How Does Stress Devastate Your Sex Life

Silent days is not anything pleasant

Each and every individual has a strong desire for sex and not getting the proper experience in it may turn out to be annoying. Although different people have varied levels of sex drives or libido, it is certain that all of them have definite sexual passions in his or her different ways.

In the biological point of view, sex is a very common factor in humans, and it should not be neglected or, particularly, suppressed. Sex brings in a range of physiological reactions, mostly biochemical and psychological, making a person internally happy and content. Sex drive arises in a person because of several hormonal actions inside the body and is conducted or charged through the libido. So, it is natural concluding the reason to the urge of sex as a completely natural phenomenon required for the sustenance of the overall health of a person, both physically and mentally. However, like various other issues we face in our day-to-day life, our sexual life also gets to face one of the nasty enemies of it because of modern lifestyle. This enemy is known as stress, and the ‘stress factor’ can do a considerable harm in one’s sexual life leaving the person and his or her partner unhappy at the end of a ‘hopeful night’. Let us see what stressful sex can do to our personal lives.

portrait of a woman sitting on the floor with a man reading behindRelationship Issues

Well, the impact on our metabolism is a serious matter delivered to us by stress. According to biology, stress diverts and negatively influences your metabolism level to such an extent that your physique changes. Your physique plays a significant role in your sex life, and a change in it will affect your performance. Your self-esteem in bed will get lower, and a low self-esteem paves the way for weaker sex. This impacts relationship in a considerable way. No one wants that to happen.

Do Not Court Cortisol

Cortisol is the stress hormone of the body, and you need it in a very less quantity. A rise in its level will bring in significant weariness and hormonal changes affecting your sexual traits severely. As a matter of fact, Cortisol suppresses the sex hormones. This results in a lower libido than usual. Stress heightens the production of Cortisol in the human body. Removing stress permanently from your body through your inner sexual powers can become a good choice.

Stress Is Responsible for Harming Our Health Secondarily

Stress is one of those monsters that lead a person to various destructive activities, which again provides a negative impact in sex life. Stress contributes to a person’s psychology and gets it inclined to excessive drinking providing a good amount of alcohol in your blood stream. The excessive alcohol in your blood creates problems for your heart and when you are having heart issues, be sure to have sexual issues.

Hormonal Troubles

It can be hoped that you have learnt about the endocrine systems from your biology classes in your school years. The master glands controlling the other endocrine gland is known as the Pituitary gland harnessing the powers of the other endocrine glands as well as ovaries in women. Stress affects this little pea sized gland and, as an outcome, the overall endocrine system functions improperly. Women can even have disorders in menstruation if they are overstressed. Do not worry, though! Trying a session in the tantric massage service can give you some real benefits. Tantric massage services use your sexual energy to redesign and amplify your sexual energy internally.

That is a lot of sexual stress and its management. Well, whatever the cause is, just keep in mind that a problem is a problem and keeping it a problem will not give you any benefit unless you solve it. The rest is up to you.

A Single Girl’s Guide To Rebounds

Couple embracing

So you’re going through a breakup. Yeah, it sucks, but there are actually a lot of great things that can come out of it. You’re able to devote yourself to your shoe collection; you may discover you’re really great at crocheting; you’re able to get all the puppies you want; nobody to stop you from buying that Moped you’ve always wanted. And, rebounds. It’s like being a kid in a candy store, really. So, here’s a sort of rundown on some of the most common rebound-types you may experience.

The You’ll-Do Rebound

We’ve all been here before. Whether it’s been five hours, five weeks, or five months–you get to a point after a breakup where anyone will do. The guy with the coffee-breath and Ray Bans, the bartender with the tattoos, that basketball player you sat behind in class your freshmen year of college.

The Level-Up Rebound

Happy Couple Enjoying the Party

Like Nicki Minaj and Beyonce, you were really feeling yourself last night. Hell yeah. You scored a major hottie, a level-up from your ex. Confidence booster for sure.

The Virtual Rebound

You’ve connected on Tinder. His bio is hilarious and you find yourself opening up your app just to see if he’s messaged you back. He’ll ask you how your day was and exchange crazy ex stories with you. He’s a great way to distract you from checking to see if your ex has posted anything new on Instagram. Yeah, don’t do that.

The Platonic Rebound

Maybe he’s a friend you’ve known for a while, or maybe someone you’ve just met. Suddenly, he’s becoming something like your best friend. You love spending time with him, he’s funny and brings out this carefree side to you, but there’s no feelings for him… yet.

The Is-It-Love Rebound

Couple Enjoying Night Out At Cocktail Bar

Oh, no. You’ve developed feelings for your rebound. Rebound Rule 101 and you broke it. But hey, you never know, it could be love.

