalypse happens first.

Scarlett Johansson Keeps Surprising Us

Scarlett Johansson The Woman:

Tony and BAFTA award-winning actress Scarlett Johansson (Lucy) has proven to be one of Hollywood’s most talented young actresses. The Golden Globe Award nominee recently starred in Marvel’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier, opposite Chris Evans; Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin; and Jon Favreau’s ensemble comedy Chef, opposite Robert Downey, Jr. and Dustin Hoffman. In addition, she lent her voice to Spike Jonze’s critically acclaimed sci-fi romance Her, in the role of Samantha, an operating system, and earned the Best Actress Award at the Rome Film Festival. Continue reading

Official Trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey

DAKOTA2crop

The trailer for the Fifty Shades of Grey film has finally been revealed, giving fans a first look at Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele on screen.

The film, which has been directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, sees Christian Grey played by a youthful Jamie Dornan with Dakota Johnson in the role of college student Anastasia Steele.

The anticipated movie has been co-produced by Fifty Shades of Grey writer EL James, and has been timed for a Valentine’s Day release in 2015.

Yes, there’s fleeting glimpses of some of the racier material from EL James’ best-seller – although those expecting a sizzling page-for-page re-enactment may well be disappointed, following reports the sex scenes have been toned down for the screen.

A source previously admitted: ‘It’s less racy than the book,’ while those who viewed early footage of the film back in March declared it ‘surprisingly tame’, with suggestions that the focus was more on romance than raunch.

*UPDATE In the week since Universal and Focus Features premiered the trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey, the 2 1/2-minute promo has become the biggest online trailer launch in history, the studio said. Universal scored more than 100 million views across all platforms in a week. That is about the number of books sold globally.

Arrested For Promoting Great Sex!

Dominating beauty in handcuffs

 

They call my house the “Playgirl Mansion”

Here’s how to start a commotion:

Take a group of women, invite them into your living room, and introduce them to the latest products for enhancing their love lives.

On that cool, rainy night, that was exactly what I was doing. Timed to coincide with Monday night football, my Whoopieware party had the house rocking.

“Herb said if I don’t stop buying this stuff, I’m going to kill him,” Nadine Richards, one of my older guests, remarked. “I said, ‘Honey, at least you’ll die happy.’ ”

The younger women shrieked with laughter. She touched her silver bouffant and smiled coyly. “If you want to know the truth, I’m having the time of my life.”

The group applauded and cheered.

Friends having a drink together Katie Randall, a young mother, added: “After the twins were born, I sort of lost interest. I think Clark gave up on me. Then, one day, I found him talking to a cute secretary in his office. I knew then that I had to get my act together. You know that passion fruit body cream that I got last time? Let’s just say he ate it up.”

There was another round of applause, interspersed with a few hoots. Katie blushed demurely.

Twenty women had showed up that night and if their laughter was any measure, they were having a great time.

With this being a fairly small town, I knew many of them. Some were regular attendees, but some of them were new, representing a growing following.

Although I’d hosted more than a dozen Whoopieware parties, I never stopped having fun at them. It was a place where women could get together, share some of their most intimate thoughts, and have a good time. Sure, a few were embarrassed or just curious, but most came back for more.

“What surprises have you got for us tonight, Sherry?” one of my regulars asked.

“New toys and teddies,” I said. “And later, with refreshments, a video entitled Playtime.”

While my guests twittered, I opened my “toy box.” Inside were several new plastic gadgets designed to enhance both male and female response. As I passed them around I brought out edible creams—one in a new cappuccino flavor—and a chocolate thong.

sex toysThere was a teddy made of the sheerest black fabric and a lace-up bustier. There were also scented candles and aromatherapy oils and bubble bath gels. I topped off my demonstration with a board game in which a roll of the dice determined what one partner would be required to do to the other. The object was to teach people new and enjoyable sexual techniques.

“I’ll take all of them,” Nadine said. “That is, assuming the teddy comes in plus sizes.”

“It does,” I replied.