The Rebound-Rebound

No, not your ex! Absolutely nothing good comes from trying to make your ex your rebound. Yes he knows how to please you, but that’s about all the good that will come from a walk down memory lane.

The May-As-Well Rebound

You know it’s time to get back in the swing of things. It’s not that your standards have lowered, but when Grandma says her new neighbor has a cute son, you’re having a hard time finding a reason why you shouldn’t go through with this setup.

From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

Raise Your Glass to Fiction’s Worst Sex Scenes

TS-124819036 Bad Sex Scenes 2

By Katherine Sharma

One of my favorite “literary” awards, the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award, has announced this year’s winner! The award was established back in 1998 by the British Literary Review’s then-editor Auberon Waugh, with the hope of discouraging authors from penning laughably bad fictional sex scenes. It just underscores the challenge of writing erotic and emotionally resonant sexual descriptions that the award hasn’t run short of nominees, and that nominees often include otherwise acclaimed writers.

Despite shaming examples of failed eroticism with a booby prize, authors still stumble into porno slang, off-putting anatomical terms, or strained metaphors of a natural (otters and butterflies), mechanical (plows and pistons), or cosmic (supernovae and black holes) kind. The unintended reader response to poorly written descriptions of sexual intimacy is wincing, gagging or giggling–and sometimes all three. TS-471009230 (1) Bad Sex Scenes 1

A case in point is the 2015 winner, the debut novel List of the Lost by former Smiths vocalist Morrissey, which includes this awful sex romp: “At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”

Nominees for 2015 include The Martini Shot by the celebrated screenwriter of TV’s “The Wire,” George Pelecanos (“I rubbed myself against her until she was wet as a waterslide”); Joshua Cohen’s Book of Numbers (“her breasts were like young fawns, sheep frolicking in hyssop”); and Before, During, After by Richard Bausch (“When she took him, still a little flaccid, into her mouth, he moaned, ‘Oh, lover.’”). For a sampling of fiction’s worst sex scenes by previous winners


Katherine Sharma’s family roots are in Louisiana, Oklahoma and Texas. But after her early childhood in Texas, she has moved around the country and lived in seven other states, from Virginia to Hawaii. She currently resides in California with her husband and three children. She has also traveled extensively in Europe, Africa and Asia, and makes regular visits to family in India. After receiving her bachelor’s degree. in economics and her master’s degree in journalism from the University of Michigan, Katherine worked as a newspaper and magazine writer and editor for more than 15 years. She then shifted into management and marketing roles for firms in industries ranging from outdoor recreation to insurance to direct marketing. Although Katherine still works as a marketing consultant, she is now focused on creative writing.

Where Did The Passion Go?


By Mary Cope

When you’re caught up in the throes of a new relationship the passion between the sheets is intoxicating. That primal, barely controllable, impetuous passion sets the pleasure centers of your brain on fire and you think to yourself, this is awesome!

So why, more often than not, does this desire and sexual intensity eventually stop?
Once the relationship is established, is the honeymoon truly over and if so, can we get
those feelings back?

Communication is the key.

When trust and commitment are established in a meaningful relationship discussing sex
should not be an issue. Communicating your desires should be met with a willingness to be heard and an openness to be transparent. Expressing something you are “into” with your partner should never be received with judgement. This person is opening themselves up to you, stating their likes and dislikes, any type of negative reaction could shut your partner down while making them feel self conscious or bad about themselves. When you allow your partner the freedom to express themselves it opens the door to a healthy sexual relationship.


While some people may find this type of conversation uncomfortable others may find it a
turn on. Whatever the case, discussing sex is necessary. This doesn’t mean you bring up
the subject right before you’re about to have sex, it is better to choose to have this type of
conversation when you’re out of the moment. Although, being verbal during sex is great.
Who doesn’t love positive feedback? Nothing better than hearing, “that feels good,” to
excite you but, when you hear your partner say, “don’t do that, ” nothing takes away the
passion quicker than feeling inadequate. When you are between the sheets, keep things
positive and encouraging.

Listen to one another and compromise. This doesn’t mean you become a doormat taking
part in sexual acts you are uncomfortable with, this simply means you are willing to hear
what your partner has to say reaching a favorable outcome.


And, try not to get hung up on, “should I do this or shouldn’t I?” Whatever is agreed upon
between two consenting adults is acceptable bedroom behavior.
When trust and commitment are at the forefront of a relationship it is than you will feel
comfortable enough to allow your inhibitions to be set free opening yourself up to new

Sex is about intimacy and the connection between two people but it is also about pleasure.
What better way to experience true intimacy than to please your partner in a way they truly enjoy. As each person is an individual so is each libido. Find what works for the two of you, nurture the relationship, communicate your wants and desires and eventually that primal passion you felt in the beginning will come back.

A Tale of Passion, Power and Banking


By Never Liked It Anyway 

This week, we had a chance to talk with first time author Lily Temperley and hear her bad ass and brave story. Her book, FIX: Sex Lies & Banking is making big waves as it reveals her real-life 50 Shades of Gray affair with a powerful businessman. What started out as a fun affair quickly became a sordid tale of a controlling sadist. Lily’s story is honest, empowering and brave.

Lily arrived in London at the tender age of twenty with a dream: to dominate the world and see as much of it as she could while doing so. Reality soon bit with paying her rent becoming paramount, and so it was that she shunned everything she learnt at law school and opted for a shiny, lucrative job in the city.

Roll the clock forward more than a decade, she was married, she was single; she was armed with a list of more than 50 countries visited and she had money. She was hit by an epiphany – she wanted to write.

The basis for her first book (and subsequent two books in their planning stages) is her own life experience. She practically grew up in an investment bank, had jobs working in the executive suites of two of Britain’s largest firms, and has seen both these companies handle catastrophes on a global stage. She also had an intimate relationship with a very senior executive, providing a real life romantic angle to the corporate setting in her new novel.

Here’s what Lily had to say about all things love, loss and moving on!

What do you do and why do you do it?

I currently work for a Financial Services firm. I do it because it supports my lifestyle. I travel a lot for business and pleasure and I can afford to indulge my shoe and handbag addiction!


What’s the best gift you ever got?

The best gift I ever got?… that is a hard one as I have been spoiled many times with fabulous things. I think my favorite gift is an antique sliver matchbox holder with my initials on it. I put it on a belcher chain and wear it as a necklace. It is probably not worth much but it’s from the 1900s and holds massive sentimental value because of who gave it to me and how thoughtful the gift was. I just got a pair of 20th anniversary Louboutins for my birthday which, are pretty awesome.

What’s the worst gift you ever got?

An ex bought me a pair of python skin boots. I love the boots and had coveted them in the store before we broke up. I think it is the worst gift as I didn’t want them from him, but felt I had to accept them, and now I don’t wear them as they remind me of him! Maybe I should list them on!

What’s your advice for all things love, sex and dating?

I think it is so important to follow your heart. I spent a lot of time worrying about whether men liked me and would they ask me out on a second date… when I stopped to think about it, I didn’t fancy them that much so it was more an exercise in seeking external validation. You need to love yourself before you can really be loved by anyone else. As soon as I remember that and am kind to myself I attract the type of man I want to be with. With dating, it can be very hit and miss. I think, as with all things in life, it is important not to take anything too seriously. Have fun!

Finally, with sex, there is so much judgment around this… many woman struggle to draw a line between sex and love and this leads to attachment that can be detrimental to one’s self esteem and, ultimately, unsatisfying. Again, have fun, go easy on judging yourself and listen to your intuition. Usually early red flags will turn into screaming alarm bells so don’t ignore them!


What’s your go to pick me up?

Shopping! Retail therapy always makes me feel better. Even window shopping can improve my mood…

Tell us about your first heartbreak…

I am a hopeless romantic so it was the first guy I ever kissed. It didn’t go anywhere but I was young and had a mega-crush on the guy. I see him now many years later in my Facebook feed with his receding hairline and wonder why I ever thought he was hot!

Tell us about a time you Bounced Back better than ever

The time in my life now… I am feeling very content with who I am and smile thinking about the experiences that I have had. It is nice to know that any feelings of regret have evolved to understanding the lessons learned. Maybe I am finally becoming an adult. Scary to think…

Read More about the book and the author here

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

Why Changing a Tire Is Like Bad Sex

TS-509116181 Changing Tire

By Cassie Ciopryna

Mundane, not so fun tasks can sometimes remind us of another particular activity that (should be) fun. We’ve looked at how the dentist can remind us of bad sex—and now we’ve got another one for you. Changing a tire? Bad sex? I mean, we really don’t see the difference here…

  • You have no clue what you’re doing. We’ve all been there at some point. Wait, where does this go? I have to put my finger where? How do I get this thing off? So many questions. And you just want to get it over with.
  • You work up a sweat. Did I plan on exercising today? It’s like 80 degrees and no A/C on. This is turning to be quite the ordeal and very unexpected. I’d rather go back to bed, or sit in my car.
  • You don’t have all the tools you need to get the job done. What’s the thing called that jacks up the car? And what’s that you say you need in order to get off? Well, I don’t have either of those.
  • You feel like you’re being judged. Ok people, yup, just drive by me all alone clueless on the side of the road. And please, don’t look at me this way when I’m down here. Is this working at all? Yes? No? Some sort of hint please!
  • Undercarriage. That’s the only word I need to say here. It’s probably not really necessary when changing a tire, but again, what’s going on?
  • You might have to call someone for assistance. AAA, a good friend, the person next door. . .hey, who knows who might come in handy here! Sometimes you have to do what you think is best and will work out for you in the long run. Just tap me out, please. I’m done.