A regular prodded a newcomer to try a sex toy. A timid-looking, middle-aged woman studied a candle.

“Surround your bathtub with lit candles while you and your partner indulge in some aromatherapy in the tub,” I suggested.

The suggestion brought an embarrassed smile to her lips. “I hope to goodness my mother-in-law never finds out where I am tonight. She thinks these parties are just so disgraceful.”

The chatter in the room stopped.

“How so?” I asked.

“She thinks they’re vulgar and immoral, and that somebody needs to put a stop to them.”

My stomach clutched. From the group came a collective groan. Her mother-in-law was Bertha Cochran, a banker’s widow and well-known member of the community.

“But she has never been to one of my parties,” I pointed out.

“Of course not. She’s only heard about them. If she had any idea I was thinking about loosening up her little boy, she’d have me arrested. She’s probably the reason why Hank is so repressed. How we managed to have two kids is nothing short of a miracle.”

She stood up. “I don’t know all of you, but please don’t tell anyone I was here. I even came on foot. Please don’t breathe a word about anything. I shouldn’t have said all those things, but they kind of slipped out. But I just felt I was with people who would understand.”

“Of course we do,” I said. “We’re all friends here. And friends don’t snitch on each other.” Assurances from the others followed.

“I’ll take a few candles and some bubble bath,” she said shyly.

When the evening was over the unsatisfied wife had been sent on her way with a roomful of well wishes, and I’d netted more than five hundred dollars in orders. Not only had it been an enjoyable evening for me, but I’d given others a good time. In addition, I’d be contributing much needed money toward family expenses.

If anyone had told me that I’d be selling sex toys someday to help make ends meet, I wouldn’t have believed it. But when our second child was born prematurely with a host of problems, we went into a financial tailspin.

Davey, who had severe asthma and other lung problems, needed my full-time care. In addition, I had to look after my older son, Jacob. That meant that whatever I did to earn extra money had to be something I could do from home.

I could have sold cosmetics, but I had a special interest in Whoopieware, because similar therapy had helped my husband, Wes, and me transform our sex lives.

The first five years of our marriage were childless. Doctors could find nothing wrong with either of us and said that we simply needed to “relax”. Making matters worse was that the whole ordeal was affecting Wes’ performance.

At one point, he even suggested that maybe I should marry someone else. But that was out of the question; I loved him too much. When I confided my problems to a friend, she handed me a book about sex play, which included descriptions of various sex aids. Before long, we were like new lovers again. The real proof of success came seven years ago, with our first child.

After our second child was born two years ago, I learned about a new company, Whoopieware, in which products are introduced to women at gatherings in private homes. Seeing it as just the extra-income opportunity I’d been seeking, I hosted my first party. Just a few adventurous friends came, but my clientele has since grown to several hundred women. I like to think I’m helping them have the time of their lives.

My business, which I advertised discreetly in my sister’s beauty shop, has been a source of amusement more than anything in our town of about thirty thousand. Of course, there had been a few negative comments. But until tonight, I hadn’t heard of anyone who wanted the parties shut down.

After the party, as I was putting away the last of the folding chairs, the front door opened. It was Wes and the boys.

“Hey,” he greeted me, smiling. “How many ladies did you make happy tonight?”

I gave him a quick kiss and hugged the kids. “About twenty. We had a lot of fun. I’ll get about two hundred and fifty dollars. Not bad for one night’s work.”

“Some of the guys were teasing me during halftime. Max Thornberry said, ‘I bet there must be some good times at your house.’ I told him to send his wife over, but he claimed he was so great in bed that she didn’t need any of that. Can you imagine Max, who can’t see his feet for his pot belly, as some kind of Hugh Hefner?”

“It’s difficult,” I conceded.

“One guy asked me how things were going in the Playgirl Mansion!”

Exasperated, I shook my head. “Wes, I hope you don’t mind being ribbed. You’re not embarrassed by what I do, are you?”