TS-124819038 Bad in Bed

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )


How Going To The Dentist Is Like Bad Sex


By Cassie Ciopryna

Going to the dentist can be uncomfortable. Sex with someone new can be uncomfortable too. Sure, sex is great the majority of the time, but we’ve all had those experiences that were, well, less than thrilling. Here’s why a trip to the dentist can make you feel like you’re having some strange, tripped up sexual encounter.

You get squirted in the face more than you’d like to. Ideally, the number of times I’d like this to happen is zero. In reality, this happens a minimum of five times at the dentist. Sure, it might be my own spit or toothpaste or water hitting my cheek, but all that on my face makes me think the same thing as another clearish, white liquid coming at me—not in my eye or hair!

You have a designated spitting funnel. Ok, so this isn’t something that you have IRL during sex, but this could definitely come in handy…AMIRITE?!

Your hair gets pulled. So this only really happens if you have long hair that hangs off the chair as you’re lying back. The dental hygienist/dentist isn’t really looking out for your hanging hair as they slide back and forth to each side of your head. Hair gets pulled with their body leaning against you and wheeling in their wheely chair. It’s not the best hair pulling. But hey, getting your hair pulled is getting your hair pulled.

Your jaw hurts. This shouldn’t be happening in sex if you know what you’re doing (and the guy isn’t holding back). Get down and get it done is what I say! But at the dentist, your mouth is open with something in there for twenty plus minutes. Not fun.


There’s strange dirty talk. “Let’s take a look inside.” “You have beautiful teeth.” “Let me wipe your face off for you.” “Swish this around in your mouth a little.” “Spit.” “Open wide.” I can only hope these dentists don’t say these same things to their S.O. during hanky panky.

This only happens once every 6 months. Although the dentist is scheduled out 6 months ahead of time, it can still be a little unpredictable when it’s appointment time (who remembers appointments 6 months out?!) Like some single gals, this doesn’t come around too often.

You get up from the chair with messy hair. Just like that, it’s finally over, and you look like a hot mess unsure of what you just experienced.

Why Changing A Tire Is Like Bad Sex

How Bad Sex Is Like…Golf

(From Never Liked It Anyway, the number one destination for all things break-ups and bounce-back! It’s the place to buy, sell and tell all things ex! Sell your breakup baggage, tell your story and join the community of rock stars bouncing back better than ever! )

What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Your Sex Life

sex horoscopeBy Laura Agrintar from 

Are you sure you’re having the best sex you could be? Maybe you know you’re a natural-born leader, but haven’t figured out how to use that skill in bed.

Maybe you’re super aggressive and need to take it out (on someone else’s body). Well, you’ve come to the right place.

Who doesn’t enjoy reading about sex? Who doesn’t like to learn about themselves? We’ve combined the two in our newest, “What your astrological sign says about your sex life.” Enjoy, we know you will.

capricornCapricorn (December 22 to January 19)

Capricorns are the missionary position of the zodiac. Loyal, consistent, secure, Capricorns might not be creative, but they definitely get the job done.

They’re super reliable people, which means (good news!) they’ll also carry a condom. Bedding a Capricorn is kind of like wooing a Salem virgin in the 1600s – prudent and reserved at first, but casting spells in bed later on.

Song to get it on: “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye.

aquariusAquarius (January 20 to February 18)

The inventive and exploratory Aquarius is like one of those kinky sex positions you find in a deck of Kama Sutra cards. Their sex fetishes are a little unconventional and daring, but if you aren’t down, use the safety word.

Due to their agreeable natures, they’ll be happy to switch it up. Aquarius aren’t judgers; they had their brief “experimental phase” in college and that one night with two Justin Bieber backup dancers. They’re just as easy to be around as they are to f*ck.

Song to get it on: “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland.

piscesPisces (February 19 to March 20)

Pisces are emotional and nurturing people. They don’t f*ck; they make love. Pisces are like the spooning sex position – they get attached very easily, are super intimate and sometimes in your face. They’ll even mouth-breathe into your hair during a more vigorous romp. Sexy.

Pisces also care deeply about their partners’ needs, which means you’ll always come first. They tend to escape reality from time to time, making their sexual escapades out of this world. Nail one down and a Pisces will be sure to nail you too.

Song to get it on: “Best I Ever Had” by Drake

ariesAries (March 20 to April 19)

True to their sign, an adventurous and impulsive Aries will totally ramyou (preferably from behind). Their “take charge” mentality makes them the doggy style position of the zodiac.

Aries are a little forceful, like to take the lead and have an enthusiastic disposition, which means they were just as turned on by the “50 Shades” dominatrix as you were. If you’re looking for unapologetic and energetic sex, then find yourself an Aries.

Song to get it on: “Crazy in Love” 50 Shades of Grey Remix by Beyoncé

taurusTaurus (April 20 to May 20)

Taurus are lazy and persistent, so they’ll prefer being on bottom, but will throw in some good thrusts. A Taurus man is like the bottom layer of reverse cowgirl — self-indulgent, he’ll let you take the reins, but he will dictate the ride.

A Taurus woman is the ankles-up position — she likes feeling secure and stable and wants you to set the pace. A Taurus is practical and reliable, so (Good news!) there will always be condoms. Don’t expect any one-night-stands, as a Taurus can be a bit possessive. Like their bullish symbol, Taurus don’t like being pushed too hard, so be careful to keep it gentle.

Song to get it on: “Thinkin Bout You” by Frank Ocean.

geminiGemini (May 21 to June 20)

Gemini are energetic and imaginative, making them great partners for oral sex. Their flip-flopping personalities mean that you won’t get the same thing twice. Gemini are curious and spontaneous — they’ve gone to strip clubs on a whim and then tried those moves out in the bedroom.

They can be superficial and into gossip, so don’t be surprised if everyone knows the size of your penis afterwards. Boredom is a Gemini’s biggest fear; expect a wild ride if you climb aboard.

Song to get it on: “S&M” by Rihanna

cancerCancer (June 21 to July 22)

Cancers are affectionate and sensitive and like to make their partners feel good. Because of their intimate and protective natures, they are the “Om” sex position of the zodiac, in which you two are wrapped around each other, rocking back and forth as one, and lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes.

They’re all about feelings, so speak up if you’re not exactly feeling it. Cancers just want to get close to you — both physically and emotionally — so if you’re coming over, expect to stay and cuddle all night. Be prepared to share the bed because there will be no rolling over to opposite sides.

Song to get it on: “Adorn” by Miguel.

leoLeo (July 23 to August 22)

Leos love to be the center of attention, so any sex position where they are the star (of the threesome, the receiving end, on a table) is one in which they will shine. They love drama and being over-the-top, which means you’ll have loud, pornstar-worthy intercourse.

Your neighbors will certainly hear your Leo partner roar. As a fire sign, Leos have passionate and intense love affairs. They always crave the spotlight, so don’t be afraid to whip out the camera for a little fun. Vain and domineering, a Leo will gladly do it in front of the mirror.

Song to get it on: “Look at Me Now” by Chris Brown.

virgoVirgo (August 24 to September 22)

Practical, precise and meticulous, Virgos are any sex position that allows direct access to clitoral stimulation. Virgos tend to be perfectionists and slightly over-critical, so if you’re not hitting their spots, they’ll move on to the next lot.

They are methodical and logical, which means there won’t be any mile-high club memberships or getting down in dirty places. Sand and a Virgo’s crevice just don’t mix. Stick to the bed and they’ll be sure to stick it in you.

Song to get it on: “Crave You” by Flight Facilities.

libraLibra (September 23 to October 22)

Libra are the women on top. They are diplomatic, peaceful and hospitable. Where their strengths lie, however, so do their weaknesses.

As they are vain and superficial, sometimes they only like to be on top to make sure that you’re looking at them and only them. They want you to have a good time, but you better be appreciating them for it. Compliments and flattery are always appreciated.

Song to get it on: “Me and U” by Cassie.

scorpioScorpio (October 23 to November 21)

Observant Scorpios can spot a fake from a mile away, so don’t even think about pretending to orgasm. Fiercely independent and able to accomplish anything they put their minds to, Scorpios are the sex toys of the zodiac.

Like the toys in your goody drawer, Scorpios know how to satisfy themselves, are resourceful, dynamic and can easily manipulate their partners. They like to be in control and are a little harsh, so expect them to dominate you, no lube included.

Song to get it on: “Power Trip” by J. Cole.

sagSagittarius (November 22 to December 21)

Sagittarius are the masturbators of the group. Their strength and their weakness lie in their independence, thus, they have no problem admitting when they can (and will) do something better than you.

They are philosophers and adventurers and freedom lies at the very top of their list of things most coveted. They will have multiple sexual partners or spend weeks by themselves before committing to the wrong person.

Song to get it on: “Grindin’” by Pharrell.


What Your Husband Does On A Business Trip

hotelHe may not be quite as innocent as he seems!

The flight attendant glided down the aisle, taking drink orders. “Would your wife care for a beverage?” she queried, referring to my seat companion, who was dozing.

“I don’t really know,” I responded. I didn’t correct the stewardess’s incorrect presumption of our marital status. She could be forgiven for not realizing that we were traveling from continent to continent hardly knowing one another. The truth was, I had met Britney only six days before.