“No, honey, and don’t you ever think that,” he said, taking me into his arms. “They’re teasing me because they’re jealous, and they have good reason to be. You know I’m your biggest supporter—and we both know why.”

“I don’t mind the teasing if you don’t. I’m used to it. It’s to be expected. But one of the ladies tonight said her mother-in-law said the parties ought to be shut down.”

He frowned. “She can think whatever she wants, but there’s nothing she can actually do.”

“I know. But it’s hard not to take something like that personally, like I’m some sort of a madam.”

“Why don’t you invite her to your next party?” His eyes twinkled with mischief.

“She’s a widow, Wes.”

“Okay. Make her a merry widow!”

I landed a playful punch on his muscled arm. “You’re crazy, but I love you anyway.”

“Mommy!” Jacob interrupted. “Can we play this?”

I turned to find him toting the sex game I’d accidentally left on the dining room table. On the lid of the container was a picture of a naked couple squirting each other with chocolate syrup.

I snatched it away from him. “No, honey.”

“Why not?” His large brown eyes were round and inquiring.

“Because it’s an adult game. It’s not for kids.” I groped for the right words. “It’s too complicated for kids.”

“But it doesn’t look hard,” Jacob countered. “It looks like paintball.”

“Games are like books,” Wes explained. “There are some you’re not ready for yet. They have too many words you haven’t learned yet.”

“Oh,” Jacob said.

I turned to Wes with a feeling of relief. “While I finish putting things away, why don’t you start getting the boys ready for bed?”

“Okay.”

As they disappeared into the hallway, I stuck the game in my “toy box” and took a quick inventory to make sure no devices, which would really be hard to explain to a seven-year-old, hadn’t accidentally been left lying around. The “toy box,” in turn, was placed on a top shelf in our bedroom closet.

The explanation I’d given Jacob for my monthly parties was appropriately vague. I called them “tea parties” for a group of friends. I wasn’t deceiving him; I was protecting him. He simply wasn’t ready for that type of information.

With Davey, the issue was still irrelevant. He was barely two. But the situation that night reminded me that it was something I’d eventually have to deal with. I wasn’t ashamed of my business, but I didn’t want my children to be embarrassed by it. I wanted to raise them to be informed, open-minded, and comfortable with sexual issues.

But in the meantime, I wanted to keep my children’s world separate from the adult world just as long as possible.

A few days later I stopped at my sister’s beauty shop for an overdue haircut.

“Heard you had a great party the other night,” Kim said, combing out my wet hair. “Renee Winchester was in the other day. She said she bought one of those board games.”

I giggled. “Is there anything you don’t hear?”

She began sectioning off my hair. “Not much. Erin Mabry is expecting twins.”

“Another satisfied Whoopieware customer,” I joked.

salon “Now if I could just manage to get the attention of that new junior high football coach,” she said wistfully. Kim was twenty-eight and an attractive brunette, but she’d yet to meet the right man.

“Let me know if you do,” I said. “I’ve got some things that will run up his score.”

She laughed. “You always were the adventurous one, Sherry!”

I glanced at a display shelf where I’d placed a small plastic case for Whoopieware brochures. There was only one left. “I’ll bring some more brochures tomorrow.”

“They go fast. Some just read them, giggle, and put them back. I saw one lady slip one into her coat pocket when she didn’t think I was looking.”

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of a bell, signaling that someone had just walked in. I glanced in the mirror to see a couple who appeared to be in their thirties. I didn’t recognize them. Kim’s partner was busy at the shampoo sink, so Kim stepped over to greet them.

“Hi. Can I help you?” she asked.

The couple looked at each other and laughed nervously. “Do you sell Whoopieware here?” the man asked.

“No, but the lady you’re looking for is sitting right here,” she said, motioning toward me.

I swiveled around in my chair to face them. I was suddenly self-conscious. Half my dark hair hung down while the other half was clipped in tufts.

“I’m Sherry, the local representative,” I said. “Please excuse my appearance.”

“She’s under construction,” Kim joked.

“We’re the Browns,” the man said. “We’d like to look over your product catalogue. We’re interested in buying some things.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t sell things at the beauty shop. They’re sold at parties. I’ll be hosting another one next month. They’re for women only. Not even my husband attends. Mrs. Brown, you’re welcome to come.”

“Thank you, but we were hoping to pick up some things sooner,” she said. “You see, we’re going on a trip soon. It’s for our tenth anniversary and we really wanted to make it special. Isn’t there any way you could make a special order? It would mean so much to us.”

I sighed. How could I say no to a couple eager to celebrate such an important milestone? Wasn’t the whole object of my business to help keep couples together?

“I think I can make an exception under the circumstances,” I said. “But I may have to do a rush order, and that costs a little extra.”

Mrs. Brown’s face brightened. “We don’t mind, do we, honey?”

“No,” her husband said.

“If you’ll give me your address, I’ll put a catalogue in the mail today.”

“Um, could we just come by and pick one up?” she asked

“Sure, if you’d prefer.” I grabbed my purse and handed them my card. “My husband is at home now. I can give him a call and have him hand you one.”

“That would be great. Thank you so much. We’ll get back to you as soon as possible with an order.”

“You’re welcome,” I said, pleased.

“That took some nerve,” Kim said after the couple left. “I don’t think I could announce publicly that I couldn’t wait to get my hands on some sex toys.”

Sandra Meyers, who was getting her roots touched up by Kim’s partner, laughed. “Who were they, anyway? I’ve never seen them before.”

“Neither have I,” said Holly, the other stylist. “They must be new. Maybe they’re connected to the new window factory.

I shrugged. “Obviously they found out about Whoopieware somehow. They could be somebody’s out-of-town relatives, but it seems they would have mentioned that. Oh, well—I’ll find out when I place the order.”

Quickly, I called Wes and asked him to slip a catalogue into a brown envelope.

Other than being glad over the prospect of making a few extra dollars, I didn’t give it much more thought as Kim cut the other half of my hair.

When I got home about an hour later, the couple had already picked up the catalogue. I also learned they’d come by the house earlier and that Wes had told them where I was.

“Did they say anything?” I asked.

“They just thanked me.”

I sighed. Whoever they were, I was hoping they would find plenty of things of interest.

As it turned out, they did. Just after lunch, they called with an order for several sex toys, a vibrating device, edible body cream, and Whoopieware’s skimpiest teddy. After thanking them, I asked if they were new in town.

“Well, uh . . . sort of,” Mrs. Brown said. She didn’t volunteer any additional information.

Not wanting to pry, I told her that I’d give her a call when the order arrived.

Four days later, the package came. That evening she came by herself to pick it up. She paid for the items in cash, then asked for a signed receipt, which I very gladly provided.

“I hope you enjoy your trip,” I said. “I have a feeling that you will.”

She gave an embarrassed laugh, thanked me, then hurried out the door.

“Who was that, Mommy?” Jacob asked.

“Her name is Mrs. Brown.”

“What was in that box?”

“Just some household items.”

“What for?”

“Just to keep around the house. Now, don’t you have a spelling test tomorrow?”

“I’ve already studied.”

“Let’s see how well you know your words,” I said, hustling him off to the den.

I thought of what I’d just told him and bit my bottom lip. I didn’t lie to him, but how much longer would it be before I ran out of creative answers for his questions?

One weekday morning, several weeks later, I was getting ready for another Whoopieware party when the phone rang.

“Mrs. Sherry White?” the male caller asked.

“Yes.”

“This is Sergeant Franklin with the police department. I’m calling to notify you that a warrant has been issued for your arrest.”

My mind went blank with confusion. “There must be some kind of mistake. You must have called the wrong White—”

“No, ma’am, I’m afraid not. You’re being changed with selling obscene objects. That’s a violation of state law.”

I turned cold. “How could that be? These are romance products. They’re not obscene objects.”

“According to the laws of our state, an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ, or an item designed for the purposes of sexual stimulation. The products you sold our undercover agents fit that description.”