I was the director of marketing for one of our country’s largest conglomerates. We had chosen to expand into the cosmetic industry, and we had made a provisional deal to acquire a noted brand name. It was privately owned, available for purchase, and we had leaped at the opportunity. We were entering the final twenty days of our due diligence examination of their company to assure ourselves that there were no unpleasant surprises. Their finances looked solid, and their U.S. operation was fine. I just needed to spend two weeks in Japan, their second-largest market, to ascertain that all was satisfactory there.

Although I was perfectly capable of evaluating the company’s marketing and advertising, I  had no competency in judging the quality of their product line. Certainly, there was no one within the conglomerate with that kind of knowledge. It had not been easy to find someone with the cosmetic product expertise who could fly to Japan with me for a couple of weeks.

However, fortuitously, the beauty editor of an international fashion magazine had recently announced her retirement. The publisher had brought in an experienced editor to fill the vacancy, causing Britney, the young, talented associate beauty editor, to resign her position. The timing was perfect for me. Britney was fully knowledgeable about cosmetic and skincare products, and she was available for my two-week assignment.

When I had interviewed Britney the week before, it’d seemed to be an easy decision for each of us. I required her expertise, and she appeared to be interested in the well-paying project. Only at the end of the interview had there been any complication.

“The assignment sounds fascinating.” She had hesitated a moment, and then added, “Do I understand that you and I would be traveling together to Tokyo for two weeks?” She was pleasant, but wary. “Alone?”

I nodded. “Yes. Would that be a problem?”

“I want you to know that I’m engaged,” she said earnestly.

“Well, that makes us even. I’m married, with two darling little daughters.” It was technically correct, although my wife and I had been experiencing major marital problems, and we were planning to separate upon my return from Japan. Still, I figured that I had better not mention any of that if I wanted Britney to accept the assignment. “Britney, please don’t worry. We have an important job to do here. This trip is all about business, and nothing more.”

She paused. “I would like to discuss it with my fiancé. May I give you a final answer tomorrow?”

I agreed.

The following morning, she had accepted. Over the next couple of days, I made arrangements and booked appointments in Japan. Now, we were in the sky, taking the long flight from New York to Tokyo.

“I’d love a Diet Coke,” the sleepy voice next to me spoke. I had ordered a scotch, and we spent the next couple of hours getting to know each other.

Britney had graduated from Vassar with a major in art history. During the ten years since college, she’d worked in product development and product management, first at Estee Lauder, and then at Revlon before joining the magazine staff. She had not traveled since her junior year in college, which she’d spent in Florence, Italy. The opportunity to see Japan was tremendously exciting for her, she told me.

I was incredulous. This extremely attractive, fashionable New Yorker had not traveled at all during the past ten years. She shopped at Bergdorf’s and Henri Bendel, was familiar with the finest restaurants of Manhattan, and knew the city’s museums and galleries intimately. And yet, she really had very little exposure to the world.

“Why have you chosen to stay so close to home?” I asked her.

“Damon doesn’t really enjoy traveling.”

“Damon is your fiancé, I assume? How long have you two been together?”

“We’ve been engaged for eight years.”

I had never heard of an eight-year engagement. I tried not to let my astonishment show. “How does that happen? Do you live together?” I asked gingerly.

“We see each other on weekends. Damon’s a brilliant oncologist. He doesn’t want to get married until he’s fully established. What about you?”

I told her about my career, in which I’d alternated between the advertising agency world and client-side employment at marketing-oriented companies. I was only a few years older than she was, but I’d been married for ten years. Now, the marriage was ending, but I didn’t mention that  to Britney. I showed her photographs of my two daughters.

“What’s your wife like?”

I described my wife, a lovely lady, a marvelous mother, and an avid and talented teacher in the suburbs. I commuted from our home in Westchester to work in New York City. I avoided telling Britney about how my wife and I had grown apart. Somehow, I felt that that would have seemed to contradict my original conversation with her. At any rate, perhaps she sensed my marital problems.

“I think loyalty is the most important thing between a man and a woman,” Britney said.

“More important than love?”


“I suspect you would add patience and perseverance to your attribute list,” I rejoined, referring to her lengthy engagement.

She laughed. “Touché.”

By the time we landed in Tokyo, we’d discussed our upcoming schedules for the next two weeks. Britney would be visiting the cosmetic company’s Japanese manufacturing operation; she would be conducting store checks at the retailers that stocked their products; and she would be interviewing Japanese consumers to the extent that language permitted. I would be spending my time at the company’s offices, and at their distributors and advertising agencies. We would each have full schedules.

Our plane touched down at Narita Airport. Britney and I were tired, well-fed, and now good friends. The cosmetics company had sent two people to collect us and our bags, and to escort us to our hotel. For the first time, it occurred to me how much they were determined that I enjoy this trip; the acquisition was very important to them.