My breath caught. “You mean that couple who came to my house . . . ”

“I’m afraid so.”

I crumpled. “I can’t believe this! These products are sold in adult stores. I’ve never hear about raids on them. What’s going on here?”

“I’ll explain when you come to the station.”

“Come to the station?” I repeated numbly.

“Yes, ma’am. I’ve giving you a chance to come down voluntarily. If you don’t, we’ll have to come and bring you downtown.”

My breakfast started to churn inside me as I envisioned myself handcuffed and being put into the backseat of a squad car.

“Who’s behind this?” I asked.

“We got a complaint. That’s all I can say.”

“Can’t this be settled in some other way? I’m not a criminal. I’m a wife and mother who is just trying to make a little extra money.”

“I’m sorry, but a warrant has been issued by a judge. It’s my job to serve it.”

“How long have I got to come down?”

“Twenty-four hours.”

I hung up with a shuddering sigh. The mother-in-law of one of my party guests—had she done this to me? What was I going to tell my husband? What was I going to tell the boys?

After taking a few moments to get myself together, I called Wes.

“I’ll be right home.” His voice was tight with anger.

About twenty minutes later he came through the door, not bothering to take off his coat. His face was flushed as he gathered me into his arms.

“This is ridiculous,” he said. “I’ll call the police chief.”

But the call was in vain. The chief said he sympathized, but it was their responsibility to enforce the law, no matter how quirky and out-of-date it was. A complaint had been filed and they had to act on it. Like the other officer, he refused to reveal who the complainant was.

“I’m sorry,” Wes said after hanging up. “Other than getting a lawyer, I don’t know what else to do.”

“You know we can’t afford to hire a lawyer.”

“We can’t afford not to.”

“I’m so sorry, Wes, but I’m doing nothing wrong.”

“I know you’re not. I’m behind you all the way.”

The following day Wes went with me to the police station, where we met the officer who’d called me. A thin, weathered man with graying hair, Sergeant Franklin photographed and fingerprinted me, adding to my humiliation. I wanted to lash out, but I knew I would only be hurting myself.

I learned that I was being charged with selling “obscene” devices. It was a misdemeanor, but that was no consolation. I could still face up to a year in jail and a four thousand-dollar fine. I would be notified when to appear before the judge.

On the way home I was in tears. “I want to know who did this to me.”

“We’ll get a lawyer,” Wes said, squeezing my hand. “We’ll get this sorted out.”

I wanted so much to believe that, but I could tell by the slight wobble in his voice that he was just as worried as I was.

That evening I was forced to try to explain things to Jacob. I knew word would soon get out and I wanted him to hear it first from me. Struggling to stay calm, I pulled him on my lap as Wes sat next to us.

“Jacob, do you remember the game you wanted to play and I said it was a grownup game?”

“Yes.”

“Well . . . at my parties I sell things that are for grownups only. There are some people who think I shouldn’t sell those things. They want the police to stop me. Today I had to go talk to the police about it. Now I have to talk to a judge about it, and explain why I think I did nothing wrong.”

“But why would someone want to stop you from playing games?”

“Because they don’t like the games.”

“Why?”

“Because they think they are bad games.”

Why?” he asked, looking pretty bewildered.

“Because they are about lovemaking—kissing and things like that. But your father and I and our friends all disagree with that. We think it’s good that couples who love each other kiss and hug and play games together.”

I explained that he might hear remarks being made, but not to worry, that I believed I had done nothing wrong and that a lot of people stood behind me.

I gave him a hug and silently prayed that he wouldn’t be hurt by my circumstances. But a few minutes later, when a newspaper reporter called, I realized the situation could be even more trying than I’d anticipated.

The following day the newspaper story came out, reporting that I’d been arrested for selling “erotic devices.” I was quoted saying that I believed I’d done nothing wrong in trying to help couples improve their relationships. Immediately, the phone started ringing. Most were calls from my clients.

“Honey, if there’s anything I can do—baby-sit, house-sit—I’ll do it.” It was Nadine.

Several offered to make contributions toward my defense and testify in my behalf. If there was any upside to this awful fiasco, it was this outpouring of support from my friends. It brought me to tears.

But there were heckling calls, as well. “Smut-peddler,” one woman snapped and hung up. “If you don’t pay for this now, you will in the afterlife,” an old man railed. After someone called with a suggestive remark, I unplugged the phone.

Later that day, there was some good news: A lawyer friend had agreed to take my case, and Whoopieware, which had never had a consultant charged with obscenity before, decided to pay my legal expenses.

“I just don’t understand how this could happen,” I told Gary Bartley, my attorney. “Why aren’t people running adult stores arrested? They sell similar products.”

“It’s because they call them ‘novelties’,” he said. “Under our state law it’s okay to sell or promote them as novelties, but not as sex aids.”

My head spun. “But no matter what you call them, they’re used for the same thing.”

“You’re right. That’s what makes the law contradictory. Under the law, owning the items is legal, but selling or promoting them as anything other than a ‘novelty’ is not.”

“How am I going to get out of this then? I can’t go to jail. I have two children.”

“I think the best approach is to challenge the law. If it’s legal to own these products, then why is it illegal to sell them? You can lie about the products and sell them and you’re within the law. But if you tell the truth and sell them, you’re breaking the law. The law is flawed.”

I agreed that something needed to be done. I didn’t want anyone else to go through what I had.

“It will take a while and legal cases are always stressful,” he warned. “The question is, are you up to it? You can plead guilty to violating the state’s obscenity law, get it over with and go on with your life, or you can fight it.”

“I want to fight it,” I said without hesitation.

The consultation with my attorney had given me new strength. But that began to waver the following day when I picked Jacob up from school. I could tell from his troubled expression that something was wrong.

“Mom, Danny Ketchum said you got arrested for selling dirty pictures. Is that true?”

My stomach tightened. I’d expected Jacob to take some flak for this, but judging from the hurt and bewildered look on his face, there was no way I could have completely prepared him for it. Seeing him hurt made me hurt.

“Yes, I got arrested . . . but it wasn’t for dirty pictures.”

“Then what was it?”

“It was for games and toys for—for adults. Some people think that’s bad, but most people don’t. It’s one of those few people who reported me to the police.”

“Who reported you?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Are you going to have to go to jail?” There was a hint of fear in his voice. “Danny said you were.”

“No, I don’t think so.” I reached over and squeezed his hand. “My lawyer is working hard to prove I did nothing wrong. I would never knowingly do anything that would take me away from you, Davey, and Daddy.”

“Some of the other kids were looking at me and laughing.”

His words drove the ache deeper into my heart. “I’m so sorry, honey, but none of this is your fault. Remember that I love you. If anyone bothers you again, tell them this is all a big mistake, and it’s going to get straightened out.”

He was quiet for the rest of the ride home, but I could tell he was still concerned and confused. No matter how hard I tried to explain things, I could only go so far. At seven, he simply wasn’t ready for much more.

For Jacob’s sake I tried to be cheerful that evening. I made him his favorite dish—macaroni and cheese—and spent extra time playing with him and Davey.

But all the while I silently fumed. Whoever had done this to me had hurt my child. That was what bothered me most of all.

“I’m going to find out who reported me,” I told Wes after putting the boys to bed. “I want him or her to realize what they’ve done.”

“Do you think it would make any difference?” he asked.

“I don’t know, but maybe it will make me feel better.”

He put his arm around me. “Don’t worry about it. I doubt if it’s anyone we know. Let’s just focus on putting this behind us.”

“I hope I’m not causing too many problems for you.”

“A few people have brought it up, but it’s no big deal. Most people think the police ought to concentrate on more important things, like drunk driving. Don’t worry about me.”

I kissed him good night, but I had trouble sleeping. Despite his show of support I knew that this was an ordeal for him, too.

In the meantime, my curiosity about who had turned me in only grew, along with my indignation.