We checked into the Hotel Okura. As I signed the registration form for our two rooms, the man behind the counter glanced quickly at Britney, then turned to me and said in a soft-spoken, dignified manner, “Perhaps you would prefer a larger, double room, sir.”

I may have hesitated imperceptibly, but I remembered well what I had committed to Britney at our very first meeting. “No, thank you. Separate rooms, please.”

Our rooms were next to one another. We each unpacked, showered, changed, and then met  to explore the hotel. This would be our home for the next two weeks, and we walked a bit outside to get some fresh air and to become oriented to the Roppongi district in which the hotel was located. It wasn’t until we returned to our rooms that we discovered that there was a connecting door between them.

“I thought that registration clerk had a gleam in his eye,” Britney mused. By now, we were comfortable enough with one another to laugh at that unintended feature of our accommodations.

Exhausted, we were ready for sleep. We had appointments the next morning, Britney at the company’s manufacturing facility, and I at their business offices. So we made arrangements to have an early room service breakfast in my room, and then I wished her good night at her door.

“You could stay with me tonight, if you’d like,” I said, jokingly.

“This trip is all about business,” she reminded me. We shared a friendly hug.

At breakfast the next morning, we made plans to meet for dinner that night. Then we caught taxis for our respective destinations.

During the next few days, I had one meeting after another. As was typical of so many international companies in Japan, Japanese executives filled the cosmetics company’s senior positions, and the middle-management people were generally Americans. I spent time with each of them. I met also with the owners of the five distributor firms that were responsible for selling the company’s products in Japan. This particular company is truly an anomaly in Japan, since it is one of only a few U.S. companies that were introduced into the country prior to World War II. As a result, it is a fixture in Japanese culture, more similar to Japanese beauty brands, such as Shiseido and Kao, than to more recent American arrivals, such as Revlon.

Britney was fully occupied, as well. She spent her days talking to the production people, observing the manufacturing process, and reviewing samples of the company’s products, as well as those of their competitors.

There was one major unforeseen circumstance. Each of the company executives expected to entertain me during my stay. In their male-oriented business society, that meant that I was required to spend every night socializing with men without their wives. When I once suggested that Britney join us, the social rules of the Japanese business environment were explained to me: Britney was no welcomer than were my hosts’ wives.

To adjust to this situation, I developed an unusual schedule for each day. Britney and I would begin the mornings with room service breakfast in my room. Then we would depart for our business agendas. She and I would reconvene in the early evenings and have dinner together in one of the Roppongi restaurants. I would usually begin with a scotch, and Britney, always the nondrinker, would order a Coca Cola. We would share stories from our respective workdays over robatayaki or kaiseki or sushi, finishing with the omnipresent green-tea ice cream. We always ended with her admonition to me to behave myself in the wicked city, as I kissed her good night at the door of her hotel room.

man massagecropI wasn’t pleased about indulging in two dinners each day, but I had little choice. Britney needed to be fed, and I couldn’t insult my Japanese hosts by declining their invitations. After leaving Britney, I would proceed to the lobby, meet my evening’s host, and begin that night’s socializing. We would inevitably dine at a fancy restaurant and follow with the customary drinking at a hostess bar, or, one time, at a fabled geisha bar. After a particularly heavy round of drinking one night, I was taken to a sento, a public bath, for what my host assured me was the perfect antidote to any potential hangover—a bath administered by an attractive young lady, culminating in her blow-drying and styling my hair while I was still in the tub!

woman hotelEach morning, I would describe the previous night’s activities to Britney over breakfast. She usually entered my room through the interior door, and most often, her breakfast attire was the hotel-supplied, white, terrycloth robe, wrapped tightly around her. Our relationship had evolved to the point where seeing one another at breakfast and dinner was the best part of our days. However, the ground rules had been established, and morning and evening hugs and kisses were the extent of our physical relationship.

At the end of the first week, I had planned a surprise for Britney. Since we had no business scheduled over the weekend, I had arranged a three-day sightseeing trip. Late Friday afternoon, we boarded the bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto. The train rushed through the Japanese countryside, allowing us a glimpse of majestic Mt. Fuji in the distance.

Britney was thrilled by the train trip. She had enjoyed Tokyo, despite the obligatory early endings to her evenings. Now, she was traveling through Japan to Kyoto, the country’s greatest treasure.

“This is extraordinary; I’ve never known anything like it, you know,” Britney said as we pulled into the Shin-Osaka station, a twenty-minute taxi ride from Kyoto.

“I’m glad.” I’d been feeling guilty all week about my socializing while she was confined to her hotel room. I wanted desperately to please this lovely, attractive woman.

As the taxi arrived at our hotel, I turned to Britney. “I suppose you would like us to have separate rooms here, too.” I had booked two rooms, but I had not mentioned that to her.