The next day I phoned Mrs. Cochran, whose daughter-in-law had reported that she disapproved of my parties. When I identified myself, there was a pause at the other end of the line.

“Under the circumstances, I know that my calling you may be a bit of a surprise . . . ”

“You’ve got nerve if you’re trying to sell me something,” she snapped.

“No, no. That’s not the way I operate, Mrs. Cochran. I called about something else. I know that there are a number of people in town who disapprove of what I do. . . . ”

“There certainly are,” she interjected then.

“Whoever reported me had that right. But I’d like to talk to that person, to better help them understand my situation.”

“Why are you calling me about this?” she demanded.

“Perhaps you know who did this,” I said delicately. “I would like to talk to them with the hope that they would withdraw their complaint. I can deal with this, but I hate to see my husband and child suffer.”

“You must think that I had something to do with this,” she retorted. “I did not. I don’t know where you would get such an idea.”

“Do you know who did? I’m asking for the sake of my family.”

“You should have thought of your family before you started having those disgraceful parties. A decent mother would not be peddling pornography. The whole thing is disgusting. And furthermore, even if I did know who reported you, I wouldn’t tell you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mrs. White, I have things to do.” The line went dead.

I stood by the phone, frozen with disbelief. I struggled to hold back tears. No one had ever maligned me as a mother before. It was the worst thing anyone could have said. Were other people thinking that, too?

Stunned, I picked Davey up off the floor and held him close, listening to his labored breathing. No one could love their children more than I did. I read to him a while, then got up with a new resolve. I was not going to let people shame me.

I continued to receive calls of support from my clients. That meant a lot to me. But one day I got some news that I hoped could help with my case. It came from Nadine.

“I found out who turned you in,” she said.

My blood surged. “Who?”

“Beverly Vickers.”

“I don’t know her.”

“She’s lived here only a few years. Don’t ask me how I found out. All I can say is that a friend found out from someone she knows. That person is a volunteer for an agency that helps the physically disabled. Beverly Vickers volunteers there, too.”

A new energy took hold of me. “Maybe I can talk to her, let her know that I’m not the bad person she thinks I am. Maybe she will reconsider.”

“Please don’t let her know how you found out,” Nadine said. “My friend would kill me. She’d never trust me again with any more gossip.”

“You have my word. Thank you so much, Nadine.”

“I don’t know if I’ve been any help, but you can give it a try.”

I thought about calling Mrs. Vickers, but in the end I decided to go to the rehabilitation thrift shop where she volunteered. I thought it would be my best chance of our meeting face to face. The following afternoon I strapped Davey into the backseat and drove to the center.

Pushing him in his stroller, I entered the thrift shop. There were several women behind the counter. My heartbeat quickened. “Is Beverly Vickers here?”

“I’m Beverly,” a middle-aged woman wearing glasses said.

“Could I talk to you privately for a few minutes?”

She looked baffled. “Why, I suppose so.”

She led me to a staff break room and closed the door.

“Mrs. Vickers,” I said, maintaining a friendly tone, “ I’m Sherry White.”

Her gaze turned hard and intense. For a moment she seemed to stunned to speak. “What do you want with me?” she asked finally.

“You know who I am, don’t you? I’m the local Whoopieware representative. There was a story about me in the paper.”

“Yes.”

“I understand that you are the one who turned me in to the police.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Who said?”

“I couldn’t give you the information if I wanted to. The information came to me third-hand.”

She said nothing.

“Mrs. Vickers, you were well within your rights to go to the police. I didn’t come here to cause trouble or create a scene. I just thought if you could meet me, maybe you would see me in a different light. As you can see, I’m a wife and a mother who is trying to help others improve their relationships while earning a little extra money for my family. I’m not a porn peddler.”

“Well, that’s a matter of opinion,” she retorted.

I tried to explain how much fun the women had at the parties and how the products had even saved a marriage or two.

“I don’t know what respectable women would want with things like that,” she said disgustedly.

“They want closer and more meaningful relationships with their partners. Did you know that without some of these devices, some couples wouldn’t be able to have regular sex at all?”

“What do you mean?”

“One of the products I sell enables impotent and handicapped men to perform,” I explained. “You obviously have special feelings for the handicapped, or you wouldn’t be volunteering here. You certainly must feel that they should live life as fully as possible.”

She swallowed hard. “But other people have no need for such rubbish like that.”

“The people who need it would never call it ‘rubbish’. Please think about that, Mrs. Vickers. For some people, it’s a physical necessity. For others, it’s therapeutic. For many, it’s a novel and fun way to express love. Is there anything so wrong with that?”

“What do you want from me?” she asked.

“I’d like for you to consider withdrawing the complaint against me.”

“But you’re breaking the law,” she argued.

“The law is full of loopholes—it may even be unconstitutional. Sex shops sell the same products I do, and it’s legal for them because they call them ‘novelties’. You’re not just punishing me, Mrs. Vickers. You’re punishing my entire family. My seven-year-old is being teased at school over his mother’s business—one he’s not ready to understand yet. Please put yourself in my place.

 

“Your complaint won’t stop me from selling these products. From now on, they’ll be sold legally—as ‘novelties’. So nothing will be really gained by the charge that has been filed against me. I’m asking you to reconsider. I don’t want my family hurt anymore. And if you have any doubts about what I’ve said, please contact my lawyer.”

I gave her his card. She looked at it for a moment, but said nothing.

“Please think about it,” I repeated before leaving.

I’d all but concluded that my visit with Mrs. Vickers had been an act of futility when my lawyer called. He said that she had agreed to withdraw the complaint against me.

My spirits rose like a balloon. “That’s wonderful!”

“Don’t get too excited,” he said. “It’s not over yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“The authorities may want to go ahead and pursue it.”

“But I thought . . . ”

“I’m sorry, Sherry. It’s more complicated than that.”

I hung up, dispirited once again. Still, I was hopeful. But the following day, hope vanished.

“The district attorney is still going to prosecute,” my lawyer said. “Technically, you’ve broken the law, even though the law is flawed. He can’t ignore that.”

“Now what?”

“I’m going to file a motion to dismiss the case, because the law violates someone’s right to own a sexual device, which is not illegal. It’s only illegal to sell one, which makes no sense at all.”

In addition, he said he was also going to file a request for a restraining order that would bar my case from proceeding until a judge rules on whether our state’s obscenity law is constitutional.

In the meantime, I’ve pleaded innocent. The judge has approved a pre-trial hearing, but has not set a date. I am in legal limbo in a case that will take many months to resolve.

Sometimes I’ve wondered if this is worth what I’m putting my family through. I could have pleaded guilty and taken the slap on the wrist that my lawyer thinks I would have gotten and gone on with my life.

But there are bigger issues here. It has to do with the intrusion of my state’s government into the private lives of consenting adults. It has to do with trying to fix the flaw in an outdated law that says sex toys are obscene. It has to do with helping others.

My parties may seem silly, but they have changed the lives of many of my clients and their partners. They have helped couples stay together.

Most importantly, it has to do with standing up for what I think is right. I want to set a strong example for my children. It will be difficult to explain things to them until they’re older. But it would be even harder to explain why I wouldn’t fight for what I believed in.

True Romance: Love & Laughter

Layout 1Many of the relationships in these eleven stories begin as serious tales of rejected advances, broken engagements, sexless marriages and cheating husbands, but just when a happy ending seems impossible, a little laughter brings about a positive outcome! A shallow woman fixated on meeting a handsome but oblivious stranger is charmed instead by a persistent funny guy with a winning personality. The klutzy secretary with a snobby fiancé meets an admirer who finds her clumsiness more endearing than embarrassing. A married couple attempting to rekindle their sex life is faced with the challenge of finding a time and a place for intimacy while raising their two curious little boys, only to realize how much closer they’ve become since their carefree days as newlyweds. Finding a little humor in your relationship can make all the difference!  Continue reading