Her voice was soft. “I really think we should. It’s what loyalty and commitment are all about.”

japanese gardensFor the next three days, we filled every available hour with viewing the attractions of the area: the stunning Kiyomizu and Heian Shrines, the glorious Kinkakuji and Ryoanji Temples, Kyoto’s Imperial Palace, the Nijo Castle, and a side trip to Nara, where we strolled through Nara Park and fed the deer. During the evenings, we dined leisurely, free from our weekday constraints of early, rushed dinners. We had experienced Kyoto’s beautiful sights, breathtaking architecture and gardens, and absorbed so much Japanese history, culture, and tradition.

Our train carried us back to Tokyo late Monday afternoon. “I never thought I would love a place as much as I loved Florence,” Britney said. She sipped her Coca Cola and turned to me. “You really know how to make a lady happy.”

“It’s not me; it’s the Coke,” I teased. I was feeling pretty pleased, too.

We had four more days of intensive work in Tokyo. Britney spent much of her time in the city’s enormous department stores: Isetan, Matsuya, Tobu, and Seibu. She interviewed the incredibly polite women and girls who were customers in the stores about their opinions of the cosmetic company’s cosmetic and skincare products. I visited the company’s advertising agencies. I met also with the people at the research and retail audit company, to confirm the company’s market share.

By the following Friday, we had completed our work. It had been an intense and thorough analysis. At the end of the day, Britney and I said our final farewells to our respective company contacts, as the hotel’s secretarial staff typed up Britney’s report to me.

On Saturday, I packed my things, including the silk kimonos I had purchased for my wife and daughters. Britney and I taxied to the airport, boarded our plane, and flew toward home.

Seated on the plane, we discussed our enthusiasm for the company’s Japanese operation. There could be no doubt that it would be a valuable part of the conglomerate. For some reason, the flight of more than twelve hours seemed particularly short upon our return. Perhaps it was our gaining the extra day; flying over, we had lost a day to the International Date Line, and now, we were given it back. More likely, though, it was the ease with which Britney and I related. This woman, to whom I’d been so attracted for two weeks, was now my friend. She had not only done an outstanding job on the business assignment, but she’d taught me so much about loyalty and commitment. Indeed, I realized, suddenly, that I would give my marriage another fervent try.

I reached into my briefcase and extracted the souvenir I’d intended for Britney. I gave her the Coke bottle I’d been carrying; it was covered with Japanese characters.

“Just one of a hundred you emptied,” I told her, grinning.

As we landed, she handed me a wrapped gift. After unwrapping it, I found an art book entitled: Japanese Erotic Prints Through The Centuries. The enclosed card was inscribed to me: The one area NOT covered on this trip!

Britney touched my arm. “Thank you for the experience of my life. Let me know what happens with the company.”

I assured her that I would.

I caught only a glimpse of Damon’s back at the airport before I met my wife with an embrace. That night, I told her that I thought we should give our marriage another chance. We had made a commitment to one another, I said, and we should find a way to make it work.

The middle of the next week, the president of the conglomerate, the director of finance, and I presented our purchase recommendation to the board of directors. The Board approved it, and a month later, the cosmetics company became a new division of our conglomerate.

After the Board presentation, I wandered back to my office, and, as I accessed my voicemail messages in habitual fashion, I heard the familiar voice: Britney. I listened carefully.

“It was an incredible trip. I learned so much from you—most importantly, about myself. I broke up last night with Damon, something I should’ve done long ago. I hope you call me, but, please—call only if you’re interested in a serious relationship with me.”

I took a deep breath as I looked toward the telephone. I sat for a couple of minutes. Then I headed out the door of my office and made my way to the commuter train. My wife and I were to have dinner that night, as we began our reconciliation effort.

New York is a big city, and I lost track of what happened to Britney.

That doesn’t mean I never wondered.

Taken from the September 2003 Issue of True Love Magazine

Official Trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey


The trailer for the Fifty Shades of Grey film has finally been revealed, giving fans a first look at Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele on screen.

The film, which has been directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, sees Christian Grey played by a youthful Jamie Dornan with Dakota Johnson in the role of college student Anastasia Steele.

The anticipated movie has been co-produced by Fifty Shades of Grey writer EL James, and has been timed for a Valentine’s Day release in 2015.

Yes, there’s fleeting glimpses of some of the racier material from EL James’ best-seller – although those expecting a sizzling page-for-page re-enactment may well be disappointed, following reports the sex scenes have been toned down for the screen.

A source previously admitted: ‘It’s less racy than the book,’ while those who viewed early footage of the film back in March declared it ‘surprisingly tame’, with suggestions that the focus was more on romance than raunch.

*UPDATE In the week since Universal and Focus Features premiered the trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey, the 2 1/2-minute promo has become the biggest online trailer launch in history, the studio said. Universal scored more than 100 million views across all platforms in a week. That is about the number of books sold globally.